Somewere I belong
by Wizard92
Summary: Andrina, Andy, Caine finds out that she is different. But what does it mean to be different? Where do you belong when you are different? Who can you trust in a world that follows the rules when you don't fit in their picture perfect? How do you survive? Maybe you are the bright new light your society needs, maybe you are not. Maybe you are a problem. EricXOC (pre-books).
1. Chapter 1

******I don't own Divergent, I only own my OC's**

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**Chapter 1**

I am very ordinary.

There is nothing special about me. I look plain, with long brown hair and green eyes. I am skinny, a bit too skinny to be good looking to boys. Not that I ever really thought about boy's that way. Maybe once, but I guess you could say I didn't make the cut, so I forgot about it.

I come from an ordinary family. Mom, dad, little sister.

Simple.

Like every other family, I guess.

Mom and dad are really smart. They are researchers, who focus on improving the health of the city. They are well respected in their field. They aren't just smart, like most of their college's, but they are also kind and they help others. It's not very Erudite of them. People talk about that, behind their backs. I always catch their eyes following mom and dad as they walk by. Maybe they are jealous of them?

My sister looks a lot like my mother. Both are very pretty. They have blue eyes and long legs. We all share the same hair color. Marie, my sister, keeps is short. Why keep it long, if you wear it in a ponytail or a bum every day? I guess she is right, but that doesn't make me cut mine. I always liked long hair. It's the only part of my body that I'm proud of. I think it gives me something wild, what is something else in Erudite.

Everyone is so strict in my eyes. Simple, with elegant clothes that, sadly for me, show of peoples figures really good. I always hated wearing those long skirts that makes your hips come out just right. I'm too skinny, so it just doesn't look good on me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not some obsessive teenager, who can only complain about her looks. It's just something I get confronted with every day. At school, on my way home, at mom and dad their work. Everywhere I look, there are stunning, I would even call them beautiful, people.

And they know they look good.

I never got along with the girl's of my class because of this and the boy's liked mocking me for my looks. It never gets to me. I guess I have a thick skin, but it just makes me think about myself and other people.

Especially at a time like this. When I have to decide what I'm going to do with my future.

I'm waiting in a hall with my classmates to take the aptitude test. I'm not really nervous. You can't study for a test like this and it will tell you what to do. I'm not sure I want to stay in Erudite, but I can't imagine living among these people for the rest of my life.

It sounds dull and boring. I think I would like some more action in my life. Maybe I should choose Dauntless. They are so fierce and every time I see them, they are having fun. Their life seems so exciting.

And dangerous.

For some reason that sounds appealing to me, although I have never engaged in anything they do. Like jumping from trains, climbing bridges or fighting. I am not sure I am cut out to be like them. I'm pretty sure my body would never survive initiation. And that would mean I become factionless.

That doesn't sound to promising or appealing.

Would I dare to take the risk?

I never really take risks. Would I dare to do it now? It only has an effect on the rest of my life.

Maybe I should choose Abnegation. In my eyes, they live an easy life. All day long they help other people and put their own needs aside. It sounds like something every person should do from time to time. Here in Erudite, they think that Abnegation is a joke. I hear mom and dad talk about it sometimes. They never openly say anything bad about them, but I can tell from their body language that they agree with their faction.

I don't think I belong in Candor. I lie too easy for that. I should maybe stop doing that. It's probably the reason why I don't get along with people. I lie to easy and too much. I like being on my own, but no one around me seems to understand that. Apparently that's weird. Why would you want to be alone, when you could be with people, discussing science and whatnot?

No, I defiantly don't belong in Candor. I like keeping my secrets hidden within me.

Amity then? Frankly I think those people are hippies. It's a bad thing to think, I would never call them hippies out loud. It's just mean. I get called funny names a lot, they don't bug me, but it's not like I enjoy hearing them. Maybe I do belong in Abnegation. The thing I like about Amity is that they decide everything together. There isn't one leader, like here in Erudite. Janine Matthews is our leader and everyone loves her. She's smart, cunning and beautiful. I have met her once. She seemed okay, but I think she's too smart and to cunning and to beautiful. I don't trust her.

Maybe I am jealous of her.

Another thing I like about the Amity, is working in the field. It appeals to me. Working under the sun all day, actually having a feeling that you are doing something worthwhile. If you think about it, what do the Abnegation and Candor do that is so important to our society? What do they bring to the table? Amity provides food, Dauntless protects us and Erudite keeps us healthy.

Maybe I don't belong in Abnegation. I'm too selfish for it.

But that doesn't' solve my problem. Where do I belong?

Maybe I should stay in Erudite. While thinking this problem over, I am approaching it like a true Erudite. There is a problem and I need to find an answer to that problem. What are the pros and what are the cons of every faction?

This is driving me crazy! I can't believe everyone has to go try this and we can't talk about it to each other. Not that I have friends who I could talk to, but still. How are you supposed to choose? Every faction has its pro's and its con's.

Where do I belong? I barely know anything about the other four factions. How can I choose one? Maybe one seems appealing to me now, but when I live in the faction and learn their way of life, maybe I'll realize that the faction I chose, it's where I belong.

"Andrina Caine," a woman's voice calls me and I look up. She's from Abnegation. Her grey clothes are hanging like rags around her body. I don't understand why Abnegation wears their clothes like that. It makes them look so poor and unsophisticated.

Okay, I do belong among the vain and smart people from Erudite.

"You may come in now." I follow the woman into the room and look back at my classmates. They are talking and some look at me with their sharp eyes.

The question is do I want to belong among these people?


	2. Chapter 2

**I am looking for a Beta! Anyone ****interested**? 

**I don't own Divergent, I only own my OC's**

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**Chapter 2**

I should just trust the aptitude test. They were created to tell us where we belong. It will tell me where my path will lead me too. I mean, I should be most happy in the faction this test tells me to go too. It makes its decision based on a bunch of stuff that happens in my head. Stuff that makes me…me.

I'm going to just do what this test tells me to do and stop thinking about it.

The Abnegation woman explains to me what's about to happen. I drink some kind of serum and sit down in a chair that looks like it belongs in a dentist office. I never liked the dentists. I always leave them in pain. And I kind of hate needles and for some reason they always have to push one into my gums. Can you imagine? I hate needles and they put one, right in front of my eyes. I can't even look away while that damn thing comes closer and I can't seem to force myself to close my eyes.

So yeah, I hate needles and the dentist.

The aptitude test is a weird experience. One minute I'm sitting in the chair and another I am standing in front of big dog. And that dog looks angry. A voice tells me to choose between a knife and a piece of meat. I take the meat because I didn't want to kill the dog. And because it would piss the dog more of if I pointed it at him. The dog ate the meat calmly.

A girl appeared after that. She wanted to play with the dog, but the creature became mad again. It wanted to attack the little girl. While I saw her run away, all I could think about was my sister. What would I do if it was her? Would I just let her get attacked? But what can I do to stop this dog? I don't have a weapon or anything to distract it with?

Think Andy, think!

The only thing I could do was attack the dog myself, but it would most definitely attack me after that. The girl screams as the dog gets closer. I guess that's a problem for later. I sprinted after the animal and jumped on it. I tried to get control it.

Somewhere during my fight with the dog, we fell through the floor and the dog disappeared. I was falling, but where would I stop? I closed my eyes. I landed on a hard floor that was moving. Moving? A train. I opened my eyes and saw I was on one of the trains that I always see the Dauntless jump from. What am I doing here?

A man was sitting, reading the newspaper. I didn't know what to do, so I just stared out the window of the train. I usually walk to school. It isn't far for me and I don't like to be crowed on these things. I'm not claustrophobic, but I hate being pushed up against other people. Especially when they are sweaty and stink.

"Do you know this guy?" the man behind me suddenly asks. He taps the picture on the front page of the newspaper. The headline reads: "Brutal murderer finally apprehended!". I just blink while I stare at the picture. Should I know this man? The word murderer sends a shiver down my back. It's been a very long time since a headline like that made the front page of the newspaper.

But it's not real, Andy. You are still inside the test. It's just a simulation. What am I suppose to do?

"Well?" I hear anger in the man's voice. "Do you?"

I don't know him and it feels stupid to pretend that I do. I have a feeling something bad will happen to me if I say that I knew the man. Maybe this guy knew someone the murderer killed. I shook my head: "I don't know him."

My answer doesn't seem to please the man. I graph one of the poles in the train to steady myself. Maybe this guy will attack me? What am I suppose to do then? Andy, it's just a simulation. Whatever he does, it isn't real. So the pain can't be real, right?

The man comes closer to me and I straighten my back. He smells like cigarettes and his cheeks are rippled with scars, just like his left hand. "You are lying," the man says. He sounds very intimidating. I feel fear inside my body, but I don't want him to see it on me. I take a step forward, not sure that it's a smart move: "No, I don't know him."

"You do know him! I can see it in your eyes," the man is starting to sound desperate for some reason. Why? I thought he would attack me. The man graphs my arm. I want him to let go, but his grip is pretty good: "Please, if you know him, you can help me. You can save me."

I was a bit stunned by his answer. What am I suppose to do now? How can I save this man? I don't know the murderer? What does it matter anyway, it's just a simulation. With that in the back of my mind, I pull my arm lose: "I don't know him."

After that the train disappears and I wake up in the dentist chair. It takes my mind a few seconds to adjust. I'm not in the simulation anymore. This is real. I get up and look at the Abnegation woman. She stares at the computer screen in front of her with wide eyes. She isn't moving. What's wrong with her? Her behavior sends a shiver down my spine. Did I do something wrong?

"What is my result?" I ask the woman after. She jumps a little and looks at me with startled eyes. A nasty feeling starts showing its head inside my stomach. She doesn't know what to say and stuttered: "Well…eum…your test…it's…eum…"

"Just tell me already," I raise my voice at the woman. I feel bad for doing that, but she is giving me a really bad feeling. Her hands hold the hem of her shirt. She looks really nervous. Why? She's older than me? What is wrong?

"Your test results are inconclusive. Normally each stage of the simulation eliminates one or more of the factions. But for some reason your actions have only ruled out three factions," the Abnegation woman explains to me. I don't know what to say or what to think. What does this mean?

"Your actions only rules out Amity, Candor and Abnegation. But the last two were barely ruled out. You spoke the truth to the man on the train and you scarified yourself for the girl, knowing you would get attacked by the dog."

"So what is my result then?" I ask, my voice and legs are shaking. It's very quite in my head, what is weird for someone from Erudite. In a situation like this, my head should be working at top speed, trying to figure out what is going on. Why is my test inconclusive?

"According to the test you are Erudite and Dauntless," the girl explains to me. I guess those were the most appealing factions to me. But what am I? Am I both? But she said that I was also practically Candor and Abnegation. So am I four factions? Do I belong in four factions?

Great, this test is supposed to tell me what faction I should choose tomorrow at the Choosing Ceremony. Now what do I do?

"What does it mean? That I am more than one faction? How is that even possible?" I asked the woman. I hadn't notice before, but she is standing close to me and she is whispering. This must be information, no one else should hear: "It's possible, but it's extremely rare. People like you are called…they are called…_divergent_." I barely hear the last word.

Divergent? I am divergent?

"You should not tell this to anyone. People don't like divergents for some reason. My father told me about them. You shouldn't tell this to anyone, for your own safety. I can manually enter your test results. I'll give in Erudite. No one has to find out about you."

"But I…," I had a million questions, but I didn't know which I should ask first. The Abnegation woman tells me to be quite and pulls me out of the room. I hadn't notice there was another door. Why is this woman acting so weird? My Erudite side wants answers: "Leave, go home. I'll take care of your test results."

She's about to close the door: "Don't forget, never tell anyone about this. Not even your parents. Especially not yours. It's not safe."

After that she closed the door. I am standing alone in an empty hall. What am I suppose to do now? What did she mean with that last part? What's wrong with my parents? Why can't I tell them? They should help me? Why isn't it safe? What's wrong with me? I don't feel any different, so what could be wrong with me?

My feet start taking me home, but my mind doesn't register how I eventually get there.

What do I do now?


	3. Chapter 3

**I am looking for a Beta! Anyone interested? **

**I don't own Divergent, I only own my OC's**

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**Chapter 3**

This is impossible. I can't decide what faction to choose. Am I brave and fierce like the Dauntless or intelligent like the Erudite? What about selflessness and honesty. Do I crave those? I guess I want to be all these things, but I have to choose one faction.

Yesterday is like a blur to me. I can't remember coming home, seeing my parents or having dinner. Marie was at school, so I didn't see her until supper, but I'm not sure I actually talked to her. I'm not sure of anything anymore.

The aptitude test was supposed to tell me what I should do with my life. Maybe I am part of Abnegation, because I rely on the test to tell me what to do. I'm not being selfish, I want to do what the test tells me to do, what society expects me to do.

Or is that just being weak? A cowards way out perhaps? Maybe I don't trust my own strengths. Do I really want to end up in some faction just because some test tells me I belong there?

No, I am stronger than that.

I want to live a life that I chose. I don't care about the test. I want to be daring, brave, adventurous and most of all, I want to be fearless.

"Dauntless!"

My thoughts are pulled back at the present. I hadn't realized that I had cut my hand and that my blood was sizzling on the coals. Jeanine Matthews was standing in front of me. The Erudite were responsible this year for the Choosing Ceremony, which means that Jeanine had to give me the knife. She looked stunned and a bit angry, although she hid it well. I guess she had hoped I would stay in Erudite and become as useful as possible, like my parents.

My parents.

I hadn't considered them in my decision. It didn't seem logical. It's my life and I shouldn't be held down by them, even if they are my parents. Besides, if it was up to them, I would have stayed in Erudite. And I don't want to be a smart mouth for the rest of my life. I don't want to be intelligent, being smart is good enough for me. I don't want to sit at a desk, staring at a computer for the rest of my life. My eyes hurt just thinking about it.

And I most defiantly don't want to wear glasses, considering I have perfect eyesight. I think it's so stupid the Erudite do that. My sister does it too. I never understood why they did it. I know why, but I don't understand it. For people, who value logic, it's completely illogic. Why wear glasses if your eyesight isn't bad. It's not like anyone doubts that the people of Erudite are smart. They don't need glasses to prove it.

I stood with the other Dauntless initiatives. They were full of energy and talking very loud. I stood in the back and watched them. I didn't dare let my eyes wonder to the Erudite seats, where my parents sat. I can't face them, not right now.

Maybe they knew I would switch factions. Aren't parents supposed to know their children? I am not really intelligent, like they are. Even Marie is smarter than me. But maybe they expected me to stay with them. What will they tell Marie today when she comes home from school and she will probably never see me again? Or at least not for a very long time.

I wonder what they are thinking.

I want to believe they knew I was cut out to be Dauntless. Why would they else call me Andrina? It means brave. And my last name, Caine, means fighter. My grandmother, on my father's side, gave me my name. She used to tell me I was destined for greatness, whatever that means. She was from Dauntless, but switched factions. She never told me why. She wasn't extremely smart and she never gave me the impression that she wanted to know how the world works. She just did what was expected, nothing more, nothing less. She died five years ago. She was old. I never knew my grandfather. He was from Erudite and so were his parents. I basically come from a line of smart people.

And I'm the only one who wants out.

Two days before my grandmother passed away, she gave me her wedding ring. She said it was her most valued possession, even more then her children. I never understand why. It's just a ring. She told me that my grandfather knew everything about her en she never thought that he could love her the way he had done. She felt very fortunate. The ring is a symbol of their love.

Now that I think about it, my grandmother was kind of weird.

The Choosing ceremony ends and the Dauntless are the first to leave the building. They scream and laugh while running after each other. They seem so full of energy. I had a hard time repressing a smile while following them.

I couldn't bring myself to look back at my parents. I didn't want to find out what they thought about my decision. I am afraid to find out.

So I run after the Dauntless, who will accompany me for the next couple of days, maybe even for the rest of my life. For some reason, that sounds really promising.

The Dauntless were running fast and I had a hard time keeping up with them. I am not used to running. My days used to be just studying and walking from place to place and help around the house. I never realized how simple my life was, even for an Erudite. It's almost Abnegation like, without all the grey.

I wasn't the only one having a hard time keeping up with the others. A boy, from Amity, was running next to me. He was out of breath and I could tell from the look on his face that his side was hurting him. He looked at me. He looks like all the guy's from Amity. Simple and colorful.

I just realized that everyone looks simple in my eyes. Except the Dauntless. No one looks alike among them. Their hair, clothes, tattoos and piercings make them look like actually individuals, unlike all the other fractions.

Well that's my opinion anyway.

Maybe this guy thinks like me. Maybe he left Amity because he wanted more. Maybe he wanted to be strong and brave. But by the look on his face he wouldn't make it on his own.

Maybe he can be my friend?

I graphed the guy's hand, when he's about to stop. He needed to catch his breath. I drag him with me. I see the others climbing a bridge. It leads to the rails of the train. It shouldn't surprise me, but I didn't have a lot of time to wonder about it, because the train was entering the station.

Shit.

If I am not on that train, then I will become factionless. Damn it! I start climbing, forgetting about the guy next to me. He's not going to make it. He's climbing to slow. I can't just leave him behind, but I can't miss that train.

"Come on, climb faster! Graph my hand!" I yell at him, over the shouting of the Dauntless. The boy does as I tell him too and I pull him up. I don't know where the strength comes from. We climb together up the bridge. The train coming closer.

I'm the first one to stand on the platform. The first compartments of the train pass by me. Shit! I pull the guy up with a lot of force, probably hurting him in the process. But I can't dwell on that now. The other Dauntless and initiatives are already climbing on the train.

We are far behind.

And the last compartment is coming close, very fast.

"Climb on the train!" I yell at the boy. He's looking very white. Maybe he'll faint. If that happens, he's on his own. I can't carry him. That's maybe a selfish thought, but it's also the truth. And according to the attitude test I'm more Erudite than Abnegation.

One of the older Dauntless helps the guy onto the train. I try to run faster, but I am out of energy. What am I going to do? I am never going to get on that train. I am running alongside the last compartment. I'm the last one on the platform.

It can't end for me like this, can it?

This was supposed to be the beginning for me. It can't end like this. The adrenaline going through my body, gives me some help. I reach for the handle next to the last door of the compartment. If I can't reach it, I am done for! Come on Andy, graph it!

But my feet can't keep running anymore. My eyes widen as I realize that I am not going to make it. The train will leave and I can just hear people laughing at me, at my failure. Why did I help that guy? I should have just left him. I would have made it that way.

I am done for.

Before my feet stop running, I feel a hand graph my wrist and pull me with a lot of force forward. My feet aren't touching the ground anymore and I feel myself flying. An arm latches itself around my waist and I get pulled against a hard frame.

A body?

A chest?

My eyes look at the person who pulled me on the train. Green eyes meet grey once. It's a man holding me. He looks to be somewhere in his twenties. Maybe twenty-five. Above his right eye there are piercings and I notice tattoos in his neck. For some reason I was holding my breath. Probably from the sudden change in the situation. The man holding me is basically the human form of strength. I can tell by the way his arms were holding me against his frame that he had to be really strong. He was literally holding my entire body up, with just one arm. His other arm was holding us against the train.

Remind me to never piss this guy off. I'm pretty sure he can crack my skull with one hand.

I feel his body move and my feet touch the ground of the last train compartment. I can't believe I made it. I can't believe this guy helped me. I was convinced I was done for. That I would have to live factionless. I am on the train and I can still become Dauntless.

But I am going to have to prove myself and I will prove myself.

The man who helped me doesn't say anything. His eyes leave mine as he walks to the front of the compartment, towards a fellow Dauntless member. I feel a shiver run down my spine. Even his eyes are powerful. A sense of pride enters my body and I want to prove to these people what I am made of. That I can survive their crazy world and that I belong among them.

I especially want to prove myself against the man who saved me.

Next time, I won't need his help.


	4. Chapter 4

**I am looking for a Beta! Anyone interested? **

**I don't own Divergent, I only own my OC's**

* * *

**Chapter 4**

"Hey my name is Rob," I look up at the boy I had helped. His face wasn't as white anymore and he was breathing normally. When the fear of becoming factionless had washed over me, I had sat down and tried to relax my body. I am so glad that I wore pants today, else I wouldn't have been able to climb the bridge.

The boy in front of me is holding his hand out. I shake it and he sits down next to me: "Thanks for helping me. I would have become factionless, if it wasn't for you. You almost did. I promise I'll repay you for it someday."

"Yeah, sure," I don't really know what to say. For a short period I hated this guy, because I was going to become factionless. In that short moment, I really hated him and my own Abnegation side. I had wished I hadn't helped him. Everyone made it to the train without help, why couldn't this guy? But now, as I'm sitting on the train, I remember me thinking about becoming friends with him. He looks friendly and nice. I should just let go of what happened. That man helped me and I still have a change of becoming Dauntless: "I am Andy."

I don't know why I introduce myself as Andy. I am starting a new life for myself, why not let go of my old life, my old name. Or at least a part of it. Andy is my nickname after all. My family has always called me Andy. Only on rare occasions my parents called me Andrina. And my sister only calls me that when she's mad at me.

"I have a feeling we are in for a wild ride," Rob said smiling and I smile with him. He's right. These people are crazy, but that's why I chose them. Running those streets, climbing that bridge and trying to catch the train. I have never felt such a rush. It made me feel alive. For some reason the train feels more real, pressed against my back. Rob's hand felt more real when I touched it. That man's body felt more real while I was pressed against it.

I never experienced this kind of feeling at Erudite.

It must be a good sign.

The rest of the train ride I listen to the other initiates talk. They are excited. There are five kids from Candor, three from Erudite and two from Amity. Ten initiates. I don't know if that's a lot or not. I recognize all of them from school. I never talked with them though. Except the other two Erudite initiates. Their names are Sarah and Michael. I know them pretty good, well as good as someone with no friends can know people. They liked to mock me, along with their friends. I am kind of surprised to see them on this train. I didn't think they would leave Erudite. Both are smart and always seemed interested in learning more.

Then again, maybe they just lied and sucked up to the teachers. I remember them being the teacher's pets.

"They're jumping off!" Someone yells and I sit up. Apparently I had dozed off. How can I doze off on a moving train? Rob was standing at the door of the train compartment. He was looking at the front of the train. Dauntless were jumping off and landing on the roof of a building. I guess this is the next test. Are you willing to make the jump?

I could tell Rob was trembling. He's kind of a wimp, isn't he? Then again, it is a deep fall if you don't make it and the landing will probably hurt too. Maybe I should be trembling on my feet. But the strange thing is, I'm not scared. I want to jump. It seems fun and adventures. A smile crosses my face as I approach Rob. I wonder if he would jump on his own.

"Let's do it together," I suggest and pull him back. It might be easier for Rob if we jump while running. The other initiates jump one by one. Everyone is leaving the train and soon it's just Rob, me, the man who helped me and the man he was talking to. My eyes meet gray eyes. Is he wondering if I would jump?

"Come on Rob, on three. One… two…three."

I had to pull him with me. He really is a… what's the world the dauntless use…pansycake. He really is a pansycake. We jump and for a few seconds we hover in the air, before we crash on the roof. I let go of Rob's hand in midair. I land on my side and roll over a few times before I stop.

I can't believe I just jumped out of a moving train! That was amazing! My body is filled with adrenaline. I hope we get to do that again soon.

I stand up and see Rob lying on his back. I walk over to him. He isn't moving. Did he die from a heart attack in midair? I see him staring at the sky. His eyes meet mine and we both start laughing. I help him to his feet: "For a second I thought you were dead, pansycake."

"For second I thought I was dead," Rob told me. We followed the rest of the group initiates. They were standing at the edge of the roof. I wonder what the next test will be. Now that everyone was standing together, I realized there were more initiates then I first thought. I had forgotten about the Dauntless born initiates. There were fifteen of them. And they all look like they belong in this faction. They look fierce, bold and daring. I secretly want to be like them. Without the multiple tattoos and piercings.

"Listen up!" I stop looking at the other initiates and focus myself on the edge of the building. The man who helped me was standing on the ledge. He looked even more intimidating that way: "My name is Eric. I am one of the leaders of your new faction."

He's a leader? Damn, I didn't just get helped by a random Dauntless. I got saved by a Dauntless leader. I am so screwed. I'll have to prove myself extra if I want to impress this man. He doesn't look like the type that is easily impressed.

"Several stories below us, is the members entrance to our compound. If you can't muster the will to jump off, you don't belong here. The transfer initiates have the privilege of going first." Eric explained. I should feel scared, but it seemed exiting to jump. It's not like they would let us jump to our death. There will be something to catch us. Water or a net. Any Erudite would know that.

"You want us to jump off a ledge?" Sarah asked. She looked scarred. I guess not every Erudite would see the logic. Michael is looking over the edge. His face is also a bit white, but as I expected, he volunteers to jump first. I don't feel like jumping first. I'll wait with Rob. Maybe he needs the extra push again. I look at him, but he doesn't seem scarred this time: "It's not like they would let us jump to our death, right."

Apparently he's smarter than Sarah. I smile and nod. After Michael jumps, almost everyone wanted to see what happened to him. But the darkness didn't show anything. We only heard Michael laugh. After that the initiates weren't scarred anymore and they lined up to jump. Rob was one of them.

I wasn't really paying attention. I was more interested in where we were. I have never been in this part of the city. The buildings look old and I wonder where the Dauntless really live. Underground maybe.

In Erudite I lived in a small apartment. We lived with a lot of families in the building and it was one of the better looking once in the neighborhood. I guess my building was only for the families with good scientists in them. The buildings around the head building of Erudite were all kept in a good state. The buildings behind those weren't as important and they were older. If people wanted to renovate them, they had to do it themselves.

"Initiates, are you going to stay behind?" I turn around and see that all the initiates had jumped already. Was I spacing out that long? I was surprised to find out that Rob had jumped on his own. Maybe he isn't such a pansycake. Eric was the only one standing on the roof, standing on the edge: "It's a little late to back down now, wouldn't you say."

"Why would I back down? It's just jumping into, what I suspect is a net," I answer him honestly and walk towards the edge. I climb on it without showing fear. There was a small amount present in my stomach, but I wasn't going to show it in front of this guy.

Why? Why did it have to be a Dauntless leader that pulled me on the train?

"That's a very Erudite thing to say," Eric answers and looks at me. I turn my head to him. A shiver crawling down my spine again, when my eyes meet his. Am I feeling uncomfortable because of the power he represents? His eyes alone make me want to listen to what he has to say. How does a person become this powerful?

"Well I am still wearing their uniform, so I guess I am still aloud to be a smart mouth. Don't worry, I heard you guys have a few days to beat that out of me. Should be fun," I answer back. Maybe I shouldn't be such a smart mouth with this guy. He is a leader after all. If I make it to the end of initiates, I will have to take orders from him. Eric doesn't seem offended, then again his body language and eyes didn't change. Maybe he's just good at hiding his anger. He doesn't say anything and I'm starting to suspect that that's not a good thing.

I decide to switch the subject.

"Thanks for pulling me on the train. Wouldn't have made it without you," I say, trying to joke, to lighten the mood. It doesn't help. I'm starting to realize that I have made this man angry. And if I'm correct about the tension I'm feeling, I made him very angry. His eyes tell me, so I lower mine. I don't feel like pissing him off more.

"Jump initiates or I'll push you of the edge," Eric says after a few seconds. I didn't know what to do, so I just kept my mouth shut. When Eric spoke again, his voice was carrying a dangerous tone. I believed him when he said he would push me. I think he wanted to push me. A lot.

"Aya Captain," I said and let myself fall of the edge. Eric's face becomes a black spot fast and it didn't take long for me to reach the net.

I was right. Of course I'm right, it's completely logical that there would be a net at the bottom of this black hole. I couldn't suppress a small laugh. It escaped my mouth before I even realized it. While I stare up at the sky, I feel someone graph the net. I roll to the side and some other guy lifts me out of it. He's looks about the same age as Eric. Maybe he's a leader too?

"Eric needed to push you?" he asks and I feel my feet land on the ground. My legs tremble a little bit. I see Rob standing beneath us. We are standing on some sort of platform. I shook my head and looked at the guy: "No, we were just having a discussion about the weather. It's so nice today."

My answer makes this guy laugh. For a moment I thought he would be angry with me, like Eric. Speaking of the man, he came flying from the roof and landed in the net. He rolled out of it quickly, making him stand next to me and the new guy: "Hurray up Four, we're late!"

"What's your name?" Four asked me. What a weird name. He probably changed his just like I did. Maybe he wanted to leave his old life behind him too. He must be a transfer then. Eric doesn't look like a transfer. He was probably born and raised in this compound: "It's Andy."

"Last jumper, Andy. Welcome to Dauntless," Four says and I smile a little. This guy seems a lot nicer then Eric. I can't help but let my eyes wonder towards the man. For some reason his angry eyes are on me and Four. Maybe I should stay low for a while.

I follow Four down the platform and the group of initiates follows him, Eric and a nameless woman. Rob walks beside me and his smile reaches his ears. He must be proud of himself that he jumped on his own. His smile is contagious, but I can't think about it any longer. We are walking through the Dauntless compound. The place I want to call home.

I wonder what it looks like.


	5. Chapter 5

**I am looking for a Beta! Anyone interested? **

**I don't own Divergent, I only own my OC's**

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**Chapter 5**

Eric, Four and the woman, named Lauren, lead us down some tunnels. We split up at the end of it. Lauren takes all the Dauntless born to their sleeping quarters. I wonder what those will look like here. In Erudite the initiates would get pretty, but simple rooms. A lot of white. I would go mad in them. They look too much like a hospital. I went their once with my dad.

Eric and Four show us around the compound. They tell us where everything is. The pit is apparently the center of the Dauntless compound. A lot of people are gathered there, laughing, fighting and doing others things. It looks like a fun place to just relax. There wasn't anything like this in the Erudite headquarters.

After seeing the pit, we walk up at the right side of it. For some reason it is very dark. I have a hard time seeing where my feet are. Suddenly the girls in front of me stop. I wasn't paying attention. I bump into them and they give me nasty looks. I hear a roar, water. It's moving fast and crashing against the rocks. I look over the other initiatives heads and see that the floor drops off at a sharp angle. Several stories below us, there is a river. The Dauntless call it the chasm. The water sprays upwards and my shoes get wet.

"The chasm reminds us that there is a fine line between bravery and idiocy!" Four shouts. I have a hard time hearing him. The chasm makes a lot of noise. I can't believe I hadn't heard it from within the pit: "A daredevil jump off this ledge will end your life. It has happened before and will again. Consider yourself warned."

I have a feeling I'm going to have a hard time with that fine line Four was talking about. It seems very daring to jump in the chasm. I can imagine that people wouldn't make it out alive. But wouldn't it be amazing if you did survive it? Andy, stop thinking like that. You would never survive it.

"Only an idiot would jump of the edge," Rob whispers to me and laughs. I laugh with him, but he doesn't notice that my eyes linger on the water. Yeah, only an idiot would jump. For some reason the chasm mesmerizes me. It's powerful. The water can crush you before you even know what is happening to you.

"Keep walking initiate," I feel a push against my back. I stumble forward and catch up with Rob. Eric is walking behind us. His eyes keep following me. What is this guy's problem? I didn't insult him or publicly humiliate him, so what is his deal? Can't he go back to talking with Four? Although I don't think these guys are friends. They barely said a word to each other and when they do, it's short and snappy.

The next place we go is the dining hall. I smell meat cooking and it smells good. Four tells us to eat, after that he'll show us to our sleeping quarters. I am rather tired. The day has been pretty eventful. I could use a good night rest. Tomorrow will probably be hell.

Rob and I sit along with the other transfer initiates. The Dauntless initiates are spread across the room. They are talking to older Dauntless members. Maybe their parents. I wonder what mine are doing right now.

"Hey I am Rob and this is Andy," Rob introduces us to the Candor initiates. Rob is a friendly guy. He smiles a lot and doesn't seem to be afraid of conversation. The Candor initiates aren't as bad as I thought they would be. Kim, Marnie, Victor, Lucas and Marc used to be in most of my classes, but I have never talked to them before. Kim and Marnie were always together. They probably discussed coming here together. Victor and Lucas are twins and they became friends with Marc on the train. They helped each other get on it apparently.

How nice for them that they didn't get stuck with a Dauntless leader.

"I can't wait for tomorrow. I am so curious to what we will learn," Marnie says excited and Kim agrees. They seem to be easy to talk to. Rob and Marc enter their conversation. The twins are looking around and whispering to each other. They seem to be really close. I guess that's normal for twins. I wouldn't really know. I never met twins before.

"I hope we get to work with weapons," Kim says and I focus my attention on the conversation.

"That would be so cool. I chose Dauntless because of that. Candor is just too boring. We never do anything that get's your blood pumping," Marc agrees and Marnie follows: "Yes, I haven't even run that much in my life. I don't think I can sleep tonight. I want it to be morning so badly."

"Why?" I ask and everyone looks at me. Great, not really what I was going for. I just wanted to pretend to be part of the conversation. Saying yes and knotting my head, but nothing more. The look in everyone's eyes affirmed that they wanted an explanation: "We will probably be begging for our beds tomorrow at noon. I am betting we will have to get up early, do a lot of running because that builds up stamina. When we can't run anymore, they will make us work on fighting poses or teach us how to work with weapons. But I can practically guarantee you that you will be glad to see your bed tomorrow because it means you can stop working out. Oh and every muscle in your body will probably be hurting a lot."

My new friends don't know what to say to that and just stare at me. Great, I said something wrong. I notice a look in Marie and Victor's eye. They were looking at someone behind me. I didn't need to turn around to figure out who it was.

"You got that right initiate. You will beg for your beds tomorrow and even when you sleep, your bodies will be in pain. Believe me when I say that all I will be in every single one of your dreams tomorrow," Eric's voice comes from behind me. I can tell by the look of everyone's face that they don't know how to comment on that either.

"Great, maybe I should have chosen another faction then," I sigh and let my arms drop beside my body. I don't turn around to look at Eric. The comments that are currently flowing thru my head aren't very nice. I thought I said something about being nice to the Dauntless leader standing behind me.

"Getting scared initiates? Don't tell me I should have just left you on the platform," Eric says. I can tell by his voice he is feeling very superior. The looks on my friends faces is probably feeding that feeling.

"Oh no, thanks again for helping me. I was just referring to seeing you in my dreams. It just sounds horrifying. I mean who would want to see your face in their dreams?" I say and put a piece of meat in my mouth. I really need to keep my big fat gob shut. This man can break my skull with one hand. I think the filter that goes between a persons brain and his mouth, doesn't work with me. I think I might have broken it some time ago.

"Eric, Max is looking for you. He needs you, now," Four walks up to us. There is actually a god out there? Those Abnegation people were on to something. What else could have explained this spectacular saving? I kept my eyes focused on my plate. Feeling Eric's angry eyes on my tiny body is more than enough. I think he might be able to break a person with just his eyes. Slowly the huge man leaves our table. He doesn't say anything and the farther he walks away, the bigger the smile on my face becomes. My friends start breathing again when Eric's body leaves the dining hall. I feel myself relax.

"Are you crazy? Do you want him to kill you?"

"I can't believe you just said that to Eric, a Dauntless leader!"

"That was awesome."

"He's so going to kill you tomorrow."

I wasn't sure what kind of response I was hoping to hear from my new friends. I guess I would have to do with these. I found myself very content with them actually. Some warned me for Eric, while others thought it was cool. I wasn't sure what I thought about my own behavior. Still it was nice to be appreciated. I guess this way I can prove to people I'm not some weak little girl. I can stand up for myself and people should take me serious.

After dinner Four shows us to our sleeping quarters or should I say sleeping room. All the Dauntless transfer initiates sleep together. There are eight beds: "We didn't expect some many of you to make it to the compound. Usually we lose a few initiates on the road. Two will come with me to find some extra beds."

Rob and I get beds at the end of the row. I sleep against the wall. I don't feel comfortable sleeping with so many strangers in the same room. Showering and going to the toilet is going to be interesting.

Four explains how the next couple of days will look like. As I suspected I am not completely in with the Dauntless yet. We have to prove our worth. I will have to work really hard. What do I have to offer these people? My brain and that's not even special.

Like I mentioned before. I am very plain. And not just in looks.

"Hey Andy, looks like your friend hasn't made it back to show us around," Marnie whispers to me. I can only imagine she's talking about Eric. A smirk covers my face. I'm still walking on a cloud because of my comment. The Candor initiates seem to like me for my little stunt. Even the twins seem to be a bit more open towards me now. Lucas actually said something to me.

"I will probably pay tomorrow for my comment. You heard Four. He and Eric over see our training, so I am doomed," I say and lay down on my new bed. The mattress is very hard. And when I say very hard, I mean extremely hard. I don't think I'm going to sleep a lot tonight.

"Yes, I think you should watch out tomorrow," Kim warns me. She seems to be the most sensible one of our new little group. When Eric left, she was the one who told me I shouldn't have said that: "I have been trying that ever since I choice Dauntless. I'm not really good at filtering my thoughts."

"We can tell, "Rob says, while making his bed.

I can't find the energy to get up and make my bed. I fall asleep pretty fast. I guess even the crappy mattress can't keep the sleep away. The day was exhausting and tomorrow promises to be worst.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

"Wake up initiates!" A stern voice wakes us up the next day. My mind isn't functioning properly yet, so I can't make out whom the voice belongs to. I know I should get up, but I can't' bring myself to actually get up. I turn my head and try to get five more minutes of extra sleep.

But that was apparently too much to ask. I hear Rob saying something, but he stops midsentence and my foggy mind can't understand what the first part was what he said. I only heard my name. Maybe I should get up. I want to push myself up and leave my warm cocoon of blankets. How nice! Someone gave me one during the night. But suddenly all sleepy thoughts that were left in my foggy mind were gone, as cold water comes crashing on my head. I can hear people laugh, while I shiver from the water. My hair clings to my face and my clothes are soaking wet.

Damn it! Who…

I look up and suddenly the cold water makes perfect sense. Eric is standing next to my bed, with a very big smile on his face. He seems very happy and kind of creepy. One hand is holding an empty bucket, while the other leans against the wall. I can see Rob standing behind him, sending me a sorry look. That's what he wanted to say. He wanted to warn me. That's really nice of him! I didn't expect anyone to want to stand up against Eric.

He is only two times all our sizes. Its ridicules how big this man is.

"Wake up sleeping beauty," Eric's voice pulls my attention away from his arms. Wow, they are big. This man is actually making me feel small, almost insignificant. Well I can't let him think that he's won this round. Maybe I should let him win. Bite your tongue Andy, please bite it!

"Ha! I was right, you really aren't something I would want to see in my dreams. I mean the sight of you in the morning is bad enough," I say and get up, not carrying that my clothes are sticking to my body. If I was wearing a white shirt I might have cared more.

I could see Rob, Marnie, Victor, Lucas and Marc all biting their lips and turning around so that Eric wouldn't see them laugh. Even Four has a smile covering his face, one he couldn't get rid of when Eric walked past him: "You have five minutes! If you are not in the training room by then, don't bother showing up!"

"You have some kind of death wish?" Four asks me before walking away. I smile and lift my shoulders: "No it's just how I flirt with guys. Do you think its working?"

I should really learn to keep my stupid mouth shut. I think the Dauntless way of life is already rubbing off on me. I never had a big mouth in Erudite. Then again, those people didn't engage in such conversation, while Eric makes it too easy.

I have to hurry to make it on time to the training room. Luckily Lucas, Rob and Kim paid attention yesterday and remembered how to get there. Kim and Marnie had lent me some clothes. They went yesterday to find Dauntless clothes and brought some with them for me. These people are so nice! It's weird. It feels good not wearing blue anymore. Black is the new me. I kept it simple though: black knee shorts and a black t-shirt.

Michael, Sarah and the other Amity girl, Annie, are already in the training room. Michael is checking the room out, like a true Erudite. Sarah and Annie are talking. My old Erudite companions keep giving me dirty looks. What's their problem?

"The first thing you will learn is how to use a gun. The second thing is how to win a fight. Thankfully, if you are here, you already know how to jump on and off a moving train, so I don't have to teach you that," Four explains. He hands out guns, while the guy's help Eric set up the targets. I try my best at standing as far away as possible from him. That might piss him off less.

Maybe I should practice some more on jumping on and of a moving train, considering I didn't get on the train by myself. I can tell that Michael wants to say something sarcastic about that, but Four beets him to it: "Well maybe I should work with Andy on that some more."

He's a cheeky little bastered isn't he? The others laugh and Sarah sends me some evil smirk. Whatever, it was the Abnegation inside me that made me help Rob. I notice that Rob is the only who isn't laughing. I can sense Eric wants to add a snide comment, so I beat him to it: "What! With you? I was aiming to practice some more with big guns over there. What are you going to do if I don't make it? Look at you. You are almost as skinny as I am."

"Andy, shut it!" Kim warns me while the others laugh. Four smirks, but doesn't give me a comment back. He doesn't seem to mind my comment. Looks like he can laugh about himself. This could turn out to be a lot of fun.

When I referred to Eric as big guns, I looked at him and gave him a smirk. He seemed perplexed for a moment at my bold comment, but he doesn't say anything about it. Maybe he won't hate me as much now that I have also made some funny comment about Four.

Let's hope.

"Initiation is divided in three stages. We will measure your progress and rank you according to your performances in each stage. The stages are not weighed equally in determining your final rank, so it is possible, though difficult, to drastically improve your rank over time," Four graphs everyone's attention. I turn back at him and try to let go of the small amount of pride rising in my stomach. Pride that makes me very bold in my word chose.

The gun I am holding is pretty big. The safety handle is still on. Maybe that's a smart thing. I'm not sure if me holding a gun is a good combination. I think I am possible of shooting myself in the foot or something. I should probably practice a lot with this machine. I am not a precise person, my Erudite teachers always told me that and that's probably a very important skill, when one wants to fire a gun at a target.

"The Dauntless believe that preparation eradicates cowardice, which we define as the failure to act in midst of fear," Eric explains, standing next to a target. He sounds quite smart when he is using big words: "Therefore each stage of initiation is intended to prepare you in a different way. The first stage is primarily physical, the second is primarily emotional and the third is mental training," Eric continues, while graphing a gun and placing himself in front of a target. He shoots practically without any effort and hits the center of the target.

Excitement fills me. I want to learn how to do that!

"What does firing a gun have to do with bravery?" Michael asks. I find it rather obvious. A gun is a weapon that can save your life, when you are faced with a threatening situation. Especially if you are not good with hand to hand combat. Sometimes Michael can surprise me with his questions. I really thought he was one of the smartest children of our class.

It happens so fast, that my mind can't follow Eric's actions. One minute he is standing where he fired his gun at the target and the next minute his gun is pressed against Michaels head, a bullet clicked into place: "Because you are less likely to soil your pants and cry for your mother if you're prepared to defend yourself." A cruel smile hangs on Eric's lips. He enjoys the look in Michael's eyes. I secretly do too. Michael looks like he is about to do exactly that what Eric warned him for.

Four shows us how to fire a gun. How to hold the gun and how to place our feet. It looks easy, but I bet it's not. We get a set of bullets and are allowed to practice, while Eric and Four watch us. The first time firing the gun is weird. I wasn't holding the weapon correct and the gun jerked upwards. I wasn't the only one who made that mistake. Rob, Lucas, Victor and Kim are quick learners. They don't hit the target yet, but at least they hit the wood near the target. Marnie and I are less lucky.

As I suspected, my aim is really bad. I try to aim at the target, but I keep missing it. And I miss it badly. Marnie at least hits the wood sometimes. Sarah and Michael look like they are naturals with their guns. How the hell did they get so good? Have they done this before? They hit their targets every time, sometimes even right in the middle or in the head. They aren't the only once doing a good job. Marc also seems to be a natural. Maybe I can ask him to help me later. The last initiate, Annie, is not bad with her gun. She doesn't hit her target every time, but she's as horrible as I am.

Oh great, I'm really bad at this. I'm the idiot with the big mouth, but I can't aim at all.

Eric is watching Sarah, Michael, Annie and Marc, the once doing a good job. Four is walking around me and Marnie mostly, giving pointers. I try to listen to him, but it's not helping me. Marnie is starting to get better, but I keep missing. This is really frustrating!

Damn it! Why can't I at least hit the wood? That would be at least some form of progress.

"Don't sweat it Andy, I'll help you out with this so you'll get the hang of it," Rob tries to reassure me, but it doesn't help. I don't want him to help me, I want to learn this on my own. I am smart, why can't I figure this out? I am aiming at the target, why is my bullet not hitting it?

Damn, Eric is coming this way! I really don't want him to see how much I suck at this. He'll mock me for it. Four at least's tries to help.

"What's the matter initiate? Not as good with a gun as you are with your mouth?" he taunts me and I really want to give him a snide comment, but I manage to bite my tongue. I keep my eyes focused on the target and focus. I want to get this. I want to hit the damn target! Why am I not hitting it!

Eris doesn't move and a thought crossed my mind. I don't want this guy's help. He already helped me one time to many. I am thankful for it, but that doesn't mean I want his help with this. The train was different. I needed help or I would become factionless. This gun situation is something I can figure out on my own.

I can tell Eric is about to say something. Maybe he wanted to mock me again or help me, but that didn't matter to me. I lower my gun and reload it. I don't take my eyes of it: "I'll figure it out on my own." After that I turn back to the target and try again. I really don't want him to think I need his help for everything. From Four I can accept it, but this guy is a Dauntless leader and I'm not going to be some weakling in front of him. Eric walks past me, towards the other initiates. I count my blessing that he doesn't say anything, until his breath hits my neck: "Straighten your back initiate. It might help."

Just as quick as his lips were next to my ear, they were gone. I had barely time to register his chest against my back. I don't let my body react and just do as he says, my eyes following his back for a split second. After that I focus on the target again. Stay calm Andy, unleash your breath at the same time you pull the trigger. Keep your arms steady and pull the trigger. The bullet leaves the gun and my hands keep it steady.

Damn it, his advice helped!

The bullet hit the target, barely. Still, I hit it.

And it frustrated me a lot that I hit it because of his advice. I try not to give him the satisfaction of looking at him, because I know he kept watching me from behind. Don't look at him Andy, don't give him the satisfaction.

My eyes cross his for spilt second and a smirk crosses his face.

Damn it Andy!


	7. Chapter 7

**I am looking for a Beta! Anyone interested? **

**I don't own Divergent, I only own my OC's**

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**Chapter 7**

By the time we break for lunch, my arms are throbbing from holding the gun and my fingers are hard to straighten. I massage them on my way to the dining hall. I follow behind the others, who are laughing and talking about how good they are with guns. It's a bit annoying, but I don't want to be openly jealous. It's bad enough that I am feeling extremely jealous on the inside. Especially of Rob. He couldn't catch the train without my help, but he's some natural while firing a gun. My brain is frustrating me. It's a good thing we are going to get psychical in the afternoon. It will help with blowing of steam.

"What's eating you up Andy?" Marnie asks me while we're filling our plates. The others are already sitting down and laughing about some joke Victor made. Apparently that guy can crake up jokes, unlike his quite little brother Lucas: "You're not getting depressed about the shooting practice right. We still have a lot of practice, so I'm sure you'll get the hang of it."

"Oh I wasn't thinking about that. I was already thinking about practicing some extra tonight or tomorrow. I can use it," I explain. I wasn't all that worried about the tests. My strength has to lie somewhere else. You can't be good at everything, right?

"Then what's wrong," Marnie asks again and we sit down next to Kim and Lucas. I noticed that he doesn't take part in the conversations, like me. Maybe he's some outsider too, who likes to be part of the background: "That damn big gunned trainer of ours. He should have let me figure it out on my own."

"Oh that's your problem," Marnie laughs a bit and rolls her eyes. She doesn't understand. It's about the principal of learning something on your own and taking pride in that. I like solving problems on my own, because it makes me smarter. I can adapt quicker that way. If people always tell me what I am doing wrong, I don't really learn anything.

And then there's the thing that it's Eric. For some reason I didn't mind Four's help. That's probably because I like him more and he wasn't the Dauntless leader who helped me on that damn train. I really can't let that go, can I?

"I agree, what did you learn now? You hit the target, but you can't take any pride in it because Eric told you what you did wrong," Lucas says. His voice is very deep and it's kind of weird, because he's so young. His brother's voice isn't that deep. It's nice that he agrees with me. Marnie thinks about what he said and tried to see our point of view: "Okay maybe that's true, but you can't learn everything on your own. You only have a few days, you shouldn't waist time on figuring what you're doing wrong and try to get as good as possible, as quickly as possible."

"Yeah Andy, we only have a limited time to prove ourselves towards these guys," Rob joins our conversation, his mouth filled with meat. It's disgusting to watch: "But that's the problem. What have I proven so far? I needed help to get on the train and I needed help with firing a gun. And both times it was the same guy who helped me. And sadly that's not just any guy, but he's a Dauntless leader. If I keep getting help, I'll look like a weakling and never get passed initiation."

"Why do you care about that? I mean every time you open your mouth to him, it's to say something mean or sarcastic. I didn't think you cared about stuff like that," Rob asked me. He talks like he knows me, when in reality he knows me for a day. Lucas seems to see my side of the story: "That's different. It's verbal sparring and she obviously gets a kick out of that, especially when the other person answers back. This is about taking pride of your own accomplishments."

"What he said," I say jokingly, trying to lighten the mood. During our conversation it got a bit strained. It doesn't matter to me that Marnie and Rob don't understand me, but I don't want to end up in some kind of discussion over it.

"Yeah, what's with all this heavy and deep talk? Let's talk about something a lot more important, like who's up for getting tattoos tonight," Victor asks and the others agree immediately. Only Kim and Lucas don't seem excited to get tattoos. I don't want one either. Not yet anyway. I want one when I achieved something. When I proved I could do something. I want my tattoos to have a meaning, not just be a symbol of me being part of this faction.

Plus, I'm not sure yet that I get to stay. Maybe I'll be factionless in a few weeks and then that tattoo will look stupid. It would be a reminder of my failure.

I wonder what my parents would say about me getting a tattoo. I don't think they would like it. In fact, they would probably scold me for getting gone. Hygiene and stuff like that. Marie would agree with them. She is so much like mom and dad. The perfect combination of both. I'm more like my grandmother. I wonder if she ever had any tattoos, considering she's from Dauntless.

"I'm going to skip. I can use the extra practice if I want to beat all of you next time," I say jokingly and get up. Time for the next training. I'm kind of pumped for it. I want to see what I am made of when it comes to physical training.

I regret those thoughts three hours later, when I am dying from exhaustion. But I'm not the only one. Everyone is practically dead. I don't think the others are going to go to the tattoo place and I will probably not be able to get some extra practice.

The room we are training in is huge, with a wood floor that is cracked and creaky and has a large circle painted in the middle. On the right side there is a chalkboard. Our names are written on it. We will probably be grated on that. The best initiates on top and the ones who aren't worthy will stand below the red line. Tomorrow they will put our names in order of how good we are. I need to prove that I don't belong beneath the red line.

Training began with running, a lot of running. Like I said yesterday, it's the best way to build up stamina. I understand that, but it doesn't mean I like it. I can keep up with the top three initiates, who are Michael, Victor and Lucas. I am secretly pleased to see that Rob is behind me. It's a very selfish thought of me.

See, I don't belong in Abnegation.

After running, Four showed us some fighting techniques. I practice with Lucas. We are pretty equally leveled. He is stronger, but I am faster. We are a good match and I feel eager to push myself to get better.

The others aren't doing a bad job either. Well, Annie and Rob are maybe not a good match. They know each other from Amity and are very awkward around one another. Annie is weak and she's afraid to hurt Rob. He is dealing with the same problems. He is insecure and his posture is all wrong.

"You think those two have feelings for each other and that's the reason they are basically dancing around each other," I ask Lucas, while trying to punch him in the face. We made a deal. The first one to punch to other in the face wins and gets the glory of it. He graphs my arms and holds them behind my back. I can't get lose. He takes a look at Rob and Annie: "Probably."

"Maybe we should switch partners. You take Rob, I'll take Annie," I suggest and Lucas thinks it over. Rob and Annie aren't learning anything because of their stupid puppy love dog dance. We want to approach them when Eric walks in. He had some business to take care of and left training us to Four.

"He seems to be in a foul mood," Lucas whispers in my ear and I agree. His eyes are sending daggers to everyone who meets his eyes. It's probably stupidity that makes me meet his eyes. The others were smart enough to look away or pretend that they hadn't seen him enter the training room. I should have known better, but it seemed stupid to avoid his eyes.

His eyes are cold. He is really angry. Why? What did his business involve? A shiver goes down my spine and his eyes hold mine for a second too long.

He walks up to Four and they discus something in low voices. We aren't supposed to hear what they are talking about. My eyes cross with Kim and Marnie. We signal each other to get back to work. I turn to Lucas and we forget about Rob and Annie and start practicing again. The others follow shortly after.

I have a hard time keeping up with Lucas. My eyes keep wandering towards Eric and Four. What are they talking about? What's got Eric so on edge? He doesn't seem relaxed? His shoulders are rigged. It doesn't look natural on him. He's Eric, the big bad ass Dauntless leader, with arms as big as my head.

Lucas notices my attention is lessening and finds an opening to punch me in the face. The blow sends me back and I fall on my back. Damn it, Andy! Pay attention to what is really important. Lucas is beating you! You really want that to happen?

I shake all thoughts from my head and take Lucas his hand. We start again. I let go of my previous thoughts and focus on beating Lucas. I want to win and he's a tough opponent. I forget about the piercing gray eyes that follow my movements.

"Alright, gather around," Four calls us at the end of the day. Eric didn't stay during training. Apparently he left shortly after Lucas and I started training again. I didn't notice when he left. I was too much focused on finding an opening in Lucas his defense. At the end of the day, I have to admit that he's better than me. He is stronger and he is a quick thinker. He was able to win every round, but he kept me motivated to try again.

I can learn a lot from this guy.

Everyone was tired and cranky. It's going to be a bloodbath to decide who gets to shower first, considering we only have two showers. I am so willing to kick someone's ass just to be able to shower faster.

"That's it for today. Starting tomorrow you will fight each other. Winning get's you more points, losing makes you lose points. I suggest you get a good night's sleep and shower. You all stink," Four dismisses us and I find some last energy to laugh at his joke. He seems pleased with our progress.

Marc, Victor, Lucas and Michael look at each other for a split second and then start running. They are probably fighting over the showers. I start walking slowly and might I ad painfully towards our sleeping quarters, when Four calls my name: "What?"

He doesn't look at me, just waves a black gun and places it on top of a closet. Did he just give me an okay to come and practice here on my own? How did he even know? Maybe it wasn't that hard to figure out. Maybe someone told him? I'll shower and eat first. Then I'll come back for some extra practice.

When I reached my room, the showers were occupied by Michael and Marc. Kim, Marnie and Victor were sitting on the ground in the middle of the room, telling jokes. Where do they find the energy to even laugh? I feel so dead at the moment. Annie and Sarah are lying on their bed, resting. I think Sarah is even asleep, judging by how calm she looks. It's weird for me to see her like this. On school she always seemed to be in control of every situation, but now she looks like she gave up. I guess that's what Dauntless training does to you.

"Hey Andy, I'm going to look for clothes. You wane join me?" Rob asks me. I had forgotten about that. I only got this set of clothes from Kim and Marnie: "But we smell horrible: "Yeah, I don't want people to smell me like this!"

"Oh shut up! You can tell everyone it's my stench," Rob jokes and he slings his arm around my neck, pushing my nose towards his sweaty armpit. I punch him in his stomach, to get him to release me: "Disgusting! You smell awful!"

"You don't smell like sunshine and daisy either princess," he jokes while we walk towards the pit. Something is going on. The Dauntless were running everywhere, preparing for something. I saw Max, another Dauntless leader giving orders to other people. A lot of men and woman were running towards the entrance of the compound: "What do you think is going on?"

"I don't know, but it's kind of exciting," Rob says, looking eagerly around himself. He's starting to fit in here. I wouldn't be surprised if he turns out to be some kind of adrenaline junkie. He only needed time to adapt to the way of the Dauntless: "Yeah, kind of."

At the end of the hall, we see Eric and Four joining the group. Both are carrying guns. It must be something serious. They don't notice us and leave the compound. We aren't allowed to leave without supervision. It sucks. I wouldn't mind practicing on getting on the train on my own, but I'll have to find some way to do it behind Four and Eric their backs.

We walk passed Lauren, the Dauntless born initiates supervisor. She is also joining the group outside. She is talking to someone, but I can't make out what they are saying. The only two words I can understand are factionless and Erudite. Rob didn't hear it and he walks to the place Kim told us to go to. It's a store, but they give old cloths away to the initiates for free. None of us have money. We are basically free loading on Dauntless their back.

Lauren her words keep haunting my mind while I search for clothes. I don't listen to what Rob is telling me. Are the factionless attacking Erudite? Are mom and dad okay? What about Marie? Is she safe? Where did the factionless attack? It's been so long since they have done that. Why are they doing it now? Did the Erudite do something? I know they are trying to stop the Abnegation from giving food and clothes to the factionless. Maybe they found out?

"Hey Andy! Stop spacing out on me, will you," Rob punches my arm and I stiffen. I am starting to space out a lot lately, aren't I? I smile apologetic towards Rob and look at the cloths he's holding up: "What do you think?"

"Looks good. I'll just take these shorts and t-shirts," I say and thank the store lady for giving us the cloths for free. I had taken some black, knee shorts and black t-shirts. Simple. It's not like I'm going to do anything other than sweat or sleep in them.

On our way back to our sleeping quarters I try to keep my attention focused on what Rob is telling me, but I keep turning my ears towards Dauntless men and woman, running passed us. I try to pick up new information, but I can't understand anything because of Rob's talking. I gave up after awhile, but a nasty feeling stayed present inside the pit of my stomach.

I hope my family is safe.


	8. Chapter 8

**I don't own Divergent, I only own my OC's**

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**Chapter 8**

When Rob and I had dropped our clothes of at our room, we went to the dining hall. We were doomed to be the last once to be able to shower. So we decided to get some food first. I hadn't realized how starved I was when I sat down with a full plate of food in front of me. It tasted really good.

I was the last one to shower and when I was done, everyone was gone. I was alone in our room. I had told them I was going to practice some more. They all wanted to get tattoos and piercings. I wonder what they will all have when they get back and show me.

My blanket was still wet from my morning surprise from Eric. I had it spread across my bed, hoping it will be dry when I get back. If it's not dry, I'll just have to sleep without one and hope that's it's not too cold tonight. How can it be? We sleep with ten in this room? It's practically a sauna in here at night.

I put on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, my grandmothers necklace hanging around my neck. It's the only possession I had taken with me from home. This morning I had left it here, beneath my pillow. It would get in the way during practice and I didn't want to risk losing it. A silver chain holds the ring. It's plain gold. I don't know how my grandfather got a golden ring. My parents have rings, but they are really simple and cheep silver. I heard that a long time ago wedding rings were expensive and woman would brag about theirs. A lot of woman even expected a diamond ring. These days' people don't care about that stuff anymore. I never understood why a ring would be the symbol of love. What does it matter if you wear a ring around your finger when you are married? Marriage doesn't change you. At least that's what I think. I mean, okay you decide to stay with the same person for the rest of your life and you have children together, but that's it. It doesn't change your inner core.

Love is weird.

On my way towards the training room, I notice that the halls are calmer. The Dauntless aren't running around anymore or gathering at the compounds entrance. I guess they all have left or the problems are taken care of. I want to ask someone for more information. The Erudite inside me wants answer and the Candor inside me wants the truth.

I have never met a factionless person. My parents always told me to stay away from them. They are dangerous. Why are people who are different always described as dangerous? Factionless are dangerous. Divergents are dangerous. I bet that whatever is outside the fence that surrounds the city is also dangerous. People seem to fear things they don't understand. What is the difference between a man who is Dauntless and a man who is factionless? Aren't they the same, except for where they life? At one point that factionless man was part of a faction.

What's so scary about them?

And for that matter, what's so terrifying about the divergent? I hate that I can't find any answers to my questions, because I can't ask anyone for help. Maybe I can find that Abnegation woman again, some day. Maybe she can explain things to me. If I ever find her again.

I reach the training room and close the door behind me. I don't need anyone disturbing me. I just want to practice on my own and not get help from stupid Dauntless leaders with big arms. I probably shouldn't call him stupid.

The gun that Four had hidden for me was still lying on top of the closet. A small box standing next to it, filled with bullets. I remember where Four got the protection for eyes and ears and put them on. There's no point in getting a headache because of some practice. The targets are storied away in the back of the room. I graphed one and place it in the middle of the room. I load the gun and take my stand like Four taught me: feet apart, both hands holding the gun (one to aim, one to support), shoulders back and relaxed...

"_Straiten your back initiate. It might help_."

There is no point in getting annoyed by it now Andy, just do it. I do as Eric told me and aimed at the target. I take slow breaths and hold the gun steady. I release my breath when I pull the trigger. The bullet hits the wood. At least I'm hitting something. That's step one. Now we try and hit the damn target. Maybe I should just imagine its Eric's stupid big head. That might help. I snicker at the thought and try to focus after that again.

I keep hitting the wood and my bullets are starting to get closer to the target, but it's going to slow to my liking. It's frustrating me. Why won't this work? Why can't I aim properly, like the others! My mind starts becoming a storm and I can't make out anymore what I am thinking about, while I shoot at the target, again and again and again.

Dauntless, factionless, Divergent, Erudite, Candor, Abnegation, Eric, train, gun, shooting, aiming…

Words that tick me of start swirling around my mind and I can't focus anymore. Why am I Divergent? What does that mean? Why do people fear me? Why can't I tell my parents? What's happening in Erudite with the factionless? Why did that stupid boneheaded Eric help me? He should just back of and let my try on my own! Why can't I hit the target? What's so freaking hard about aiming a gun!

Click!

My gun is empty. I hadn't realized that I had shot all my bullets. I lower the protection glasses and look at the target. I can't remember trying to aim at it. I just got angry and started shooting. And apparently that helped. All my bullets hit the target and my body felt very relaxed at the moment. All the stress from the last couple of days left my body with those bullets.

A smile covered my face. I reloaded my gun and tried again. Do I need to just get angry and shoot? Think about stuff that makes your blood boil Andy. Like being Divergent. I pull the trigger and the bullet hits the target. What about the factionless attacking the Erudite? My old home? I pull the trigger and the bullet hits the target again. What will become of me if I fall initiations? Will I become factionless? My bullet hits the center of the head of the target. What if someone finds out that I am Divergent? That I got multiple scores on my aptitude test? My bullet hits the spot where the hearts is supposed to be.

That's the trick? Get angry and focus my anger on my bullets. It seemed to calm me down. My mind isn't a storm anymore and I can think clearly again. I could ask Four about the attack. I can admit that I heard Lauren say those words and that I was worried for my family. He might just be able to understand that.

As for me being a Divergent. Well, I don't know what to do about that, so I should just focus on becoming part of Dauntless. After that I can go out and find that Abnegation woman. It's a good plan, simple but good. Everything about me is simple, so a simple plan should work. I lower my gun and my shoulders relax. A laugh escapes my mouth. I did it! I found a way to make this work for me! And I did it on my own! No help from Eric. I'll show everyone tomorrow.

"Not bad initiate," a voice pulls me back to the present, to the training room and to the man standing behind me. I was so stuck inside my own head, that I hadn't heard someone open the door and I hadn't notice them walking towards me.

I turn my head and see Eric standing behind me. When did he get back? He looks tired and he has blood on his cloths and a smear in his face. He killed someone, didn't he? I hadn't thought about that before. The Dauntless are the killers among our society. Not because they want to, but because they have to protect us and sometimes they have to kill someone to protect the peace.

Would I be able to kill someone? I'm not sure. Maybe if they were attacking me and there wasn't any other option. I would never be able to look my family in the eye again though. When I chose Dauntless, I didn't think about this, although I should have. It's a logic possibility. Why didn't I think about that? Maybe I didn't want to think about killing someone. Not everyone in this fraction is a killer by the way.

Eric notices I'm looking at the blood. He wants to say something, but I beat him to it. I say the first thing that comes to my mind: "You stink. You need a shower!"

It wasn't the answer he was expecting. He snickers and takes his jacket off. He throws it on the ground and takes a better look at the target: "So what's the trick? Everyone has one. Most people just need to drown all the noise out, what's your secret?"

"I imagined your lovely face and I hit the target every single time," I answer sarcastically and take of the ear protection and collect my stuff. I should leave it back where Four left it for me. I'm not sure Eric would have allowed me to practice here. I don't want Four to get into trouble over me.

"You're a funny one aren't you," Eric asks me and takes the gun that was hanging from his belt. Is he going to kill me? Andy, please, why would he do that? Maybe because I have this habit of making this man angry. I really have a talent for it.

Eric knows what I am thinking. I try not to back down, but his towering figure isn't making it easy. He takes a step closer and there isn't much space left between us. What is his problem? I will not take a step back. I try to give the man my most neutral look, but I can tell he finds me entertaining. My heart starts beating faster.

Eric lifts his hand and without looking fires at the target. His bullet hit the center of the target. I try not to show that I'm impressed (even though I am extremely impressed). I look at the target. Damn it! His face is really close when he speaks again: "Don't think that just because you can hit the target you are good with a gun, initiate."

He walks away after that. I can feel rage trying to find a way out and I really want to throw my gun at his stupid big head, but I restrain myself from doing so. While walking away, Eric hangs his gun back at his belt and he graphs his jacket. At the door he turns around and his eyes tell me he's being serious: "And drop your wise ass comments or you will find yourself becoming factionless a lot faster than planned."

Right before he closes the door behind him, I answer him: "No promises."


	9. Chapter 9

**I don't own Divergent, I only own my OC's**

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**Chapter 9**

The next morning I get up early to run around the compound. I could use the extra training. I was the last one in bed yesterday. After my little encounter with Eric, I staid to practice on my fighting technique. I needed to blow off steam. I was secretly pleased that I had managed to control myself and that I hadn't thrown my gun at his head. But he was right. I hit the target yesterday, who knows what I'll do today, when everyone will be watching me. Can I hit it again?

I wasn't the only one getting up earlier. Lucas walks out of the shower when I'm about to leave. Why did he shower this early? He hasn't even done anything yet: "Where are you going?"

"Running, you want to join me," I ask him and wait at the door as he get's ready. We start at a calm pace, letting our muscles warm up. Running helps with exploring this place. There are still many hallways I can get lost in and I only know my way to the pit from our sleeping quarters and the training room. This is a good way of learning my way around.

"So how was your evening yesterday," Lucas asked me, while we run across the pit. It's good we got up this early, there is barely anyone up at this hour. All the shops are still closed and there is no one in the dining hall. I can't believe I'm running on an empty stomach: "Nothing much, just practiced. I found a way of hitting the target."

"Really, that's great," Lucas says and we pick up the pace. We aren't going to get better by running at a slow pace: "Yeah, I just need to get angry. Apparently that helps me focus better. It was a great way of releasing stress too. After that I trained some more in fighting technics. You won't know what'll hit you today."

"I'm looking forward to the fighting. I wonder how good I really am. I know I am better than you, but what about the rest," Lucas says, avoiding my fist. He's right. How good am I really? I know Lucas is better than me, but what about the test. I know I can beat Rob and Annie, but what about the others. Maybe they're all better than me. Only one way of finding out: "What did you guy's end up doing by the way? Did you get a tattoo?"

Lucas shakes his head: "I didn't, but the rest did. Even Kim. She doesn't like needles and Marnie took an hour to talk her into doing it. Victor and Marc also got piercings."

"Why didn't you get anything," I ask, curious. If everyone got one, why didn't he get one? Didn't his brother talk him into getting a tattoo or a piercing: "I'm not really into that stuff. Maybe if I make it into Dauntless I might get one, but I don't want more. What about you? How many are you getting?"

"After I get over my fear for needles, I'll probably get like twenty," I joke and we run up to the chasm. The water awaking the adrenaline junky inside me. I didn't know I had one. I should watch out with it. I don't want to end up dead because of it. You heard Four, Andy. People have died because they jumped into the chasm. There is no way you would survive it.

"No, maybe one or two. I don't want to get a tattoo because everyone is getting one. I want them to represent something to me, like achievements. So maybe I'll get my first one when I make it into Dauntless. It would look stupid if you got one and then become factionless. It would be a constant slap in the face, if you ask me," I explain and Lucas agrees: "I tried to talk my brother out of it, but he wouldn't listen. I think he already believes that he's a member of this faction."

We run for another forty minutes around the compound. After a while we discover a route we can run, without having to turn back in hallways with a dead end. Lucas is easy to talk too. We think a lot alike and have the same opinion about a few things like training, initiation, and the next stages of the training.

"It's going to be hard work, but I want to make it. I chose Dauntless because I feel they can offer me the most. Victor and I decided that we would choose separately. We didn't discuss our choses with each other. It was by accident that we both chose Dauntless," Lucas tells me. They didn't discuss it? I would have killed to have someone who I could talk to about choosing a faction. How did they do it, knowing that there was a big chance that they would be split up in the end? It must have been hard.

"Why did you choose Dauntless?" Lucas asks me and I have a hard time remembering why I actually chose this faction. I know I don't belong in Candor or Abnegation. Amity was a possibility, so was Erudite. Why did I choose this faction again? Was it the power they represent or the fun they always seem to have: "I just followed the aptitude test. I didn't know what to choose."

We stopped at the training room. Four and Eric are in it. They are fighting in the circle, in the middle of the floor. It seems that Lucas and I aren't the only ones who got up early. The two men didn't notice us walking in. We decide not to say anything and just watch. We didn't want to break their concentration. They seemed to be in deep concentration, focusing on nothing but each other.

Lucas and I graphed a bottle of water and watched them for few minutes, catching our own breaths. The two men were evenly matched. One being the stronger, the other being the faster. They remind me of the fight I had with Lucas yesterday. I paid extra attention to the way Four moved. I might learn something from him. He doesn't stand still for long. He tries to keep moving. It makes it hard for Eric to keep up, but he keeps a distance from him. He only comes close when he wants to punch Eric. The other man knows Four's plan and doesn't do what most people would do: attack blindly, with a lot of power. He stays calm and waits for Four to come closer and then puts all his strength into his punches. Eric uses mostly his arms, when Four also uses his legs, to get Eric on the ground.

The fight is fascinating to watch.

"Come on, watching them makes me want to kick your ass," Lucas says and he walks to the mats. They are meant to break our fall: "First one to punch the other in the face wins?"

"Deal," I answer and get ready. Lucas is like Eric, he has more strength and he stays in his circle. I am more like Four, light on my feet and quick. I should try to keep moving and get behind Lucas his back. It will be easier for me to punch him from that angle.

We start moving. Lucas stays inside his circle and I try to throw in punches as quickly as I can. I move around his circle and Lucas has a hard time keeping track with my footwork. But I can't seem to get to his face. I shouldn't focus on that too much on getting behind him. There are other ways for me to get to his face.

I saw some Dauntless girl once throw a man over her shoulder, by just graphing his arm. Maybe I can do that with Lucas. It's not like he's extremely heavy and speed will help me. Plus my own body would be supporting his completely. I should be able to do it.

I only need to find an opening.

I keep my eyes alert, trying to find an opening. I start throwing my kicks in quicker. Lucas can block them all and I'm not giving him time to throw in some punches of his own.

There it is!

His left arm is wide open. I graph it quickly and turn my back against his chest, pulling his frame over my shoulder. Lucas didn't know what to do. He hadn't seen that move coming. He falls on his back and before he knows what is going on, I punch him in his face.

This time I won.

My eyes meet Lucas' and he seems impressed. We are both out of breath and take a second to catch our breath. Then he smiles: "Guess you won this time."

"Yeah, this time," I say and offer him my hand. He takes it and gets up to his feet. He has a cheeky grin on his face and his jaw is turning red, with a small blue spot in the middle. I must have punched him a lot harder than I anticipated: "Don't count on it happening again Andy."

I laugh and then notice that we aren't the only once in the room anymore. Somewhere during our fight, Eric and Four stopped theirs or someone won and the other initiates had arrived in the training room. Marnie and Kim have smirks plastering their faces and Victor mocks his brother: "You lost to a girl? Brother, that's pathetic!"

"Alright, get started with your training!" Eric calls everyone attention. He's really not going to say anything about the fact I just won? Come on, it has to count for something. He just saw me win, on my bloody own!

The others gather around him, while he passes out guns. He doesn't say anything about the fight. I follow Lucas to the man and wait for him to give me my gun. Four walks past me: "Nice punch."

"Thanks," I say and smile at him. At least someone acknowledges the fight. Maybe I should put my money on Four. He seems to like me a lot more than Eric anyway.

I get pulled out of my thoughts when strong hands push a gun into mine. I look away from Four and my eyes focus on the gorilla standing in front of me. He doesn't say anything, but his eyes say enough.

What did I do this time?

"You get thirty minutes to practice with the guns. If you can't hit the target after that, than you probably never will. We will count how many times you hit the target. This will count for your evaluation," Eric explains. He's far too pleased with himself. What is he withholding from us? It's obvious from his posture.

"I would just give up, if I were you Caine," Michael whispers in my ear. His voice gives me the creeps. It always did. A very satisfying smirk was covering his face. He's just like Eric, creepy.

"Why do we only get thirty minutes?" Marc asks and Eric seems pleased someone asked him that question. He walks past us, with his back straight and his eyes narrow: "After that we go outside and you practice on moving targets. If you can't hit the target here, you won't be able to hit the target outside and you will fail this part of the test."

I knew he was withholding something. Moving targets? That's going to be a pain for me. It took me a while to get used to this target, that doesn't move. I'll never be able to hit those moving targets. I just need to focus on my anger and let that guide me. It helped you yesterday, so it will again today.

We started practicing again, but my head was like a jungle. Thoughts were everywhere and I couldn't focus on any of them. Divergent, Erudite, mom, dad, Marie, factionless… Stop thinking about everything, just pick one and focus on that. I try to focus on my aptitude test, but it isn't working. Why can't I hit the target anymore? I did it yesterday perfectly.

And that gorilla saw it. I bet he's enjoying this. If I can't hit the target here, I won't be allowed to go outside. I'll fail this part of the test and that means I can't make any mistakes in the physical tests. But I don't know how the other initiates are doing there. I should have paid better attention yesterday to the way they were practicing. Damn it, why didn't I watch them?

Why am I panicking? Andy, you need to calm down. My breath is hitching and I'm not releasing it when I should. Damn it Andy, do what Four told you to do. Let it go when you pull the trigger.

"You are to tense, relax," Four's voice pulls me away from my negative thoughts. His hands help me hold the gun steady and I feel his chest against my back. I feel his chest rising and try to breathe with him. I feel myself calm down. My mind starts to calm down as well and I can focus on single thoughts again. I try again to focus on my aptitude test and I hit the center of the target.

"See, there you go. You need to relax when you handle a gun," Four tells me quietly so the others don't hear. Not that they were paying any attention. Everyone wanted to hit their target, so that they would get extra points. They had other things to worry about: "Thanks."

I stand back in position when Four's body isn't pressed against mine again. I notice Sarah is having a hard time with hitting the target today. Maybe she can't handle the stress and that's affecting her ability to focus.

I forget about Sarah and turn my attention back to the target. I am able to hit it every single time. My thoughts are calm, but are focused on subjects that make me angry. Eric's stupid head popped in into my head a lot.

I am able to catch up to the others. I end up not having the lowest score. Lucas and Kim scored the most points. They are followed by Victor, Michael and Rob, than Marc and Marnie, me, Sarah and Annie. At least I hit the target and I'm not last. That means I can go outside. I'm still in the running.

The other training ground for shouting is on top of one of the buildings the Dauntless live under. We take the stairs. The roof is build especially for this kind of training. There is a low wall that we can't pass. Behind it there are several windows. They show a target one by one. The better you are, the faster the process goes and the more points you get.

I just need to figure out how the process works. The targets probably come in the same order or there is some sort of structure in it. I need to figure that out and then I'll be fine.

We go in turns of three, based on how well we did during the first test round. Meaning I go at the same time as Annie and Sarah. At least that means I won't look like a complete idiot.

I try my best and focus on the targets placed in front of me. I'm able to hit some of them. I don't pay attention to Annie and Sarah. I can sense Sarah is panicking and she keeps looking at me.

Just breathe and figure out the process, Andy. Use your strengths.

The program has four rounds that go after each other. Like a loop. They are fairly simple. I quickly figure out in what order the targets are shown and after a few tries, I am able to predict which target will be shown next. I can easy hit them. Sarah should have figured this out, but she's too preoccupied with watching me and freaking out. It's annoying and distracting.

"Stop looking at me and focus on the target. Any Erudite can figure this program out easily, so use your brains," I hiss at her. Only the people standing behind us can hear it. The girl is stunned for a second, but then does I told her. She is quicker than me at figuring the program out and she starts hitting the targets. Only Annie is not able to hit the targets.

And I don't know how to help her. She doesn't think like an Erudite. I feel bad for her. She's nicer that Sarah. Why did I help her anyway?

I feel Eric standing behind me, trying to intimate me, but I refuse to let it work. I am not going to freak out. I'm just going to focus on my family and what happened yesterday. I should ask Four about that after practice.

"Don't sweat it initiate, I'm sure you have other _talents_," Eric mocks Annie. The way he said _talents_ made my blood boil. Eric's words were having an effect on Annie. This man get's off on installing fear inside others. It's obvious that Annie is an easy target. She's nice, sweet and kind. Frankly I don't think she's Dauntless material, but this gorilla shouldn't mock her! She would never stand up for herself and he knows it!

"Yeah don't sweat it Annie. He's just getting scarred that we all end up better at this then he was," I tell Annie and I can see a small smile hovering on her lips. Eric sees it too: "Just drown his load mouth out, shouldn't be too hard. Nothing useful ever comes out of it anyway."

"I didn't ask you anything initiate, so keep quite!" Eric's voice is sharp and I can tell he is angry. I keep my eyes focused on my targets. I eye Annie that she can take mine. Sarah is confused and doesn't know what to do. She hesitates and Annie takes that as a sign that she can also take her targets. This way Annie is able to catch up with scores and she won't be completely last. This way she can prove what's she's worth. Eric will probably not notice it, but Four would.

"Sorry, I didn't hear you. Did you say something?" I say when I see that Annie is focused again. Sarah keeps quite and doesn't move, not sure what to do. The others are all holding their breath behind me. Kim is probably shaking her head and pleading with some higher power to make me shut up.

I feel a hand graph my shirt and I am lifted from the ground. My face is leveled with Eric's and for a second I'm convinced he would punch me in the face and blow me into _unconscious land_. He seems to be able to control himself and lowers his other hand.

"I advise you _strongly_, initiate, to keep your mouth shut. Wasn't last night's warning clear?" Eric threatened me. I hear the others whisper among each other. Rob and Lucas are standing behind Eric. Rob looks scared, but Lucas looks like he's ready to punch Eric with his gun.

The way Eric spoke was strained. He wanted to beat me, but that would just prove I got under his skin and that would make him look weak. And I doubt that Eric would want anyone to think that he is weak, especially a bunch on initiates.

"Apparently not," I snap at him. He is still holding me up by my t-shirt, my feet not able to touch the ground. He was about to say something again, but I beat him to it: "Back off from my friends!"

"Your friends?"

"Yes, my friends. What are you? Deaf?"

"What makes you think any of these people want to be your friend?"

"Because we have common enemy and that's you. And when someone attacks my friends, I bite back," I nearly spit in Eric's face.

"Maybe you should learn who's in charge here…" Eric's voice is dangerously slow as he talks, meaning he's about to break at any second and that will probably not look good for me. Even though I know this information, I can't help myself: "Apparently, because it clearly isn't you."

"Eric!" Four yells as Eric's fist is two inches away from my face. I can hear the others yell and hold their breath, but Eric's fist doesn't collide with my face. What is he doing? I had managed to keep my eyes open, somehow. I kept my eyes locked with his.

He releases me. I didn't expect it and my legs weren't capable of catching me. I land badly on my ankle. This isn't really a good time to strain that body part. I get up to my feet and put all my weight on my right foot. My hands balled in fists, turning white.

"Follow me," For some reason Eric seems perfectly calm. This isn't a good sign. I can't tell what he's thinking now. What is he going to do? Throw me out of Dauntless. He is a leader. Does he have that kind of power? A sudden fear entered my body. What if he does decide to throw me out? Why would he put up with my behavior? What am I going to do? He can actually just do this and I can't do anything about it. What was I thinking?

I do as I was told and follow the man down the stairs, limping. I push the door behind me closed before Four can ran after us. The door only opens from the inside out, meaning the others are locked on the roof. If Eric wants to throw me out, fine. Let him! It will only make me win in the end. I might be factionless, but I will not bow down to his behavior. Just because he's a leader, doesn't give him the right to act the way he does.

My left foot is throbbing badly and I have to force myself not to cry out in pain while I ascend the stairs. I'm not giving him the satisfaction of seeing me in pain.

We walk throw the pit. Most people are working, so there were only a handful of people hanging around. The woman from the clothing store is one of them. She seems to understand that something is wrong. Her eyes follow us while we cross the pit. I see her run up the stairs we came down from. She is probably going to find Four.

I follow Eric to the chasm. He stops when we are standing on the bridge. There isn't a railing to keep people from falling of the bridge. Maybe Eric will push me in the chasm and make it look like an accident. I am about ask what we are doing here, when one arm graphs mine and lifted me of the bridge. He lowers me quickly, not giving me time to react: "Graph the railing."

He sounded way too much in control. How did he manage to calm down so suddenly? He was about to punch me in the face five minutes ago. I'm not sure graphing the bridge is smart. It's wet, so it will be really hard to hold on to: "Do it or I'll drop you in chasm and tell everyone you jumped."

I don't really have a choice. I do as he says. My hands get wet quickly and I have to focus on holding on, instead of my throbbing ankle. Just hold on Andy. Think positive. If this is his revenge, than that means he won't throw you out of Dauntless. I keep my eyes locked with his: "If you can hang for five minutes above the chasm, you can stay. If you can't, your initiation ends here. The next time you speak up, I'll have you hang ten minutes and every time you speak up again after that, I'll ad five minutes. Do I make myself clear initiate?"

"Cristal."

I try to think about something else, to make time go faster. Becoming divergent, choosing Dauntless at the Choosing Ceremony, Jeanine's face was priceless. She did not see coming that I would leave, but I don't understand why she would want me to stay. I am not that smart or have ever showed any kind of interest in what Erudite does.

One hand is losing its grip.

"Four minutes left."

Why did Jeanine react like that? Maybe she hoped I would become like my parents. They are really good at their jobs and highly respected. Maybe she wanted me to follow their footsteps. I never liked that woman. She sometimes visited our apartment. She makes me feel uncomfortable. Like she's watching me, observing me.

A sick thought crosses my mind. Does she know I'm Divergent?

One hand lets go of the railing.

I shake it and then graph the railing again. I can do this. I will not cower down in front of this man. I hear Four and Lucas their voices. They are shouting something. Behind them stand the other initiates. Annie is holding her hands against her lips. She's scarred.

I can't make out what Four is saying but it has probably something to do with me hanging above the chasm. Eric stops him and signals he doesn't want to hear it: "Three minutes initiate."

I try to forget about everyone watching me. What was I thinking about before? Right Jeanine. Yeah, she's a weird woman. I never understood her. Sometimes she acts like a perfect human been and other moments she regards human life as replaceable. I remember hearing her talking about some experiment to my mom and dad once. She mentioned something about sleep and test subjects.

Human test subjects.

I was overhearing their conversation. I know I shouldn't have done that, but I couldn't stop myself. Jeanine gives me this negative feeling. I don't trust her. I remember dreaming that night about becoming a test subject to one of her tests. I woke up screaming that night.

"Two minutes."

It was starting to be difficult for me to hold on. My hands were slipping and my arms were tired. I'm not sure they will be able to keep holding my weight for two more minutes. This is not looking good for me.

"Come on Andy, keep holding on! You can do it," Annie's voice makes me look to my side. She is standing in front of the others. She's actually cheering me on. Annie? Nice, quiet, little Annie? She is actually doing something that would piss Eric off. He is looking at her, but she keeps her eyes focused me. I turn my eyes back to Eric.

"One minute initiate," he spits. He's starting to lose his control again. That's a very satisfying thought. It keeps me motivating. I can hear Annie cheer me on, followed by Lucas, Rob and Marnie. I don't break the eye contact with Eric. He bends thru his knees, so that I can hear him speak: "Remember initiate, every time you speak up, I'll hang you here again. And every time I'll add a few minutes."

"Eric," Four wants Eric to call the time, but Eric just keeps starring me in the eye. He could be handsome if he wanted to be. I'm not a fan of piercings and his tattoos look more like body decoration, but they don't look bad on him. He could be a very good looking man.

If only he had a nice personality.

"Eric!"

"Time," Eric calls and Four and Lucas help me up. My arms are tired and I have a hard time standing on my feet. They are trembling. I should let someone take a look at my ankle. It's hurting badly.

"Don't forget what I told you initiate," Eric gives me his final warning and walks away after that.

He doesn't come back to supervise our training that day or the one after that.


	10. Chapter 10

**********I don't own Divergent, I only own my OC's**

* * *

**Chapter 10**

Four days have passed since the incident at the chasm. My ankle has healed and my arms aren't throbbing anymore. I had a hard time with practice after hanging from the bridge. My arms and ankle didn't allow me to do a lot, meaning I couldn't fight. I helped Annie with her training instead. At least that way I was being productive. Lucas fought with Rob. He didn't go easy on him. Rob apparently had a problem with hurting people. It sounds like something an Amity person would have problems with. Lucas had to beat Rob up, to get some kind of reaction out of him. I felt bad for the boy, but I understood why Lucas did it.

Surprisingly I have been starting to get along with Sarah. She thought it was cool of me to stand up for Annie. Michael didn't agree with her. I guess you can't be friends with everyone. We did all start to hang out together. We practiced and ate together. It felt nice, being part of this team. Everyone started helping each other, only Michael and I stayed away from each other.

At least he doesn't call me names anymore.

Four didn't go easy on us during practice. I could tell that he didn't agree with Eric's behavior, but he also didn't agree with mine: "You should learn to listen to your superiors, no matter how they behave. I'll deal with Eric, that's not your job." I guess Four might have been a little angry with me in the end. I shouldn't blame him. I did act out. My parents would have scowled me badly for it.

On the positive side, I haven't seen the gorilla since that day at the chasm. Sure I passed him in the hallways and I have seen him in the pit and the dining hall, but those encounters were short and we didn't have to exchange words. It is a good thing for us.

My eyes did meet his. Sometimes I couldn't help myself. I wanted to piss him off, but every time I was able to control myself in the end. I was always the one to break the eye contact. I should ignore him and just get on with my life. We seemed to think alike and we ignored each other. I think we are learning to share the Dauntless compound. Kim is proud of me.

"So what are we going to do tonight?" Marnie asked us, while she throws herself on Kim's bed. We are hanging around in our room, relaxing. It's something we don't do often, but we all agreed we needed a break. Our bodies need a rest from all the training. Lucas and Kim had to talk me out of going to practice on my own. I think they are even keeping an eye on me, so that I don't sneak out. I'm getting addicted to working out.

"We can hang out in the pit? I wouldn't mind getting another tattoo," Marc suggests, but no one is in the mood to hang around the loud Dauntless people. I wouldn't mind going outside. Fresh air would do me so much good. We have been stuck inside this compound for almost a week. I have never been inside a building that long. In Erudite I would walk everyday outside, just so I could stretch my legs and feel the wind on my skin.

It's a pleasant feeling.

"You know, there isn't really much to do around here, is there," Victor says and we all agree. It's our first night out and we don't even know what to do. We're officially lame.

"I heard there is a bar that's pretty popular among the Dauntless. Every night there is some kind of fight among drunken people," Rob tries and we don't see much of another option. Maybe I can sneak out later and go outside just for a few minutes. I can't take everyone with me. If I get caught, then we will all be in trouble. I'm not willing to risk that.

"Well, then Andy will probably be the cause of tonight's fight. If it's that popular, Eric's bound to be there," Marc jokes and everyone throws their pillow at me. I hate to admit, but he's probably right. Kim gives me a warning look. She sometimes acts like my mother: "I will behave, I swear."

"Come on, let's check this place out," Lucas says and we get up. I graph my sweater. Lucas eyes me suspiciously: "I might get cold later." He lets it go.

We follow the rest out to the pit. Marnie, Annie and Marc are for some reason pumped to go. Why? What's so fun about a bar, where people get drunk? It's not like they would give us alcohol? We are too young. Actually I don't know what the rules are here about minors drinking. But we shouldn't drink, we have practice tomorrow and I can just imagine the look on Four's face when he sees us with a hangover. He would drill us even harder. I think he secretly likes our group, but he doesn't want to admit it.

Michael and Sarah are talking about some technical stuff and my eyes cross with Michael's. He still sends me angry glares. I don't really understand why? I have never done anything to him. He's the one who always tortured me in school. Well, maybe tortured is a big word, but still. What's his problem?

"There it is," Rob says and points at a bar on the lower level of the pit. A lot of people are standing outside, talking and laughing. We could hear the music from across the pit. It looked like a fun place. Maybe this could be a relaxing evening.

Eric walks out of the bar, with some people I didn't recognize.

Or not.

I can feel Kim's eyes on my back. I ignore her and follow Lucas. Four is also standing outside, but he isn't talking to Eric. I noticed they haven't talked to each other the last couple of days. Well, not in the pit or in the dining hall. Then again, I don't think they get along, so why would they engage in conversation.

A group of men is watching us when we walk past them. Most of the seemed pretty drunk. One was eyeing me and Annie. It sent shivers down my back. What a creep! Annie saw it too and we quickly walked inside the bar. It was really hot inside and loud. How do people understand each other in here? Music that I didn't recognize was playing and people had to shout to understand each other. The temperature was just bearably. Maybe I shouldn't have showered, I could feel sweat already developing in certain regions.

Victor was able to graph a table in the back. We all fought our way through the crowd. Some of these people aren't really friendly. They noticed us and were deliberately making it harder for us to pass. I had to push Annie or we would never get to Victor's table.

The twins went out to get us some drinks. How are they going to pay them? None of us have money.

"Well, this is different," Kim tries to start the conversation. She and Marnie start gossiping about people their outfits. Annie, Sarah and Michael were talking about fighting techniques and the others were cracking jokes again. It surprised me that they haven't run out of them by now. I try to laugh along with them, but I can barely hear what they say above the music.

This is not what I call fun.

I start observing the people who are crowding this place. Every single one of them had some kind of tattoo or piercing somewhere on a visible spot. I felt kind of naked. I didn't have any. I hadn't notice before that every Dauntless man and woman had them. My friends also have tattoos but they got them on places they could easily hide, like chest, upper arms or their back.

I catch Four walking back inside the bar, followed by Eric and some woman. I think I have seen her before in the dining hall, but I don't know her name. She had her arms wrapped around one of Eric's. She must be his girlfriend. She looks nice, well nice according to Dauntless rules. One arm was covered in tattoos and one ear was pierced multiple times. She wore a black skirt and top. Nothing flashy, but she looked good. She looked like a cool person.

What the hell is she doing with Eric?

The twins come back with drinks. They didn't have to pay because we are initiates. We get to drink free. They did serve alcohol to minors. Victor, Marc, Michael and Marnie tried it. I passed with the rest. Water was fine for me. I have never drank alcohol before. Who knows what I might do when I'm drunk?

When I turn my attention back to my previous activity, my eyes cross with gray once. I let my eyes linger. His face stays neutral, so does mine. I can't make out what he's thinking or what he's achieving by this. Can't he just go back to giving his girlfriend attention? She notices that he isn't listening to what he's saying. She looks at me. I can tell from the other side of the room that she has stunning blue eyes. I guess you could call her beautiful according to Dauntless rules. She smiles at me.

Why is she smiling at me?

She lets go of Eric's arm and walks over to our table. What is she doing? Is she really coming over here? Why? Please don't pick a fight with me. Kim will kill me and I will probably lose (this woman looks fierce) and I will look like an idiot in front of everyone.

"Hey, I'm Amber. You must be Andy," Amber introduces herself and smiles. The others stop talking and look at the new comer, not knowing who she belongs with. She has a nice voice. Is everything about this girl perfect?

I knot, not knowing what she wants from me. The others look at where she came from and figure out that she's some kind of friend of Eric's. I straighten my back, taking a stance just in case she wants to start a fight. Didn't Rob say something about there being a fight in here every night?

"Oh relax, I just came to chat. You're kind of the talk of the compound," Amber explains and smiles at the others. Now that I know she's here just to talk, I feel stupid and give her a small apology smile: "What do you mean?"

"Please, don't act like you don't know why. Everyone knows about you and Eric. It was quite entertaining when I heard about it," Amber laughs and orders a drink from some guy walking past her. She gives him a stunning smile and he actually does it. I look at the others, but they don't know what to do either. Amber turns her attention back to me: "You really don't know?"

I shake my head and she laughs again. I can't figure out what this woman wants from me. She can't just be here for some small talk. She's friends with Eric for crying out loud: "I told Eric to just ignore you, but apparently you have a talent for pushing his buttons. You should take pride in that, because a lot of people in here wouldn't dare to do that. It's going to get you killed one day, but still, respect."

"Eum, thanks I think," I answer and look at Kim for help. I was hoping she would tell me to just behave, but she didn't understand why this Amber person came to talk to us. Everyone was staring at her. She noticed: "What? Everyone keeps their eyes on you guys. You are the transfer initiates and Eric was assigned to train you. We all knew he couldn't handle that. He's such a hothead."

"We noticed," I say and give her a small smile. She turns her attention to the other initiates and tells them about how everyone keeps up with how we are doing, since my little scene with Eric. Apparently everyone knows about that and they seem to think it's hilarious.

Why?

"Because a little girl, no offence, is capable of getting underneath Eric's skin," Amber explains to me and giggles. Her eyes aren't as focused as they were before. She's starting to get drunk. She tells some joke about Eric and makes everyone laugh. I still don't know how to level this woman. Is she just being friendly or is she planning something? I don't trust her, she belongs with Eric.

The others seem to like her and Amber starts telling them about her initiation days. She was an Amity transfer, like Annie and Rob. Amber orders drinks for all of us and they arrive shortly after.

This is too weird.

"Excuse me, bathroom break," I lie and disappear into the crowed. I think I'm going to get some fresh air. I don't feel like hanging around with Eric's girlfriend. I don't want to be friends with her. He can have his friends and keep them. They should stay away from me. It's just too weird.

I walk past the creepy guy's, who are now really drunk. The one who was eyeing Annie and me earlier, notices me. He gets up and I try to get away from him, but he graphs my shoulder: "Hey you're that girl, aren't you?"

"No I am sure you are mistaking me for someone else," I reply and pull myself lose. The stranger doesn't back off. He has a hard time standing on his feet. And he spills the drink he is holding over himself: "No, you are her. The way Eric talks about you, you would think you are some kind of monster, but you're actually cute."

"Good to know, but I suggest you let me go," I try to sound threatening, but the noise is making it difficult for me to do that. Plus his friends are eyeing me in a way I don't feel comfortable with. The stranger doesn't listen and I give him a sudden pull, making him lose his balance and fall to ground. His glass falls with him and breaks next to him.

He looks angry when he gets up. So do his friends. The drunk man was holding a piece of glass. I should have just stayed with the others. How do I keep ending up in these kinds of situations?

"Why did you do that?" The drunk man asks me and takes a step closer to me. One of his friends stands behind me and blocks me way out. I'm stuck between two drunken men. I try to keep my face neutral, but I can tell that my eyes are screaming for help. I can't start a fight here. It's bound to end badly. If I win, everyone will think I'm a lose canon and that I pick fights with everyone. If I lose, I'm the loser who lost to a drunken man. I don't know what to do? It's not like I can actually take these guy's on. Drunk or not, they are Dauntless man. I bet they can fight pretty well, even when they are drunk.

"You wouldn't let me go," I say and try to find a way out of this situation. The man standing behind me graphs both my arms. It alarms me. I don't feel safe and I want to get out of here, now! I try to pull myself lose, but the man holding me seems to have a good grip on my arms. I am starting to panic. Suddenly the man holding me loses his balance and I pull myself lose. I lift my fist and hit his jaw. I duck and quickly walk away from the scene, making my way towards the stairs. I don't turn back and eventually slower my pace. I walk towards the roof of the outer training ground. I take the stairs and push the door open.

Its pitch black on the roof. I can't find any lights to turn on and there isn't a moon to give me any light either. It's cold outside. My jacket doesn't offer me much warmth. I walk to the edge of the roof and stare at the city. It's so quite. It's always quite in the city, except for this compound. I'm surprised to found out that the music from the pit doesn't reach the roof. I'm glad for that.

That bar scene isn't my thing. Standing and talking in a room where you can barely hear each other doesn't sound appealing to me. I rather hang out in our sleeping quarters. Next time I'll pass.

I sit down on the edge and let my mind wonder about the last couple of days. I still haven't asked Four about the attack on the Erudite. I forgot about it after my stunt with Eric. I should ask about it though. Maybe something happened to my family.

Visiting day is soon. Maybe I should wait and ask my parents what happened then. That is if they come and visit me. Would they bring Marie? I do miss them, especially my sister. We were never close, but I miss our bickering. I think I bicker with Eric, because I used to do it with Marie. It used to relax me when we were fighting. It meant that we felt comfortable enough around one and other to yell at each other when we weren't okay. We didn't share much with each other, but it was still more than with mom and dad.

I really miss Marie.

I get pulled out of my thoughts when I see a group of people running down the street. They are wearing black cloths and are hooded. Are they Dauntless? Or factionless? They are running away from the compound. What are they doing? There are six of them. One of them is holding something, but I can't make out what it is. I'm too high up for that.

I don't think they belong to Dauntless. What are factionless people doing here? I thought they never came here. They all live near Abnegation and that is on the other side of the city. My eyes follow the men, but they disappear around a corner. I only hear them yell to each other: "Hurry up, before those faction freaks see us!"

Faction freaks?

My eyes focus on the last man running. He stops for some reason. He turns around and is looking around. Does he know I'm watching them? Suddenly he looks up and sees my figure sitting on the edge. I don't move. Maybe he won't see me if I don't move. This man doesn't need to know that I am sitting up here.

Andy, you are being ridiculous. Even if he can see a person sitting here, he can't see your face. You are too high up and it's dark. I still don't feel comfortable.

"Divergents before factions Andy," the man shouts all of a sudden. Did he just say my name? What does he know about Divergents?

"In three days, midnight, 18th street," the man yells at me and then runs after his friends. How does he know it's me? He shouldn't be able to see me. Does he want me to meet him in three days? It sounds like a trap, but it also sounds like he knows about Divergents.

I get away from the edge. I hope no one heard that. He just verbally brought my name in connection with Divergents. I haven't even said it out loud. If someone finds out, I am dead. Well according to that Abnegation woman.

Wait a minute, how can that man know that I am Divergent? No one knows, besides me and that woman. Did she tell someone? She wouldn't. It's an act of selfishness. It goes against her own faction and…

"What was that?" my thoughts frees as I realize that I'm not alone on the roof anymore.


	11. Chapter 11

**I don't own Divergent, I only own my OC's**

* * *

**Chapter 11**

I slowly turn around and see Eric standing in the door opening. I feel my entire body frees. What if he heard? What if he heard about me being a Divergent? He would tell someone, if not everyone! They will come after me. At least I think they will come after me. I don't know anything for certain when it comes down to this Divergent stuff. I just know that no one can find out, especially not Eric.

"What," I ask, my voice trembling slightly. I know it's from fear, but someone else might think it's trembling because it's cold outside. I take a few steps away from the edge of the roof. Who knows what Eric might do to me? He might push me of this building. No one would question him, as a Dauntless leader and that Abnegation woman had warned me that people would fear me, even hurt me.

Also, I'm pretty sure Eric wouldn't mind shoving me of this building.

"Those people, who were they," Eric asks me and walks towards the edge. He looks over it, but the men are gone. They disappeared between the buildings of the city. I can't lie about not seeing the men. He knows I saw them. But I can pretend that I don't know who they are, because well… I don't actually know who they are.

"They looked like Dauntless people," I lied. Technically they did look like Dauntless people. I don't know who they are. I have my suspicions, but no facts. Eric's linger on my face longer then I am comfortable with. I can tell he doesn't believe me, but he doesn't question the identity of the men further: "What were they talking about?"

"Something about meeting somewhere," I answer and walk slowly towards the door. I don't feel safe with Eric here. He might have heard more than he is letting me believe. Maybe it's a trap to see what I would do. I scan the roof for a potential weapon. I only see a lose pipe. That could work, if Eric decides to attack me and if I am quick enough to graph it.

The man turns to me. He can't find a signal of the men. Great, now his full attention is focused on me. I don't like this situation. The last time I was alone with Eric, it was because of my own stupidity. Now it's that man's fault. He shouldn't have said my name and he shouldn't have mentioned the word Divergent either.

"Meeting where?" Eric asks me. He walks towards me. I have to force myself to not move my feet. If I start taking a step backwards, that would suspicious. He knows I wouldn't back down to him, so it would be weird if I do it now. I can feel my body tremble. I press my knees against each other to make them stop shaking: "I couldn't hear it."

"I don't suspect you heard when they were meeting either," Eric asks. He doesn't believe me. What am I going to do? I need him to believe me. He stops in front of me. I look up and do my best at keeping my face neutral. I can't figure out what Eric is thinking or what his next move will be. The pipe is in hand reach, but Eric is standing to close.

"I did actually…," I say, my voice still slightly trembling. Should I tell him the truth or lie about the date? If he heard the whole thing, he would know for sure that I was lying about what I heard. But if I tell him the truth he will probably inform someone important to watch the exits better on that day, what will make it harder for me to sneak out.

I hadn't realized that I had already made up my mind about meeting those people.

"And when would that meeting be taking place?" Eric asked. His breath hits my face. I can smell bear. He's been drinking. Maybe his mind is foggy and he didn't hear that much. I take the risk: "Four days."

"You sure you heard that correctly initiate," Eric asks me again, his face coming closer to mine. I can't tell if he thinks I'm lying or that he's just making sure that I'm telling the truth. I can hear my heart beat in my ears, making it hard for me to focus on the threat looming over me. I'm surprised he can't hear my heart beat. I keep my eyes locked with his. If I break it, he will know I was lying.

"Positive. Can you back of now," I try to change the subject and somehow manage to sound like my normal self. There isn't much he can say more about it, besides calling me a liar. I'm not sure what I would do if he does that. Eric seems to be taken back by my question. His eyebrows pull together. I explain: "I'm sure you enjoy drinking bear, but I don't enjoy the smell of it in my face."

Eric pulls back, but doesn't say anything. His eyes go over my face. I can tell he's thinking about what he should do with me. He takes a step back and I feel a lot safer all of a sudden. His threatening body isn't looming over mine anymore. I feel very tired all of a sudden. It's like this conversation has drained me. I can't suppress a yawn, so I use it to my advantage: "Can I go now? I'm tired and I didn't tell my friends where I went, so they are probably looking for me."

"They are. Lucas noticed you hadn't come back after five minutes and he and the other initiates went to look for you," Eric says, his eyes still scanning me. For someone from Dauntless, he analyses things for a long period.

It's almost Erudite like.

Wait a minute…

He is an Erudite transfer! He is not a Dauntless born. He is from Erudite, like me.

A small smile creeps on my lips and I feel my body relax for some reason. Eric notices the sudden change in my behavior. I cross my arms over each other. I am only pointing out a fact, so it shouldn't piss him off. I hope it doesn't piss him off: "You are an Erudite transfer, aren't you."

My question caught him off guard. His eyes widen slightly and he presses his mouth shut. That's all the confirmation I need to know I am right and it makes me feel good for some reason. The big bad Dauntless leader is not a Dauntless born. He used to be part of Erudite. I tried to picture that, but it didn't seem right. Eric's voice stops my brain: "What makes you say that?"

"You analyze too long," I state flatly, seeing no harm in telling him that. It's the truth. Maybe that's why he watched me so much during training, to analyze me. To figure out what I am worth. Four does it too, but not as long as Eric. It's a true Erudite trade.

"So do you," Eric tells me and mimics my posture. I should leave, but I have a feeling he has something to say. I am surprised that Eric actually comes from the same faction as me. He didn't strike me as an Erudite before, but now that I think about it, maybe he does. I should keep an eye on him. He's not as dumb as I thought he was or as he sometimes makes others believe.

"At least I won't have to worry about fitting in soon. Apparently it takes a while to adjust completely," I say, feeling a bit relieved. It's okay to need time to adjust. Eric has been here a few years and he still shows Erudite trades.

"Go to bed initiate," Eric tells me. I understand that I said something wrong, but it was still a weird comment coming from him. I turn around and walk towards to door. I want to go to the only safe place in this compound, my sleeping quarters. My friends would bug me with questions, but I could easily lie to them. I feel bad having to lie to them, but I can't tell them that I had this talk with Eric.

"Know that if you are lying to me, I will find out,' Eric warns me. I know he doesn't believe me and I shouldn't be surprised that he isn't going to let this go, but that information is going to make it hard for me sleep tonight. He hates me, so of course he would look for something to use against me. I'll just have to watch out. I turn around and face him: "Then it's a good thing I didn't lie. Goodnight sir."

After that I leave. I try to walk at a normal pace, in case Eric is following me. I am too stressed out to be able to focus on who's following me or not.

"Andy! There you are!" Lucas yells and I turn around. He and his brother come running towards me. They seem to be out of breath: "We have been looking everywhere for you. Where did you go?"

"Oh the roof, I needed some fresh air. The bar scene isn't my thing. Sorry," I apologize and see Eric walking across the hall. His eyes cross with mine. He was following me. I need to watch my steps. Especially if I am planning on meeting those people. I am not sure it's a smart move, but I want answers. I am willing to risk it.

"You were on the roof with Eric? We saw him just come down the stairs," Victor says and he eyes his brother. Crape, they saw Eric leaving: "Yeah, apparently I wasn't the only one who had that idea. On the plus side, I didn't fight with him, so I'm learning self-control. Because I really wanted to bash his head in."

"Great, we should tell Kim, she will be so proud," Victor jokes and we walk to our sleeping quarter. After apologizing to everyone and explaining why I left, we all crawled into bed. I was exhausted. My encounters with Eric always seem to make me tired.

"Psst Andy, are you okay?" Rob whispers. He is facing me, his head half hiding beneath his blanket. Why is he whispering? Everyone can hear us: "Yeah, I am kind of proud of myself. I'm learning self-control, can you believe it!"

"I knew you would, sleep tight," Rob yawns and closes his eyes. I turned around and face the wall. Why are all my days in this compound so exhausting? I need to figure out tomorrow how I am going to sneak out of this compound and get to 18the Street by midnight.

During practice the next day I try to stay focused, but my meeting with that man is spooking thru my head. Who is he and what does he want from me? How does he even know my name?

"Andy, pay attention!" Four yells at me, as Michael is able to tackle me to the ground. We were paired together today. We haven't faced off against each other. I should pay more attention. I am losing and that grin on Michaels face is telling me he is enjoying it.

"I know," I say thru closed teeth and get back on my feet. I end up losing to Michael. He notices something is of with me, but he doesn't question me about it. I can feel his eyes following me, as we walk to the dining hall. He's such an Erudite.

"Andy!" I turn my head and see Amber running up to me. I feel my stomach twist as I see who's walking behind her. I really don't want to see his face right now: "Hey, I missed you last night. Where did you go?"

Oh great, Eric didn't tell her.

"Oh I need some fresh air, the bar scene isn't really my thing," I use the same words as yesterday. The others greet Amber and get food after that. I ask Rob to graph me a plate too. Amber smiles and accepts my apology: "That's okay, it was rather crowed yesterday. In fact it was boring, no one fought and the music wasn't that great. Don't worry, next time it will be better. Anyway, the reason I can over was because I promised Annie, Marnie and Kim to go look for some better clothes that they are giving you and it would be kind of mean of me not to invite you too. So, you wane join us?"

She is asking me to go shopping with her? Is she serious?

The last time I went shopping with someone, was with Marie. Mom had asked me to go buy some new clothes with her, she was growing fast and none of her clothes fitted anymore and my old cloths were to worn down to give to her. It didn't end well. We bickered a lot on the way and after two shops, we gave up. We have very different opinions and that makes us collide sometimes.

I feel like laughing at the offer, but Amber is being serious. I shake my head: "Thanks for the offer, but I'm not the shopping type of girl. Besides, I like my manly shorts." I graph the side of my shorts to emphases the fact that they are manly and laugh. I really do like them. They're comfortable, not to hot, not to cold, not to tight.

Someone calls Amber. She asks me if I'm sure and I assure her that I am. She runs to the person who called her name. It's a man, about twenty-seven years old I think. She hugs him. That's weird. Isn't that something you only do with your boyfriend? What would I know? I'm sixteen.

Speaking of that boyfriend, he's still standing in front of me. His posture doesn't tell me anything about his intentions, but I'm positive he doesn't mean to start a fight. But I know what he's thinking and he knows that I am thinking the same thing.

I need to get out of here, before I give him more reason to suspect me of lying yesterday. I walk past him, but he graphs my arm. I jump a little, a little too much. My eyes meet his, but he doesn't say anything. He doesn't have to. We both know what the other is thinking and my reaction proves that I am on edge around him and that I am hiding something.

That I lied to him yesterday.

Eric's eyes tell me he knows, but he decides to let me go. He walks to Max, the Dauntless head leader. I relax and join my friends. I try to shake the uneasy feeling that is lingering in my stomach, but it doesn't go away. After dinner we go back to the training room. I ask Michael to fight me again. I want to win from him and learn more techniques. I might not like him, but he's good. I can learn from him. He doesn't mind, but I sense his calculating eyes follow me.

"What is eating you up?" he asked me when we are standing inside the circle. We take our positions and start walking along the line of the circle. Why is he analyzing me? Does he know more? What could he know? He wasn't on the roof. He couldn't have heard anything or seen anything for that matter. I am starting to get paranoid. Eric is the only one who knows. Michael doesn't know anything.

"Just stress from all this practice and our first upcoming test," I answer and attack. I'm able to land a punch on his face quickly, but he graphs both my arms and twists them behind my back. This guy is fast. Must faster than the others. I step hard on his foot and he releases me. I turn around quickly and throw myself at his chest. I plant one leg behind his and push myself forward, holding on to one of his arms. He has to bend his legs and eventually falls on his back. I try to punch him in the face, but he can block my fist. This guy is fast and strong.

"Yeah…," Michael says, not believing me. Why doesn't anyone believe me when I lie to them? Did I really just ask myself that question? Why is he interested in knowing anyway? We haven't engaged before in friendly conversation. We avoid each other. The others have noticed, but they don't say anything about it. I don't really know why I avoid Michael. I can stand up for myself and I can take him on. I have a fair chance of winning.

What is he hiding?

"I could ask you the same question, you know," I tell him and take a step back. We are both standing in front of each other again. This time Michael attacks first. I take a step aside and plant my foot on the backside of his knee. He falls. I sit on his back and wrap my arm around his throat. If he says he is done, I win. We don't fight until our opponent is unconscious. It makes it harder to train.

"None of your business," Michael answers and is able to punch me with his elbow. The blow makes me loosen my grip on his neck and he turns around. He graphs my wrists and pushes me beneath him. I pull my legs up and wrap them around Michael's body. I wriggle beneath him, but I can't get lose. Michael's grip on my wrist is strong. I lose the fight.

"Don't stick your nose in things, if it doesn't belong there, Andrina," Michael warns me, his face really close to mine. If the others were paying attention to us, they wouldn't be able to hear what he said. Why is he acting like this?

"Initiates, get out. The Dauntless initiates get the training room today," I turn my head to see Four, Eric and the other initiates walk into the training room. They all looked like they belonged here, like they are already in. Maybe not many transfer initiates make it to the end of initiation.

I feel grey eyes on me, but I'm more focused on Michaels face. He holds me down and puts extra weight on his hands, to hurt my wrists: "Call it Andrina."

I don't want to give in, but I can't get him of me. He has me pinned down and there isn't anything I can do about it. My legs can't reach him and he has more strength in his arms, so I can't push him of me. Damn! I wanted to win this time. I can always head but him, but that just sounds like a stupid idea. I would probably end up hurting myself more.

"Say it Andrina," Michael spits my name out. Why does he keep calling me that? Everyone calls me Andy. I don't like it that he calls me by my full name. I like Andy. Andy is fierce and stands up against Dauntless leaders and can take a beating: "Say it!"

"You heard Four, get out of here," Eric says and he pulls Michael of me with one hand on his color. He just lifts him up and drops him next to me. How strong is this guy? I take it back, he can't knock me unconscious with one hit. He can kill me with one hit.

I sit up and so does Michael. Our eyes locked. What is he hiding? His behavior doesn't suit him. He usually acts all collected, but now he acts like he doesn't know what to do. His body language is telling me he's slightly panicking. But why?

I feel Eric's towering present, waiting for us to leave the training room. I offer my hand to Michael and he takes it. We pull each other up, standing nose to nose.

"Back of Andrina!"

"Don't call me that!"

Michael lets go of my hand and follows Sarah. She looks puzzled. It seems to be a look she carries a lot. She never seems to understand what is going on. I shouldn't talk like that. I barely know what is going on.

"Today initiate," Eric warns me and I turn my eyes to him. I seem to go from one problem to another. The man wants to take a step closer to me, but Four graphs my elbow and drags me outside: "Let it go Andy!"

When we are outside, Four closes the door of the training room. He gives me a warning look. I should have backed off on my own. Four apparently expects that from me. Why does everyone expect that from me? I am the kid and Eric is the adult. He should know better and act like the better person.

I just admitted that my behavior is childish. Nice going Andy!

The others are walking towards to sleeping quarters. It's shower time. I can hear Marc and Victor bicker who gets to shower first. They didn't noticed Kim and Marnie running ahead of them. The guy's always get to shower first. It's about time the girls get to shower first. I usually end up showering last with Rob or Annie.

Four is about to leave, when I ask him what's been bugging me for a while: "What happened a few days at Erudite? I heard there was an attack."

Judging by Four's look, I wasn't supposed to know that information. I quickly explain how I had heard Lauren mention the attack and that I was worried for my family. Four seemed to understand: "The factionless were angry and they attacked Erudite headquarters. There were a few casualties, on both sides."

"Were any of them named Caine?" I ask quickly, to quickly considering we are supposed to live after the saying "_faction before blood_". Casualties? Meaning as in dead people? Mom? Dad? Marie? Wait, they won't be hurt. If they were, I would already know, I think. They would tell me, wouldn't they?

"No, your parents and sister are fine," Four reassures me and my body relaxes. I let the breath I was holding go. My family is safe. Why did they attack? I want to ask Four that question, but he beats me to it: "You aren't supposed to know this. We don't know why the factionless attacked, so don't tell anyone. We don't need people to start panicking. Understood?"

I knot and Four leaves.

How can they not know why the factionless attacked? Did they kill all of them, before they could explain themselves? I remember the blood covering Eric's face and cloths.

They wouldn't do something like that, would they?

It would be completely unfair and not to mention stupid. How can you live in piece if you don't make them explain themselves? Maybe they were in their right to attack Erudite.

I wonder.


	12. Chapter 12

******I don't own Divergent, I only own my OC's**

* * *

**Chapter 12**

Tomorrow is the day I meet those people from the roof. The people who made Eric very suspicious of me. He joined our training again, but he keeps himself to the background, watching us. Four doesn't give much thought to Eric suddenly showing up again, neither do the other initiates, but I know better. I can tell when Eric walked back into our training the first time, it was for one reason only: to keep an eye on me.

During training he watches everyone, but his eyes always find a way back to me. My body automatically tenses when his eyes land my figure. He can tell. I can feel a smirk hanging on his lips whenever I tense. I don't feel comfortable around him anymore. Not that I felt great around him before, but that was different. He didn't like me and I didn't like him. I understood that situation. Now, I am not sure what Eric's next move will be. I can't figure out what he is thinking, what he is hoping to accomplish with this. He already knows I lied and he knows that I know that he knows.

This is such a complicated situation.

Tomorrow is also the day we have our first test, along with the Dauntless born initiates. The test will decide who gets cut and becomes factionless. Sara, Rob and Annie feel the pressure of that and have been pushing themselves even more. They basically walk around completely covered in bruises. I have also noticed that Annie gets up at night to train some more. I followed her once and saw her practicing fighting techniques. If I have to point out who has worked the hardest these last couple of day, it would be her. She's transformed from little Annie, to fierce Annie, who isn't afraid to throw out a punch.

Everyone is doing a good job, but I fear for the test with the Dauntless born initiates. They have been living here for a long time. They must have been practicing since they were young. If that's true, they will probably be able to beat us with one hand tied on their back. We need to come up with a plan to survive this test as a team. I have grown fond of these people. They are my friends and I want to become Dauntless with them. Even Michael.

He has been keeping his distance again. Even from the others. He eats alone and doesn't join us when we go out for extra training. Lucas asked me if I knew why he did that, but I don't know. I know he's hiding something, but so am I so I am not going to call that out. Sarah tries to get him to join us but he keeps refusing.

Well I have other problems, so I can't bother with him right now.

"That's it, practice is over. Get a shower, your family will be here in an hour," Four ends the training and the battle for the shower begins yet again. It has become a ritual. Every time Four would end practice at the end of the day, most of our group would sprint to our room, to own a shower. I never have the energy to participate in that fight. With every day that paces the fight gets more aggressive. It is fun to watch the guy's get punched in the face by Annie or Marnie.

"Do you think your parents are coming," Lucas asks me, while we help Four clean up. I always end up with that job, because of the others. It's nice of Lucas to stay behind and help me. Rob helps too sometimes, but he was the first one to leave the training room today.

"I don't know. I haven't seen them since the morning of the Choosing Ceremony. I hope they come and bring my sister with them, but I am not sure," I say and sign. I would really like to see them. I have missed them a lot these last couple of days. Especially Marie: "What about your parents. Are they coming to see how you and Victor are doing?"

"Probably, we are their only children and I think they knew we would leave. Condor life was never our thing," Lucas explains and we graph our stuff. Four and Eric are talking, but Eric's eyes keep finding their way to me. What is he talking about with Four? And why does he keep looking at me? Are they talking about me? No! Eric wouldn't tell Four about the roof. At least I don't think so. Maybe he would. Maybe I have judged their friendship wrongly. Maybe they get along really good.

"I am not sure what they would say about Victor's tattoos though," Lucas pulls me away from my thoughts. In the last couple of days Victor got two more tattoos along with Marnie and Marc: "I am so glad I didn't get any yet. I can hear my father already scold me for it: '_you know how dangerous those things are, Andy! Were those needles sterile? How do you know that they were_'?"

"Och, that sounds bad," Lucas laughs and we walk towards our sleeping quarters. When we reach them. Marnie is already done with showering and Marc is leaving the shower. Kim quickly disappears into it. It's a good thing everyone hurries when they are in the shower. We only have a certain amount of warm water and we try to share it with each other, but that means we only get like five minutes each. Well, maybe it's more like four.

I am nervous for seeing my parents again. At the Choosing Ceremony I didn't dare to look at them. I was afraid for their reaction. Would they be angry, sad or glad that I made the transfers? What did Marie say when she heard I transferred to Dauntless? She is probably mad at me, maybe even furious. Although I think she would understand in the end. Probably more than mom and dad.

"Is everyone ready?" Marc asks when it's time to go to the pit. There is a nervous vibe hanging in the room. No one is sure if their parents will show up. Maybe no one comes for us. This is getting to depressing!

"Oh lighten up everyone! The people whose parents don't show up can drown their sorrow in Dauntless cake and after that we can go beat each other up. That sounds like fun, right," I joke and the mood lightens a bit. Marc and Marnie laugh and the others all have smiles on their faces.

We head to the pit and wait together. Rob snuck out to get some Dauntless cake and we all end up taking a piece of it. We're a bunch of nervous nellies. Marc starts telling a joke, to make us focus our attention on something else. It works. Victor, Annie and Sarah stop looking at the hallway that leads to the compound entry and I can see Rob and Lucas relax.

I wish I was able to relax myself.

"Listen up initiates," Eric's voice makes all of us go quite. The tension was starting to leave our circle. Now we are all focusing on him, but I can tell that everyone is actually looking at the hall behind him. It was still empty: "I want to give you some advice. If by some miracle your family decides to come visit you, which I doubt, it is in your best interest not to seem to too attached to them. It will make things easier for you and your family. We take the phrase faction before blood very serious."

_Divergent before factions_!

I shake my head to stop the words from ringing inside my head. Rob gives me a questioning look, but I shrug it off. I try to listen to Eric's little friendly advice: "Attachments to your family suggests you aren't entirely pleased with your faction, which would be shameful. Understand?"

He expects us to answer him and I was about to say something to satisfy his need for that, when Annie shouts out: "MOM!" I guess she didn't hear what Eric said. She runs towards her mother, who she looks a lot like and hugs her.

"Do you think she did that on purpose to piss Eric off?" Lucas whispers into my ear and I grin. I'm not sure. I can't remembering having a conversation with Annie about her mother, so I don't know how much she has missed her. If she did do it on purpose, it was genius. And she should get an extra piece of cake.

Annie's mom wasn't the only one who had arrived. The twins were talking to their parents and Marnie and Kim were talking to a men. I think he's Kim's father, but I can't be sure. He seemed to know Marnie as well. Probably from the old days.

It didn't take long before I was the only one standing in front of Eric. I was battling really hard with myself to not laugh at him and he could tell. In fact he was giving me a look that was daring me to laugh out loud. I try to restrain it because I'm not sure what he would do to me if I did laugh out loud.

I really don't want to hang from the chasm for ten minutes right now.

"That was interesting," Eric says and I break. I laugh out loud, hard. My stomach starts hurting from it. I have tears threatening to leak from my eyes: "Yeah, you can say that again. I never knew that Annie had that much gut's!"

I need a few seconds to control my laughter again, before I am able to look Eric in the eye. I have to admit, it felt good to laugh like that. It has been a long times since I have done that. In fact, I can't even remember when the last time was I laughed that hard.

"Yeah I wonder where she gets that from," Eric says and I give him a cheeky smile. I might be rubbing of on her. I take another piece of Dauntless cake. It seems that I'll be the only one eating my sorrow away today. Eric takes my piece away from me and takes a bit of it: "Consider it your punishment for laughing."

"What? No chasm," I ask sarcastically. I really should know better. That was the dumbest thing I could have said to this man. He'll probably make me hang again and make me watch while he eats my piece of cake. Eric doesn't move, he just sends me a glare and then in a low voice adds: "I'm not allowed to ..."

"What?" I ask, not catching the end of the sentence, but it sounded promising. Eric glared at me: "I'm not allowed to hang you from the chasm today."

That makes me laugh. Again! Really hard! He isn't allowed to hang me from the chasm today? That's so funny! They actually restrained him, now that our parents are coming to visit us. It seems like I'm not the only one who has to be on her best behavior. Eric isn't allowed to be a complete dickhead today. Who would have thought he would listen?

A flick to my forehead makes me stop laughing. The flick actually hurt. I glare at Eric, while rubbing my forehead. He just smirks and eats my cake: "What was that for?"

"You annoy me," Eric mocks me and takes another bite from my cake. I really want to take that piece out of his hands and eat it myself, but that would probably create a scene. I just keep glaring at him while he eats: "Here I was think we were having a moment."

"And you know it," he says, grinning and leaves. He joins a group of Dauntless men, who are playing some card game. He's such a creep. _And you know it_! Dickhead.

I don't have time to over think the gorilla's actions, when I hear a familiar voice call my name. I turn around and see Marie standing on the other side of the pit. She is wearing an Erudite skirt that used to belong to me. I walk over to her, she runs to me. A smile is covering her face and I can see mom in her. She throws her arms around my neck and her body forces me to take a step back: "I have missed you so much. It's so boring at home without you."

"Marie, we only bickered," I say and try to get my sister of off me, but she doesn't move: "I know, but it was fun. I don't have anyone anymore to fight with. I am a complete mess and it's all your fault!"

"Sorry I left, but I…" I try to explain. I want Marie to understand why I left. I couldn't stay in Erudite. I don't belong there and I never will. I belong in Dauntless. It's a though place and I might not like a few people, but it's still better that Erudite. Marie interrupts me: "I know, I saw it coming. I didn't expect you to come home that day. I was prepared for it, well sort off."

Marie finally let's go and I smile at her. My little sister, who is smarter than me. I wished I could see her more. Maybe she knows what to do with this whole Divergent situation? I look behind her and notice mom and dad aren't there: "They aren't coming?"

"Can we go talk somewhere a bit more private?" Marie's body language suddenly changes. Her eyes scan the room and she takes notice of everything and everyone she sees. She's on her guard. She isn't comfortable. I graph her arm: "Come on, I'll show you around the compound."

No one needs to know we are leaving to talk more privately. Marie understands and skips behind me, smiling. If there is something that proves we are sister, besides our looks, it would be our talent for reading a situation. We are quick to understand what is going on, when we get all the facts and understand each other behavior quickly. Marie doesn't like Jeanine either and when she would visit us at home, one of us would always pretend to be sick and the other would watch over the sick sibling. It was our strategy to get away from Jeanine.

I take Marie to outside practice roof. I can't close the door behind me, because it only opens from the inside, so I have to leave it open. I don't want to be stuck here all day. I sit down on the edge of the building. Marie keeps her distant from it. Her eyes travel down the building to scan how high we are.

"What's going on? Why didn't mom and dad come?" I ask, making sure I don't talk to loud. I don't think anyone would follow us or want to listen to our conversation, but you never know. Marie claps her hands together and is thinking. She always does that when she needs to gather her thoughts.

"Something is going on in Erudite. I don't know what, but there is a weird vibe. Jeanine has been at our place a lot lately and mom and dad are barely home these days. They say they are working on some new medicine and they think they are close to a break, but I can tell they are lying," Marie explains. That is weird. Mom and dad always liked coming home on time, to spend time together and with Marie and me. They loved family time.

"I think Jeanine wasn't happy when you chose Dauntless. I can't explain why, but she is giving me these angry looks and you know she has always been nice us," Marie continues. She is right. Even though we don't like her, she has never been unkind. In fact she used to praise us a lot. I always thought she did that because of our parents: "She did look confused when I chose Dauntless on the day of the Choosing Ceremony."

"But why would she want you to stay in Erudite? It's not like you are extremely smart. No offence but I am smarter then you," Marie says. Coming from her, I don't feel offended. I just sent her a glare: "And it's not like you have ever shown any real interest in Erudite. So why is this woman interested in you?"

I could name a reason, but I'd rather not think about the fact that she might know that I am Divergent. A chill runs down my spine. It would be bad news for me if she knew, though it could explain why she is interested in me, but I don't have proof for that. I don't think I should mention this to Marie.

"And I'm sure you heard about the attack from the factionless a few days ago…" Marie continues, not noticing a small chance in my behavior. The attack? What about it?

"Those weren't factionless people," Marie states and she can tell by my look that I don't understand her, but that I am extremely curious now: "You know I have certain convenient connections, right?"

"If you are referring to the guy you made out, whose dad is part of the security team of Erudite headquarters, then yes I am aware," I say, feeling lame because my little sister has more experience with men than I do. She grins at me: "Whatever, I got a passcode from him awhile back. So we could meet and I wouldn't have to wait outside the office. That would look…"

"Get to the point Marie," I tell her and try not to think about my little sister and some guy, alone, in a dark room. When I become Dauntless, I am paying that guy a visit.

"Anyway, the day after the attack I snuck into the control room when they had a break, to watch the security cameras of the day of the attack. Those weren't factionless people attacking Erudite. It were Erudite and Dauntless people, pretending to be factionless. I recognized a few from Erudite."

"What?" I nearly shout and my eyes immediately go to the door. It hadn't moved. Marie sits down beside me and starts to whisper: "I knew something was wrong when mom and dad came home that night. That's why I checked the security cameras. They were acting all over the place and I didn't understand a word they were saying. They weren't behaving like themselves. When I watched the security cameras, I went to their laboratory. From the moment mom got the message that people were attacking headquarters, she called dad and they left. I couldn't find them anywhere on the cameras."

"They thought that the attackers were targeting them?" I ask, stunned. Why would anyone want to target our parents? They don't have enemies. They get along with everyone. They are smart and nice. Why would anyone want them…dead?

"Where are they now?" I ask quickly, afraid that something happened to them and that that's the reason they aren't here today. Because they are dead. Marie shakes her head: "They are fine. They have stopped working so much and they make sure they are at home before dark. And they want me inside the house before dark too. They are afraid of something and I don't know what. They won't explain to me what is going on."

"But if they are fine, why aren't they here today?" I ask, puzzled. I am relieved to hear my parents are safe, but why didn't they come visit me? Are they really mad at me for transferring factions?

"They didn't come because of Jeanine. She made sure they would be stuck at work all day. Mom and dad wanted to come. They have been talking about it all week. They miss you and want to yell at you for not saying goodbye, but they really wanted to come," I feel relieved, knowing that my parents didn't hate me. They weren't angry at me because of my decision. Maybe they did see it coming. Maybe they were prepared for it, like Marie.

"I didn't want to come without them. Their behavior is scarring me, but they told me I had too. To tell you this and to warn you. Something is going on and you need to watch out. Mom said I had to emphise the _you_ part. She said you would understand that and that I shouldn't question it. So now you know," Marie ends her story. I feel exhausted from just listening to her.

"What are we going to do?" my little sister asks me and I recognize the little girl who's hand I used to hold while walking to school. She is smart, but scarred easily. I smile at her, trying to reassure her. But I don't know what we should do, what we can do: "Don't worry sis, I'm learning how to beat people up, so I'll protect you."

"Good, I'll send you a smoke signal when I need you," Marie jokes and we laugh at the idea. Even if I am learning all of this, I can't do anything to protect her. We live to far apart. If I want to sneak out to see her, I need to take a train and that ride at least takes thirty minutes and then I still have to walk to our apartment.

"Don't worry about it. I am sure mom and dad are taking care of everything. Just do as they say and avoid situations you think are threatening, that includes Jeanine," I tell her and get up. I don't tell Marie what I know. She's worried enough and I don't know if my information has anything to do with hers. Maybe it does. I have a feeling that Jeanine knows more about the Divergent and I wonder why.

"Tell mom and dad I said hallo and that I miss them. It's going to be fine. I'll see what I can find out from over here, but I can't promise anything," I tell Marie and we walk down the stairs, back to the pit: "Do me a favor and don't hang out with that guy anymore and stay away from those computers."

"I'll try, but I can't make any promises," she jokes but nodes her head anyway. I hate that she has to go back to Erudite. I have a feeling that it is safer here in Dauntless at the moment. What is Jeanine hiding? What does she want with my parents? And what roll do I play in her plans? What does she want from me?

"Who's he?" Marie asks me suddenly. I stop and turn to follow her eyes. I roll them and sigh when I realize who she's talking about: "That's just Eric, a Dauntless leader and a real pain in my…"

"He was there. He knew that those factionless people were part of his faction, but he killed them anyway," Marie says and I can feel her body tense. A shiver runs down my back, when I recall the evening when I saw Eric covered in blood.

Did he knowingly kill people from his own faction?

Eric feels my look on his back and he turns around. Grey eyes meet green and I want to believe that he isn't cable of such an act. I might not like him, but I want to believe that somewhere deep down, he's a good guy.

His eyes tell me something different.


	13. Chapter 13

**********Thank you for the reviews and followers so far. Feel free to leave a review at the end of this chapter to let me know what you think. If you find any typo's, feel free to point them out, so that I can fix them. **

**********I don't own Divergent, I only own my OC's**

* * *

**Chapter 13**

That night I didn't sleep. I kept tossing and turning in my bed. Is Eris really a person who would just kill people from his own faction? Or anyone for that matter? If Marie is right about him, then that means he knows more about what is going on. He might work together with Jeanine. It's not that farfetched, knowing that he used to live in Erudite. Maybe he made the switch because Jeanine told him to.

Andy, now you are just talking nonsense. What proof do you have for this? The only thing we know is that Eric killed people from his own faction. Maybe he had a reason to do that. But what kind of reason could ever justify such an act? The man nearly punched me because I got under his skin and he made me hang for five minutes above the chasm. I think this man is cable of a lot. I should stay away from him, but considering he is following me, that won't be easy.

I shouldn't be thinking about this right now. The first initiation test is tomorrow and I don't know what we are supposed to do for it. There is no way I can prepare myself. I have been training a lot, there's nothing more I can do. I have gotten pretty good with a gun. Most of the time I hit the targets now. In the circle of the training room I can hold my ground. Sometimes I win, sometimes I lose. I'm not the best initiate, but I'm also not the worst. Actually I'm not sure who that would be. Victor, Lucas and Michael are the strongest of our group. All the others are on the same level.

How are we going to survive this test? We have to go up against the Dauntless born initiates. We need to figure out a plan, to make sure we can all pass. But how can we form a plan, when we don't know what we are going up against?

At six in the morning I can't take it anymore and I get up. I head for a morning jog. I like the Dauntless compound the most at this hour. People are slowly waking up and starting their day. It's quite, but not to quite. The pit is calm.

I am not the only one who got up this early. Three Dauntless initiates are also running. They are laughing and don't seem to be worried about the test. They are far to relaxes. Even if I was one of them, I would still be worried. They don't know anything about us. How can they be relaxed with so much lack of information? Maybe they are underestimating us. Maybe they are already sure that will pass this test. That would be a dumb mistake and maybe we can use that to our advantage.

I scan their bodies. I can tell that they have a lot of muscle development, meaning they are probably physically strong. But do they know how to use that strength to their advantage? It's not because you are strong, that you can win a fight. I have learned that while fighting Michael and Lucas. And then there's the question how well are they with guns? I expect them to be good with them, but can they hit a moving target when they are under pressure? We are used to it because of Eric. We learned to help each other thru those moments and to drown everyone around us out. Can they do that?

"You are up early," Four asks me when I sit down on one of the tables in the dining hall. A few people are eating quietly. It's a weird thing to see, considering these are Dauntless people. I guess even they have moments when they can be calm and silent: "You should take it easy. You don't want to be exhausted for the test, do you?"

"I couldn't sleep," I answer and keep watching the Dauntless born initiates. One by one they are entering the dining hall. They just woke up. Some are still rubbing the sleep out of their eyes. Why are they up this early?

"Are you nervous for the test?" Four asks me and sits down next to me. All of the Dauntless born initiates look the same if you ask me. They are all big and they show off their strength towards one another: "Something like that."

"Four! There you are," Eric shouts and walks towards us. I feel my body tense. I try to act natural, but he can tell something is up. He still hasn't said anything about the meeting and me lying to him, but he knows that I am on edge around him. The only thing that he doesn't know, is that I am on edge because of a different reason.

They start talking, but I drown their voices out my head and focus on the Dauntless born initiates. Maybe I can find some weakness and we could use that against them. They act like a group. Running together, eating together and training together. But why do they all seem to have assigned seats? They don't just sit down and eat. They sit down next to certain people. They have subgroups. That's it! They pretend to be one big group. It's to psych us out, because of their number of initiates. It is smart, but I am smarter. I quickly discover that there are four subgroups and that two people function as a bridge between those subgroups. They must be the leaders of the entire group. Everyone likes them and will listen to them. If those two guys were removed from their group, they would fall apart.

"Hey Andy, are you listening to me? "Fours voices pulls me out of my concentration. I nearly growl at him and he and Eric can tell he did something wrong: "No!" I spat and leave the dining hall. I need to talk to the others. I have to tell them what I know. Maybe someone has figured out by now what the test will be.

Hours pass and we don't see or hear from Four or Eric. The evening is starting soon, but we still haven't heard anything about the test. We stay for most the day in our room, but it isn't doing us any good. Everyone is on edge. When we hear footsteps in the hall, we all quite down and don't breathe until the footsteps disappear. No one knows what the test will be like, so we don't know what we can do with the information I gathered that morning. Michael and Sarah seemed impressed I was capable of deducing the Dauntless born initiates. But it doesn't matter, we can't form a plan without knowing what is waiting for us later today.

It makes me nervous.

At eight o'clock sharp our two instructors show up at our room. I feel like laughing to release some of the stress, but I manage to keep my mouth shut. Everyone is looking at Four and Eric with scared eyes. They noticed, but don't address it: "We leave in fifteen minutes. We are going outside, so I suggest you graph something warm. You don't need anything else. We meet on the train. Anyone who isn't on it, will automatically be eliminated from the test, so be on time!"

After that they leave. We don't get an explanation of where we are going or what we are going to do.

"I don't like this. We are leaving the compound," Annie says. She is shaking slightly. She is right. I don't like this either. Where are we going and what are we going to do there?

"Don't sweat it, we are going to together. We can watch each other's back. We just need to be on our guard for those Dauntless kids," Marc says and tries to lifts our spirits. It helps a bit, but we still leave with a heavy feeling in our stomach. Half our group can be gone at the end of today. The question is, who will be gone?

The Dauntless born are already on the platform when we arrive. They are laughing and talking really loud. My eyes cross with Michael. We understand what they are trying to do. They are trying to intimidate us. One look at Marnie, Sarah and Annie and we call tell its working. Why would they need to psych us out? Unless they aren't as tough as they appear to be. Four and Eric are talking with the Dauntless born trainer, Lauren. She seems to be just as confident as her initiates.

"Is it just me or do these people seem to confident," Michael whispers into my ear. He is right. They all believe they are already part of Dauntless and that this is just a formality. They think they are already in: "We could exploit their overconfidence."

"I was thinking the same thing," I whisper back.

The headlights of the train makes the platform go quite. Everyone starts to run. The Dauntless born are the first to jump in the only open compartment. There is only one compartment? Everyone has to get into that one?

It doesn't take the Dauntless born to get in. They are used to it. Before initiation they came to school with the train every day. They probably learned to jump on and off a train when they were ten.

Annie is the first one of or group to jump on, followed by Rob, Kim and Marnie. Michael and I run last, along with Four. Michael's eyes meet mine and he grins: "Care to make a scene?"

"Just be ready to pull me in," I say and slow down a bit, so that Michael and Four run past me, the last one eying me suspiciously. When Michael climbs into the compartment, I pick up my pace again. This is kind of risky. If I miss the train, I am done for. I cannot believe I am actually back in the same position as last time. I hope Michael keeps his worth. Maybe he's trying to get rid of me. But why would he do that? He gains nothing from it.

"Andy! Hurry up!" Michael shouts at me and I can see a few faces look at me, thru the window. Kim and Lucas are standing behind Michael, holding him steady so that he doesn't fall out of the compartment. I graph his hand at the end of the platform and they pull me in. I could hear the Dauntless laugh among each other and my friends eyed me suspiciously. I winked and turn to Michael, who is breathing just as hard as I am: "You think they bought it?"

"You bet. I think their egos are reaching new heights," Michael grins at me and we get up. My friends ask me if I am okay and I assure them, talking just loud enough for the Dauntless born to hear: "I'm fine. I guess catching a train isn't my thing." I smile sweetly, to sweetly. My friends understand that Michael and I are up to something. They play along.

"That's okay Andy, you'll get the hang of it," Victor reassures me and I feel kind of sick to my stomach, hearing him talk like that to me, but I just smile. I turn around and notice the questioning eyes of Four and Eric. They could tell something was up as well. How could they not?

"Listen up!" Lauren shouts above the noise the train is making. We all gather around her. Dauntless born on the left and transfer initiates on the right. Lauren is sitting on a box that is labeled paintballs.

Paintballs? What are we going to do with those?

"You are probably all wondering where we are going and what we are going to do, well guess what…it's evaluation time," Lauren says and she has a mean smirk hanging on her lips. No one says anything. It was rather obvious that this has to do with the test: "During the test one third of this entire group will fail and become factionless. Now I bet you are all wondering how we are going to evaluate you. We are going to play a little game."

Lauren taps the box she is sitting on and the Dauntless kids get excited. A paintball fight is the only logical thing I can come up with that will decide who gets to stay, but it sounds so childish.

"You will be divided into two teams and the point of the game is to capture the flag of the other team. The winning team gets to stay and goes on to the next stage of initiation. The team that loses will be evaluated based on their accomplishments from the last couple days. Half of that group will leave Dauntless," Lauren explains.

I can feel my brain go into an overdrive. Two teams against each other, capturing the flag. Winning team stays in Dauntless. But we will probably be mixed during this test. I can't work with the other initiates. I don't know how they work, think or move. I don't know if I can rely on them. I am not the only one analyzing the situation. I can tell by the look on Sarah and Michael's face they are also thinking how we can best approach this situation. Even the twins have weary looks on their faces.

"The teams will be even matched and the first team gets of first to hide their flag. The second team will get off at the end of the railroad. At nine o'clock sharp the game begins," Lauren continues her speech, but I barley hear any of it. Two teams. I don't want to be split up from my friends. How can I make sure we can stay together? We can only stay together if we challenge the Dauntless born initiations. The transfers against the Dauntless born.

Would they go for it? What would the others say?

"This is a Dauntless tradition, so we take this very serious," Lauren looks at our group.

Can I take the risk? Will the others thank me for it?

I lean forward and whisper to Sarah and Michael: "I have a plan, but it might be risky."

"Does it involve us staying together?" Sarah asks me and I nod. I can tell that Michael has the same plan as me. It must be an Erudite thing. He leans closer to Lucas, who is standing next to him. He passes my message on and the Sarah does the same thing. After a few seconds everyone one of them is looking at me and nods. Michael leans closer to me: "Do it."

"Let's divide the teams, shall we," Lauren says. She jumps up from her box and stands next to Eric and Four. I take a step forward: "Why not just take the teams that are already standing in front of you?"

Everyone turns to me and I see Four smile. He's catching on with my plan. I can tell by the expressions on the Dauntless born faces that they agree with me, but they don't want to surrender without a fight. Eric and Four don't say anything, but Lauren does: "The teams wouldn't be evenly matched."

I am not sure if she was referring to our numbers or to the fact that we are transfers and have only been training a couple of days for this.

"Why don't you let us be the judge of that? Let's face it, none of us want to work with members of the other team," I explain. I hope they go for it. Lauren doesn't seem to be happy and I can't make out what Four and Eric think about the situation. The Dauntless born agree with me and Lauren turns to her fellow Dauntless trainers. Michael takes a step forward: "If you let us take the test in these team, you have a big chance of being able to rub in Eric's and Four's faces that you are a better trainer. You'll be able to do that an entire year long."

That seemed to spice up Laurens interests. How could it not? How sweet would it be if you could rub something like this in someone's face for an entire year and I am sure that she doesn't like Eric as much as she is pretending right now.

"If you are really that scared, we will give you Eric gladly," I add and get a dirty look from the man, but my friends snicker. Lauren seems insulted by the idea and so do the Dauntless born initiates. They look at each other and nod. Lauren steps forward.

"New rules, Dauntless born initiates against the transfer initiates. You can have both Eric and Four, considering we have more initiates. Let the best team win," Lauren says and she looks pumped to win this game. Let's just hope their overconfidence becomes their downfall.

"Graph a gun transfers, you can get of first," Lauren says and we do as she says. A minute later we jump of the train and the Dauntless born leave our vision and we form a circle.

"So what is the plan," Marc asks and everyone turns to me.

"We only have one advantage over the Dauntless born," I start explaining: "We are able to work as a team. They aren't. They pretend to be a team, but it's fake. They just do it to psych us out." I explain again what I saw that morning and Michael and Sarah agree with me. They have noticed it too: "They are completely underestimating us and that will make them reckless."

"I agree, I expect them to all charge at us at the same time, leaving their flag only guarded by one or two people," Sarah says and the others agree. Four and Eric stay out of the conversation. They let us handle it: "We should put up a good defense, but we need fast people to infiltrate their camp and get their flag. I don't think they know how fast we can be."

"The physical strong should stay here and guard the flag. Those Dauntless born all look strong, but I don't think they know how to use their strength to their advantage," I continue and Lucas agrees: "Yes, they all act loud and big, but I bet it's just an act."

"Exactly and we are going to exploit that. They already think they have won. Let's prove them their wrong," I say and we start to formulate a plan. We hang the flag in a tree. Three people stay close to it: Lucas, Victor and Marc. We decide that we can use Michael's brain better when we infiltrate enemy territory. Marnie and Kim will place themselves in the middle of both camps. They will try to stop most of them and they can warn the others that the Dauntless born are coming. Annie will place herself in between the girls and the guys and act as an extra barrier. She will hide in a tree, so no one will see her. Michael, Sarah and I will head towards the flag: "We should split up though. If we are ambushed, it will be over for us."

"Maybe one of us should infiltrate from the left and the other two should attack from the right. Maybe one team can use the railroads. I don't think the Dauntless born would use those," Sarah suggests and I think it over. I agree with her, but it is very risky. The railroads are very open and if you are seen, you don't have a lot of places to hide.

"I would stay clear from the railroads. It's to open, too much of a risk," Victor says and most of our team agree with him. But we need something that gives us the advantage. Something high, low or dark.

"Not that I want to tell you what to do, but I really want to beat Lauren. There is a sewer system you could use. It would bring you close to the end of the railroad track," Four advices us. That would work. It would be dark and underground. I don't think…"

"Lauren knows about the sewer system and she has used it before. I'm pretty sure she will do it again," Eric chips in. Well, there goes that plan.

"Do you know where they came back up?" I ask. We could ambush them easily if we know where they would pop back up. I can imagine the look of shock on their faces. Eric grins: "Of course I do."

"We should place one person there," Michael says and Sarah offers to do it. Four goes with her. Michael will attack along the line of trees of our right. It will give him a lot of cover and he can easily attack from the dark if needed.

"We only have two options. We either risk the railroad or the sewer system. Which are the Dauntless born most likely to use," Kim asks us and I think it over. If Eric is right and they use the sewer system, then no one will be watching the train tracks. It would be stupid to go down in the sewer if there is a big chance that the Dauntless born will be there. We won't be able to hide if we encounter them.

"Lauren likes to attack from below, I would bet my money on the fact that they will use the sewers," Eric says. It's decided. I'll infiltrate using the train tracks. Everyone knows what to do, except for Eric. If he ends up tagging along me with me, I will scream. But apparently it's already decided. Before I can protest, Michael uses logic against me and it infuriates me: "Why would he come with me? I am stronger and faster than you and I have a better aim. It's the most logical thing that he would come with you."

The others don't give me a choice in the end and I get stuck with Eric. He isn't happy about it either, but it was made clear that we were allowed to make all the decisions and Four and Eric would follow. Imagine how big my shock was when Eric actually does as he his told. Must be a soldier thing. We wait till Four's clock hit's nine and then we spread out. We stick together until it's time for Eric and me to split from Michael. From that point it's just me and the big guns.

This is going to be fun.


	14. Chapter 14

**Thank you for the reviews and followers so far. Feel free to leave a review at the end of this chapter to let me know what you think. If you find any typo's, feel free to point them out, so that I can fix them.**

**I don't own Divergent, I only own my OC's**

* * *

**Chapter 14**

"You are impossible!" I yell at Eric and throw my fist at his arm. He barely felt it, but it felt good me to release anger. This man is infuriating. We lasted ten minutes. Ten whole minutes we were quiet and avoided looking at each other or any other form of communication. Then I happened to look a second to long at him and boom! It started with a round of saying _what_ and not receiving a dignified response. Then we started mocking each other and then we somehow ended up calling each other names. I know it's extremely childish, but I can't help myself. This man is so annoying and his near present ticks me off. What were the others thinking, making him come with me? I would have been fine on my own. I would have probably already been in enemy territory.

"I am impossible? What about you! Is it so hard for you to actually act like a normal person?" Eric throws back at me. He walks towards me and I end up having the nerve to actually not move. His body towers over mine. I have to tilt my head back to look him in the eye. He is breathing heavily, telling me I should watch out. As usually, I ignore that piece of information.

"Says the one who can't get over his own ego! You know, I finally understand why they made you our supervisor. It's not because you are a Dauntless leader, it's because they wanted to get rid of you!" I yell in his face and I seemed to have hit a nerve. His hands grab my shoulders and I have to use all my strength to not make him push me back.

"Don't you dare to…" He starts using his slow voice, what signals me to watch out. The last time when he used that, he nearly punched me. The only reason he didn't do it was because off Four. He isn't here right now, so I'm basically screwed.

Of course that doesn't stop me.

"What? I hid a nerve? Good! You disserve it, you oversized…" I wasn't done yelling at him, when all of a sudden his eyes change and he places a hand over my mouth. I panic for a second and then I realize that something is going on. Eric's body tenses and it's not because of me.

"What is that noise?" he asks, not really pointing the question to me. I hear it to, but I can't seem to place it. Can't he just take his hand of my face? This isn't exactly comfortable. He doesn't move and I end up doing the only thing I can think off. I lick his hand. I try not to pay attention to what his hand tasted like or the smell for that matter and I spit when his hand finally get's of my face. He sends ma a glare and whips the spit of on my jacket: "You are disgusting."

"Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror? You aren't exactly prince charming either," I spit back, but Eric lets it go. He's scanning the area, but he can't find the source of the noise. I feel the tracks beneath me tremble all of a sudden.

Wait a minute…

I turn around and see two headlights coming around a corner. It's a train. The noise we are hearing is from an approaching train. I grab Eric's hand and pull him forward. There is a pillar we can climb down a few meters ahead. Eric seems to understand my train of thoughts.

The train is approaching us fast and we are sprinting towards the pillar. My legs start to hurt from the sudden activity and my lungs are burning. We reach the pillar and I want to climb down it, more like jump down, when Eric's arm laces itself around my stomach and he pulls me back. I don't understand what he's doing. All I see is the head lights from the train coming extremely close.

To close.

I look at Eric and see him climbing down the pillar. Did he just really pull me back so that he could go first? Is he that selfish? I told you he is impossible! I feel like screaming at him, but the train is to close. I want to climb down, but there isn't any time anymore. What should I do? Jump? I'll never survive such a jump.

"Jump!" Eric yells and I barely hear him over the noise of the approaching train. He can't be serious? He holds one arm out to me, while the other is holding him steady against the pillar. Does he want me to jump in his arms? I can feel my heart skip a few beats and my lungs aren't allowing me to breathe anymore.

The train keeps approaching. Ten meters.

I look at Eric and he yells again: "Jump!"

Five meters

I can't think this over anymore. I need to jump.

Three meters.

I don't trust him to catch me, but the approaching train doesn't give me much of a choice.

My eyes lock with Eric's. A flicker appears in his eyes and I jump. My arms find a way around his neck and I feel his outstretched arm wrap itself around my waist. My heart skips a beat as I feel his heart beat against my chest. His heart beat was steady, almost calm, while mine was beating at an unhealthy pace. He must be used to situations like these: stay calm, think fast and take action.

I guess it was smart of him to climb down first. If I went first, he wouldn't have had enough time to climb down and the train would have hit him. The blow would have most likely killed him. If not, the fall from the pillar would have.

The train races past us and after a few seconds the silent night returns. It doesn't feel natural. I feel like at any moment there could be a potential life ending threat approaching us.

My heartbeat calms down and my lungs are celebrating the sudden serenity I am giving them. My body trembles as the situation catches up to me. I just jumped from a bridge and hoped that the men, who I always fight with, would catch me. I have never taken such a risk in my life. Eric could have let me fall and I would be dead. Or maybe he wasn't able to grab me and I would have fallen. Why did I trust him? I guess I didn't have a choice. It was him or the train and his frame seemed far more welcoming that the frame of that train. I think the flicker in his eyes made me jump in the end. That and the life stealing train.

"Are you still alive?" Eric's voice whisper in my ear and I restrain myself from saying no. I am not going to give him the satisfaction of knowing that this has been the scariest moment of my life. And I had to go thru it with him, the Dauntless leader I can't stand.

"Sort of," I end up answering and I feel his arm tighten around my waist as he holds me. It hadn't downed on me yet how close we were, how our bodies were pressed up against each other. I have never been this close with a man. I can't believe it's him I am pressed against. I could feel his muscles move as he makes himself ready to climb down. He is going to need both arms to do that. I am not sure I like his safe arm leaving my waits. It gave me a sense of security. I am going to fall while he holds me. It was safe while he hold me. I shake my head to get rid of those taught. They make me feel uncomfortable and scare me a bit as well. I couldn't possible ever feel anything for this man. It's just too ridiculous for words. But then why is my heart beating faster again, when I think how he is holding me?

"I need you to hold on to me. I'm going to climb down. You ready," Eric says and I tighten my grip on his neck. His arm leaves my waits and I feel cold. The sudden lack of physical exercise is probably responsible for that. It's the only logical explanation.

I can feel ever muscles in Eric's body move as he climbs down the pillar. He doesn't complain about my weight and it doesn't take him long before his feet touch the ground. I don't feel like letting go. A reassuring hand crawls up my back. His hand feels warm. I have to focus on breathing, because it starts to hitch every now and then. A set of lips are pressed up against my ears: "Are you just going to keep hanging there the whole night?"

"I'm good," I joke and feel my body relax. My arms slowly loosen and Eric's hand on my back stops me. My eyes lock with his and I can see a smile starting to form on his face: "I didn't expect you to be scared of a little jump."

"A little jump? A little jump!" I raise my voice and am about to bring up our discussion up again, when he smiles and leans his head on my shoulder. He sighs: "Do you ever stop?"

"No, why would I? I am such a joy to be around," I joke and let my angry thoughts go. The arm, holding me against Eric his frame looses and I can feel my feet touch the ground. It gives me a very safe feeling. I have never been so happy before in my life to feel the ground beneath my feet. It feels good to have some distance between us though. I try to ignore the fact that I was a few seconds ago clinging to his frame and look at the train tracks: "Maybe we should just walk down here from now on."

Eric nods and we start walking again. We don't talk for awhile and I can tell we are both trying to ignore each other. My thoughts keep going back to Eric's body and the way it felt pressed up against mine. I don't need this right now. I need to focus. I want to win this game and go on to the next stage of initiation with my friends.

"Stop," Eric suddenly says and I stop next to him. I don't feel like arguing with him right now. I feel exhausted actually. My legs hurt and a headache is starting to nest its way into my brain. Eric points up ahead. There is light and we can see people walking. They're coming our way!

I scan the building around us and see a broken window on my left. I grab Eric's elbow, avoiding his hands and pull him towards it. We can take shelter in it and attack from the dark. They won't be able to see us. I crawl thru the glass, followed by Eric. We grab our paintball guns and place ourselves in the corners of the window. Eric on one side, me on the other.

We wait in silence. My heartbeat is the only thing I can hear. We see people walk past the building we were earlier standing at. There are two of them. I lift my gun and aim, but Eric signals me to wait. Of course, they can run back and take cover easily from where they are standing now.

"Wait until they reach the pillar," Eric whispers and he keeps his gun steady. I wonder how many times he has done something like this in real life. With real bullets. I turn my attention back to our attackers. I hope I can hit them. I have gotten pretty good with a gun, but I'm still not that great.

"I'll fire first. I'm pretty sure your aim will be better than mine when the other guy starts running," I whisper back. I hate that I have to admit to him that I am still not great with a gun, but he doesn't say anything about it. He just nodes: "Wait till the last possible moment."

I wait. I keep my breathing steady and keep my eyes focused on one guy. They are talking, but we can't make out what they are saying. My hands aren't shaking, what is a good sign. I feel calm actually, considering the situation.

"Are you sure you heard something?" one Dauntless kid asks the other. He sounds annoyed. The other is scanning the area. His eyes fall on our hideout. I keep absolutely quite and aim for his chest. It's the widest part of his body and I will have the most success if I aim for that.

"Skander, come on. There isn't anyone here," the annoyed Dauntless kids whines and starts walking away. Skander waits for a few seconds before giving up. He turns around.

"Now," Eric says and within less than a second I pull the trigger and I see a big red mark cover Skander's back. The impact from the bullet makes him stumble and his friend turns around and he tries to aim his gun, but he gets hit by Eric. The man moves quickly and climbs back thru the window. I follow him. He has more knowledge about situations like these, so I should trust him for the moment. The guys see us approaching. The whinny one wants to say something, but Eric aims at his head: "Talk and I will shoot at your head. It won't kill you, but it will hurt like hell."

A shiver runs down my back as I hear him speak. He is so serious. His eyes are focused on his target and I can tell the guy is about to wet himself. The other one, Skander, lifts his hands. He surrenders. His friend follows.

We walk past them and leave them behind. They stay quite. Lauren explained that if you got shot during the game, you die. If that happens, you stay at the spot where you died and wait for the game to end. It is considered a cowards act if you yell to warn your friends once you are dead in the game.

I run after Eric and we keep our guns ready to be used. We hear laughter. We must be getting close to their flag. Between the buildings we see four people walking and talking. They aren't paying much attention to their surroundings. They are a pretty open target if we can aim at them from above. I turn my head and see a lower ladder. It leads to the roof of a container. It's high enough for us to lie on and aim at them. If we stay really quite, we should be able to hit them. The only problem is there are four of them and only two of us. If we shoot, they will run and two people can easily get away and disappear between the buildings. Then they will know we are here and they will be on their guard.

We need to avoid that situation.

I can see the flag, hanging from a pole. Two Dauntless kids are sitting against it. They're paintball guns lying besides them. Maybe if one of us attacks from here and the other one attacks them from behind, we might have a shot. They are most likely going to disappear between the buildings behind them when we start shooting at them.

I explain to Eric my plan in hush towns. I don't like how close we are standing, but it will have to do for now. He nodes and signals that he will climb up the container. I run silently towards one of the buildings behind the pole. I can hide in the shadows of the building. There is some light coming from where the Dauntless kids are sitting, but it shouldn't give my presence away. I lay down on my stomach. A low target is a harder target to hit from afar, especially when it's hiding in a dark environment. I place my gun and take slow breaths. Eric will shoot first. I hope our plan works. I really want to win and frankly I want this to be over.

I wait for what feels like hours. What if Eric has been shot? What if they noticed him? I can't imagine the Dauntless born to be silent victors, but maybe they would realize that we are a bigger threat than they expected.

I wait and wait until I hear a scream.

Eric must have shot someone. Two shadows run between the buildings and I wait for them to get away from the opening. They can't see me. They ready themselves to go back out there and attack Eric, but I act first. I aim for the one standing the farest away from me and shoot. I hit him on his arm. He shrieks from surprise and his friend turns around quickly. I aim for him, but he moves to fast for me to hit him. He shoots towards me while he runs, but his bullets don't even come near my figure.

_Click_!

I am out of bullets! What do I do now? The guy shooting at me notices that I stopped firing at him. He stands still and aims for me in the dark. I lie still on the ground and pray to a higher power that he doesn't hit me. I really want to win this!

_Click_!

My eyes closed when he pulled the trigger. I was so convinced that I was done for, but the guy standing in front of me was also out of bullets. He wasted them. I get up and run towards him. There is only one way I can win from him now and that fight him. The guy is big and looks strong. Then maybe he isn't fast. I lift my fist at him and go in for the punch, but he blocks it easily. I keep my feet moving and soon discover that speed isn't this guy's talent. I just need to hold on and then an opening will present itself. I keep throwing punches at him from different angles and he keeps blocking them. I also notice that doesn't use his feet. He stands practically still.

I wait and fight.

After a minute I see an opening. His arm is wide open. I go for it. I reach it, but he seems to know what I'm doing and he lets me grab his arm. When I want to turn my body and pull him over my shoulder, he kicks my knee from behind, making me fall down. I felt my knee throbbing. It hurt a lot. I get up quickly, before his fist connects with my face. I am able to place myself behind him and I place my foot in front of his, making him fall on his stomach. I jump on his back and punch him square in the face.

I forgot one important detail. We weren't fighting until the first punch was blown to the face. We were fighting until one person was unconscious. I have never punched someone so hard or so many times that they felt unconscious. I am not sure I can do that. The guy beneath me uses my withering attention to his advantage and turns the tables. He pins me to the ground and I couldn't move beneath him. He puts a lot of pressure on my wrists. I pull my legs up, but they don't collide with his back.

This is just like my fight with Michael. Damn it! What can I do? I cannot get lose and I cannot attack him from any angle. I am done for and it's going to hurt. The guy pulls his fist up and I feel my eyes close, afraid for the threatening danger that I can't avoid. But he doesn't move and I feel something wet drop on my cheek. I open my eyes and see the guys face is covered in red paint. Someone from my team shot him? I am saved? Wow, talk about cutting it close!

I can tell the guy isn't happy, but he is able to lower his fist. He gets of me and sits down on the ground. He knows he lost. He and his friend are out and Eric probably took out the other two Dauntless born.

"I didn't figure you as the type that needed saving every hour," Eric says as he walks over to me. I get up and see he isn't covered in paint. Of course he isn't. I still feel relieved.

"We won," he says and I see Michael standing behind him, holding the green flag. We did it? We actually did it? We beat the Dauntless born at this game. That means all the transfer initiates get to stay and go on to the next stage of initiation. I feel like laughing and screaming and dancing, but I keep my cool and try to keep my voice even: "Yeah well what did you expect? I am awesome and can come up with the best plans."

Eric tries to control himself, but a small smile escapes his lips. He hangs his gun on his back and looks me in the eye: "Come here."

I am perplexed at his command and feel danger, so I naturally tense and keep my distance. I shake my head. Eric's smile gets bigger and he walks towards me. I feel like running, hard. But I am sure he can outrun me. I stand still and wait for the men to stand in front of me: "What are you…"

_Flick_!

A sudden sharp pain enters my forehead. That bastered flicked me, again? I feel like throwing myself at him and beat him senseless, but I restrain myself and decide that I will let him have this one. He did save me earlier and we didn't exactly make a bad team today. Well after the near death experience we managed to be able to work together. I guess we just need a little push or something.

Did I just really refer to a near death experience as a little push?


	15. Chapter 15

**Thank you for the reviews and followers so far. Feel free to leave a review at the end of this chapter to let me know what you think. If you find any typo's, feel free to point them out, so that I can fix them.**

**I don't own Divergent, I only own my OC's.**

* * *

**Chapter 15**

It turns out we did nearly lose at one point. The Dauntless kids had a better strategy then we suspected. Lauren did go into the sewer system with three Dauntless kids. She got a nasty surprise from Sarah and Four, who were able to take them all out. Six kids were left at the flag and were supposed to guard it. The others attacked us from the side that Michael was using to infiltrate them. He was luckily that he saw them coming and he could hide in a tree. He was completely outnumbered and wouldn't have been able to take them on, so he let them pass. They were able to take out Kim, Marc, Victor and Marnie. Lucas, Annie and Rob were defending the flag. They were lucky that Sarah and Four decided to join them. They basically saved everyone.

I was surprised to hear that so many of us were eventually taken out as well. I guess that I was probably a bit too confident as well. Michael told everyone how he saw me and Eric split up and he quickly understood our plan. He decided to wait and let Eric make the first move. When he fired at the Dauntless group. Two were able to escape, while Eric took care of the other two. The two that escaped ran towards me. Michael saw a perfect opening and ran to the flag.

How nice of him to let me take the beating while he acts the hero.

"So you managed to stay alive," Lucas asks me while we sit down on the train. The Dauntless kids were sitting in another compartment. They are less joyful right now and that gives me strength. I feel like I can do anything. If I lean on my friends I can achieve all my goals.

"Haha, really funny you guys," I punch Lucas his arm and the others laugh. They start sending each other looks and they seemed to be communicating something. What aren't they telling me?

"We might have made bets," Marnie says carefully and I sit up straight. I notice the others are avoiding my glares and I can see Four take a few steps away from Eric: "Bets on what exactly?"

"It wasn't my idea," Marnie says quickly. Her body language tells me she feels threatened. The question is why. What did they bet on?

"We might have made bets on whether or not you would still be alive at the end of the game," Victor explains. I eye him and my glare makes him uncomfortable. I can't believe my friends would make such a bet. Kim tries to reassure me: "It's not like we thought you would be the one to beat Eric up."

"No, we were just sure that you would end up annoying him so badly that he would kill you," Marc jokes and he gets a punch from Eric to his arm. The guy whines: "It's not like we were the only once! In fact it was Four's idea!"

"What!" Eric and I yell at the same time and glare at Four. He is trying to suppress a laugh, but his eyes are screaming how much he is enjoying this.

"You hold him down and I will punch him," I suggest to Eric and Four's smile drops from his face. He looks at Eric, but Eric just shakes his head: "Too many witnesses. We will ambush him like those Dauntless kids."

"Sounds like a good idea," I say and grin at Four. We didn't explain to them how we took care of the Dauntless kids we encountered. We also didn't tell them about what happened on the train tracks and I plan on keeping it that way. I could feel a small blush cover my cheeks as I think back at my body being pushed up against a man's body.

Annie jumps up suddenly: "So I think we need to celebrate tonight our victory! Who's up for cake and new tattoos?"

"I am thinking about getting one tonight. What about you?" Lucas whispers in my ear and I don't hear what plans the others are making. I had thought about it when we were walking back to our camp, when I took a rather long look at Eric's neck tattoo. It was pure for analytic reasons. I couldn't figure why he would get a tattoo like that.

He caught me staring.

The train stops at the Dauntless compound. We get off, my friends laughing while the Dauntless kids are quite. They go to their sleeping quarters and have to wait there while Lauren decides who gets to stay and who has to leave.

"Maybe, if I don't chicken out when seeing the needle," I laugh and sadly have to add that it wasn't a lie. Thinking about having a needle pierce my skin sends shivers down my back. Maybe I'll never get a tattoo or a piercing because of it. I will probably end up being the only un-inked and un-pierced Dauntless person in this compound.

"Don't worry, we will hold your hand," Lucas jokes and I smile at him. I think they would have to hold me down to get me to get a tattoo. Four heard our conversation: "Are you afraid of needles Andy?"

"No…," I say slowly, not really wanting to let Four and Eric know what I am afraid of, especially Eric. It's such a lame fear if you ask me. A needle, it doesn't do anything, except inject you with weird substances. Besides that the object is completely harmless.

"Don't worry initiate, we will hold you if you are really scared," Eric says and I understand the subtext of the comment, but Four and Lucas don't and they want an explanation. I try to give the man an angry glare, but I can feel a smile threatening to escape my lips. I slightly let it slip: "Well I know I can always count on you big guns."

Eric smirks, but stays quite. Four and Lucas don't understand, but they let it go. Half the group heads towards our room, to shower. The other half goes to the dining hall, to grab some cake. Michael and I are allowed to shower first because we were apparently the genius that saved our group tonight.

"It was your plan that kept us together and you two were the once who claimed their flag first," Marc tells me before I head towards the shower. The water washes a lot of stress away. I can enter the second round of initiation. I can stay with my friends, all my friends. I wonder what we will have to do in the next stage. Maybe we can survive it if we just work together? But to be honest I doubt we will be able to help each other in the next stage. It will be focused on emotional stuff. We will have to get thru this on our own. The victory of tonight gives me strength though. Whatever they make me face, I can handle it. I will become Dauntless. I want to become a part of this faction. I feel like I belong here. With every day that passes and with everything I learn, I feel like I truly belong here.

When I am done with showering I lay down on my bed. I might have survived the Dauntless test, but what am I going to do about my secret meeting at midnight. I don't know how I will be able to leave this compound unnoticed. And how will I get to 18the Street on time? I could take the train, but it would be easy to spot me. I don't know if the Dauntless watch the platform at night. I don't know how much these people work with security cameras. I realize that I don't know a lot about this compound and the people in it.

How will I handle tonight? Maybe I can convince the others to go to that bar again. They know I didn't like it, but they did. Maybe I con pursue them to go again and to celebrate our victory. If that works, I will be able to sneak out easily. I feel bad about planning on leaving my friends, but this is more important. I need to know what those people know about Divergent and if they know anything about the attack on Erudite.

I can't leave the compound thru the main entrance. There has to be another entrance, small and less known by the Dauntless. Maybe I can ask Four about that. If I just ask out of curiosity, he might tell me what I need to know. I can't ask Eric, because he will follow me without a doubt. It surprised me that he didn't mention our encounter on the roof during the game. He had plenty of opportunity, but he didn't.

"Andy, are you ready?" Rob shakes me out of my concentration. I grin and follow my friends to the pit. The others want to get tattoos and the girls are going to shoot an extra ring thru their ear. I shiver at the idea. I never got my ears pierced because of my fear of needles. It also seemed un-logic to do it. What is the point of getting your ears pierced? I usually wear my hair lose, so it hangs over my ears so you wouldn't even see the earrings.

I haven't been in the tattoo shop before. It's pretty dark and all the lights are red, giving the shop a red glow. It looks like a place I would forbid my little sister to go to. The shop is run by two people. I only meet one of them, Tori Wu. She seemed to recognize my friends. Apparently she did all their tattoos. She must be good.

Her partner, whose name I didn't catch, was working on a man in the next room. Marc, Victor and Michael were looking at piercings, while the girls were talking to Tori about getting their ears pierced. Lucas and I were looking at books, filled with pictures of tattoos.

There are so many. I will never be able to choose.

"It's best to pick a body part first and then look at the pictures," Rob says and I sit down in one of the chairs. Where would I want a tattoo? Do I even want one? I think I do. It is a Dauntless tradition and I want to uphold that tradition. I wonder if my grandmother ever had a tattoo and if she did I wonder what she got.

Where would I get a tattoo? On my arm, leg, back, chest, neck, face? So many possibilities. If I get a tattoo, I want to be able to cover it up when needed. So I don't want one in my neck or on my face. I also don't want one on my back, because I won't be able to see it. I am also not a fan of a tattoo on my legs, so that leaves me with my arms and chest.

It does sound kind of cool to have a tattoo on my chest.

A tattoo catches my attention. It's a small owl, spreading's its wings. His eyes are fierce and I end up having a hard time looking away. Owls are usually the symbol for wisdom. It seems fitting for me to have a tattoo of an owl. It can represent my past or that is what I will tell everyone. I will know it stands for my aptitude test. Maybe I should get tattoos of my results, I can easily lie what they stand for and only I will know the truth.

"Maybe I will get this one?" I tell Lucas and feel my heart beat faster. I am really going to do this. I am going to let a needle pierce my skin and I will be okay. Why shouldn't I be okay? These people have done this a million times. They know what they are doing.

"You should. It fits you. You are a smart cookie," Lucas says and shows me a picture of an eagle, with its wings spread out. He's thinking about getting it on his upper back: "It would represent freedom, making my own choices and deciding for myself where I belong."

"Deep, but it looks good," I tell him and we wait for Tori to be done with the girls. Lucas will go first. I try to stay calm while Lucas sits down and Tori graphs her needles. I focus my eyes on everywhere but Lucas and Tori, but the sound of the needles is driving me crazy. It sounds like a drill is being pushed against my ears.

After five minutes I can't take it anymore and wait outside. I try to shake the noises out of my head, but it isn't working. I watch people walk around the pit. Most of them are heading towards the pubs. The day is ending, so everyone is of course full of energy and ready to start an evening filled with full of laughter and probably alcohol.

"You aren't chickening out are you initiate," Eric's voice comes from behind me. He is standing in the tattoo shop, talking to Tori's partner. A bandage is covering his right forearm. I guess he got a new tattoo. He paid the man who made his tattoo and he walks out of the shop: "I didn't take you for the cowering type."

"Well I guess you don't know me that well then," I tell him, not knowing why I really want to get a tattoo. Do I want it because it's a tradition to these people? Do I really want to ink myself, for the rest of my life? Suddenly the tattoo I had chosen seemed stupid. Maybe I should get a tattoo that would symbolize my victory of tonight. And what was that exactly? My mind traveled back to the train pillar and a warm feeling started spreading throughout my stomach when I thought about Eric's arms around my small frame.

Wait, he thinks I'm though?

I eye him and he notices it. I don't pull my eyes away when his catches mine. I used to feel uncomfortable when his eyes caught mine, like he was trying to overpower me with them. Now I feel strangely calm and at ease. My irrational fear for needles was gone and I didn't hear the annoying sound of Tori's tools anymore.

My mind started drifting back to the pillar and the few seconds I was pushed up against his body. It's Eric's voice that brings me back to the present and I feel my cheeks heat up. I can't believe my mind is starting to…to… What is it trying to do?

"It only takes Tori a few minutes and then it's over," Eric tries to sound reassuring, but it doesn't help me. I feel my knees tremble. He stands beside me. I hadn't noticed before, but I am really short compared to Eric. Well, actually he's just big. His muscles and broad shoulders make him look big. Even Four seems skinny next to him and I have seen how strong he is during training.

"Yeah well I'm not a fan of objects piercing my skin," I try to joke to lighten my own mood, but it sounds lame. I try to focus my eyes on something else, so that I don't keep reminding his nice eyes.

A hand touches my lower back and I feel Eric leaning closer to me, his head next to mine, his lips touching my ear. My heart skips a beat and I hold my breath for some unknown reason. I caught myself wondering if he would take me back into his arms, but the idea sounded ludicrous.

"Don't do something you will end regretting initiate. It doesn't suit you," I felt my legs tremble and my skin heated up while Eric whispered in my ear. My hands itched and I had to focus to stand up straight. What is happening to me? This feeling inside of me isn't because of fear, but because of something else. Something I can't name.

"I'll think about it," I wisher back and feel his chest touch my back. I turn my head and I catch his eyes. I feel incredibly drown to him and that scares me. I feel myself enter an unfamiliar territory and I don't know what to do. I simple follow my gut. I have never simple followed my gut. I follow my brain. I gather the facts and decided on them what my action will be.

Eric is about to say something when his eyes caught something behind me. I couldn't tell what it was, but he suddenly pulls away from me and stands straight, breaking whatever was hanging between us. He nods and walks away, into a hallway I don't recognize.

That was weird. I stare after Eric for a few minutes, until Kim walks up to me. I tell her I am going to wait with my first tattoo: "I am just not sure what I want to get and I don't want to end up getting one I will regret later."

"That's okay. Maybe next time," Kim says and Marnie joins us: "Have you guy's seen Michael? He was standing next to me one minute and then the next minute he's gone."

Minute?

Hours?

What time is it! I have completely forgotten about my meeting! I have to leave now! I don't know how I will reach the platform without getting caught before the next train arrives. First things first.

"Let's head back to the bar from the other night," Marc's voice pulls me back to the conversation my friends were having. I hadn't even notice them all joining us outside the tattoo shop. Perfect. I already told Lucas and Victor that I didn't like the bar. I will be alone and can easily sneak out that way.

"You guys should go, I am going to bed. I am exhausted," I say and can tell that Rob, Annie and Lucas don't want me to leave. I give them a reassuring look, trying to convince them that I will be fine: "You guys go and have fun. Tell me all about it tomorrow."

"Are you sure Andy?" Lucas asks while the others start walking towards the bar. His brother waits for him up a head. I place my hand on Lucas his shoulder and smile: "Don't worry, I am going to crawl into bed. I think my body is finally catching up with my mind. I will see you tomorrow."

I walk towards our sleeping quarters and grab a sweater. It will be cold. On my way out my eyes find a clock. It's 11:15 pm already. I will have to hurry. I want to run but I don't know where I should run towards. I don't know any secret doors that lead to the train platform. I only know the head entrance and I will never get passed the Dauntless guards there.

What should I do?

Andy, think! Don't panic. There has to be more than one entrance to enter or leave this compound. Erudite had lots of secret doors that lead to other buildings or stairs that led outside the main building. The Dauntless compound is build around its center, the pit. That means that there will probably be three other entrances I can use. The main entrance is at the north side of the compound. I should try east or west. I think the south entrance will also be heavily guarded.

I navigate my way thru the compound and end up quickly in halls that are in the east side of the compound. I am lucky that most people are at the pit at the moment, else they would be suspicious of me being in these corridors. I haven't been here before.

Left, right, dead end, right again, steps that lead down, dead end again.

I repeat this cycle a few times, but I wasn't successful. Damn it! What should I do now? I keep running and soon my muscles start to protest. I have been using them to much today. My body needs rest, but I can't let this meeting slip by without knowing what it was about.

I run into another hallway that has a dead end. I turn around and want to run back, when I hear a noise behind me. It sounded like an old door being pushed open. I turn around and see a door, slightly pushed open at the end of the hallway. My body tenses and I scan the hall for people, but there is no one there. I walk slowly towards the door. My heart starts beating faster when I am about to pull the door open. I plant my feet firmly on the ground, ready for whoever is standing behind that door. I let go of the breath I was holding and pull the door open. My eyes try to find a figure but the hall behind the door is completely black.

"So they did contact you as well," Michael's voice enters my ears and I feel his hand grab my wrist and pull me into the darkness of the hall.


	16. Chapter 16

******I don't own Divergent, I only own my OC's.**

******Please review!**

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**Chapter 16**

"Michael? What are you doing here?" I ask the boy, while my eyes adjust to the darkness. After a few seconds I can locate his frame. The hall we are standing in is small and bearably lid. I can make out some stuff lying on the ground. I will have to look out where I place my feet.

"Probably the same thing as you," he answered me shortly and starts walking down the narrow corridor. What does he mean? There is no way that those people also contacted him. It is not possible, because that would mean…that would mean… he's Divergent. That would mean he is like me.

"And what do you think I am doing here?" I am not going to be the first one to say that I am Divergent. What if it's a trap? Maybe he is testing me for some reason. Why, I don't know. But this Divergent secret is too big to just blurt out. I follow Michael and come up with a back-up plan. If it turns out he's leaving the compound for a different reason, I can always tell him I miss my family and that I am going to visit them. 18the Street is nearby my apartment building. Actually our apartment building. Michael lived two floors above me.

Michael doesn't say anything and I decided to follow him. I can't picture him being Divergent, but it wouldn't be completely weird. He's one of the best initiates of our group, including the Dauntless born and he is really smart. Maybe his aptitude test results were Dauntless and Erudite, like me. I couldn't come up with another reason why Michael would be here. He doesn't talk about his family and I don't think he really misses his friends from Erudite, considering Sarah was his best friend. I also think he values our new friends a lot more then the once he had in Erudite. Whenever I saw them, they were always talking about science stuff, mostly human behavior related. I guess that's the reason he analyses people so much. If I remember correctly his grades were sky high in the classes that involved human behavior. In fact he was the teacher's assistant and I once saw him turn in an extra paper. He didn't need the extra grade, so I can only guess that he did it out of pure and general interest.

We make a few turns and end up at another door. It is open and I can feel the cold wind on my skin. It was pitch black outside. There were no street lights and the street was almost as small as the corridor we just walked thru. Michael scanned the street and then turned to me. His hands pulled me close to his body and he whispered in my ear: "Look, you and I seem to share a certain human characteristic. I am not going to name it, because I don't know who followed us and yes we are being followed. I suggest you play along until we can shake them off. I am hoping the train will do the trick."

I was stunned for second. I hadn't noticed anyone following us. Maybe it's Eric. He did leave on a suspicious way. Maybe he did hear what day the meeting was and decided to follow me. While I was looking for a way out of the compound, I hadn't checked to see if anyone was following me. I guess I will have to play the part and frankly I can only think of one excuse that would make whoever is following us leave. I can't believe I am going to do this. I stand on my toes and lay my arms around Michael's neck. I feel his chest being pressed up against mine and my mind wanders for a split second back to the pillar from earlier. I shake my head and try to focus on the situation I am currently in.

"I know a place where we can be alone," I say just loud enough to be heard by anyone who was standing near us. I pull my head back and Michael nods, catching on to my plan. I let go and he graphs my hand. It feels weird doing this. I am not entirely sure I like it. In fact I don't want him to hold my hand. His hand is sweaty. He must be nervous. I should be too, but for some reason I am more excited by the thought of someone following us and I am too curious about the meeting to be nervous.

We run out in to the street and Michael leads us to the train platform. We run thru a maze of short and narrow streets, but we don't see anyone. This must be an abandoned part of the city. It's a good thing the factionless live near Abnegation, else we might run into some unfavorable people, of whom I am not sure what they are capable of.

We end up beneath the train platform. We climb next to each other in silence, but both our eyes are scanning the area for movement. We don't see any. Maybe Michael was wrong about someone following us. During our run towards the train platform, I tried to find some proof of anyone following us, but I didn't find anything. Maybe Michael thought he heard or saw something. It happens sometimes that you imagine things when you are nervous or scarred. I can't really picture Michael as scarred though. He always looked to me like someone who was in full control of himself and his emotions.

Michael reaches the platform first and he pulls me up. I let him help me, trying to seem convincing to whoever is watching us. His hands finds mine again as we wait for the train. I take a look at Michael's watch. It reads 11:38 pm. We are going to cut it close. 18the Street is at least a mile away from the train platform in the Erudite section. And that is if the train shows up within the next five minutes.

"I don't suppose you know when the train will arrive here," Michael whispers in my ear. His breath sends a shiver down my spine, but it's different from when Eric had done it. It was sort of enjoyable when Eric's breath had hit my skin, but when Michaels breathe hit my neck, it made me want to pull away as quickly as possible.

I shake my head. I lace my arm around his and lay my head to rest on his shoulder. At least this way I don't have to feel his skin touch mine. My mind wonders to the meeting waiting for us. I wonder who will be there. Who are those people? Are they also Divergent? What if it is a trap? Maybe they found out that I am Divergent and want to lure me away from the compound to take care of me in secret. What if that Abnegation woman told someone or someone made her talk. It would go against all her believes, so I don't think she would talk freely about it. But they also contacted Michael and he seems to trust this meeting or at least wants to check it out. He doesn't seem like someone who would go if he doubted these people their intentions.

Headlights catch my attention and I see the train enter the train station of the Dauntless compound. My eyes catch Michaels: "There' no going back once we are on that train."

He nods and we start running alongside the train. We climb in quickly and it doesn't hit me until later that I actually managed to get on the train without help this time. I stay near the door and watch the platform. I don't see anyone get on the train and we soon leave the platform. I guess it's safe to say that we made it out of the Dauntless compound without anyone following us. I sit down next to Michael.

"So who do you think these people are?" I ask, trying to start the conversation. I want him to mention the Divergent thing first. I am still wary about his intentions and I don't want to get caught on some kind of recording machine he might be carrying. I don't think he would frame me, not after the last couple of days, but it doesn't hurt to be cautious.

"They are probably like us, hiding in factions. I am more curious to how they found out about us and what they want from us," Michael answers me, not mention the Divergent word. I catch his eyes and I can tell he's feeling the same way as me. I sigh: "Are we really going to keep analyzing each other until we reach our destination?"

"Probably, unless you want to mention your plans first," Michael answers me flatly. I stare at the train door in front of me and see the city lights flash by. I guess I should feel comfortable knowing that he doesn't want to tell me either where he's going. That must mean that it is a big secret and the only thing I can come up with that could link us and explain this situation, is that he's Divergent.

"I got Erudite and Dauntless," I state after a few minutes. The words sort of found their own way out of my mouth. I don't look at Michael, afraid of what I might find in his eyes. This is the moment where either he becomes my ally or my enemy.

"I would have thought that you would have ended up with Abnegation, the way you put our needs in front of yours," Michael tells me and smiles. Technically I did get Abnegation and Candor, but he doesn't need to know that just yet.

"I got Erudite and Candor," Michael says after another minute. Candor? I would have never guessed that. I would say he fits in with Dauntless more, but then again I don't know Michael that well: "Why did you pick Dauntless then?"

"It is the only place where I can learn to defend myself. I wanted to stay in Erudite, but it's dangerous there for people like us," Michael explains. My mind wondered back to my conversation with Marie. How does he know something is going on?

"My mom was also like us. I was told she was killed by a factionless man," Michael starts explaining and I can feel his body get tense. He was feeling uncomfortable while he told me this, what was understandable. I am not good with grieving people, mainly because I have never met anyone who was grieving. I grieved alone when my grandmother died and when my grandfather died I didn't feel so sad about it. I guess my Erudite mind explained to me that they were old and it's the natural order of things. In fact I have never really thought about death before. I do the only thing I know that I can do to help Michael. I lay my hand on his shoulder.

"You heard about the attack from the factionless a few days ago, right," Michael asks me and I nod. So he did hear about it too. I wonder if Sarah heard about it too. I remember him acting weird during our training after the attack. Maybe this had something to do with it.

"When my dad came to visit me on visiting day he told me the truth. My mom was killed by a Dauntless soldier, working for someone in Erudite. Dad didn't know who, but he warned me to watch my back while I am here. He thinks there are spies working in Dauntless for Erudite," Michael tells me. His story seemed to connect with what Marie told me. I tell him what Marie told me and I can see his brain trying to figure out what is going on in our old faction.

"You think they are targeting your parents?" Michael asks when I am done explain him my story. I nod. I don't think they are targeting my parents, I know they are doing that. They seem to know something and I bet it has something to do with something that Jeanine doesn't want the public to know. Maybe it has something to do with Divergents.

"I have to admit, it feels good knowing that I am not the only Divergent in our group," Michael grins slightly and I agree. I have an alley in the compound, who I can tell everything. I know I can count on the others, but I cannot involve them in this Divergent thing, because I don't trust them with this kind of information. It's a selfish thought, but I can't change it. This secret could get me killed. Especially now that Dauntless seems to be involved somehow.

"We should jump of here. We can land on that roof and climb down the stairs. If we go to the Erudite station we might get caught and we will have to walk further," Michael suggests. His watch reads 11:54 pm. We can't afford losing more time. We will have to jump, but the jump is pretty far. The gap between the train and the roof is bigger than the one I had to jump with Rob on my first day as Dauntless.

"You think we can make it? It's a rather big jump," I say and catch my voice tremble slightly. I feel my knees shake slightly at the thought of having to jump, but a tiny part of me is also excited. It's a combination that makes me unsure of deciding if this jump is wise.

"You're not scared are you," Michael teases me and he places himself at the door. The roof is coming close and I stand next to him. If I don't reach the roof, it will be a long way down. The street below us was barely lid so I couldn't see the ground, but it would surely kill me.

"Just a bit," I admit and see Michael bracing himself to make the jump. He turns to me and grins: "Why would you? We are Divergent. The rules of this world don't affect us. Don't think, just jump."

And with that he was gone. He landed on his feet, ungracefully. I was alone on the train now. It's now or never. If I don't jump, I won't make it to the meeting and I am not sure if Michael will tell me about it afterwards. I take a few steps back and ignore the voices in my head telling me not to jump. I start running and soon I am flying thru the air. It is cold and everything seems to be going in slow motion. I can see Michael and the roof edge is coming close to me. I start to panic. The edge is coming close to me, to close.

I am not going to make it. I didn't jump far enough. I will fall and become a pancake. I cannot let that happen. This is not how it will end for me. My body will not reach the roof, but maybe my hands can graph the edge. I can climb on the roof that way or Michael can pull me up. I brace myself for the painful impact I will make with the building and I concentrate on my hands. All I need to do is graph the edge.

My hands make contact with the cold, hard wall and I have to use all my power to not let go. My knees are scratched open and I can feel blood trail down my leg. My head also makes a rather unpleasant connection with the building. I tried to keep my head back, but the impact with the wall made it go forward and collapse with the wall. Thankfully it wasn't hard enough to knock me unconscious, but I could feel a headache form and a bloodstream was trailing down the left side of my face.

"Andy!" Michael shouts and his face enters my vision. He graphs my arms and pulls me up. I place my feet against the wall and soon I feel gravel beneath me. I let go of the air I had been holding since I had jumped from the train.

"That was a close one. I thought you hadn't made it," Michael says and I can hear concern in his voice. I stand up and shake my head: "For a second I thought I wasn't going to make it. If you hadn't been here to help me, I would have fallen. Thanks."

"Don't mention it," Michael smiles reassuring and we start climbing down the stairs. I wipe the blood from my face and ignore the pain coming from my knees. Running is going to be painful.

"We have 3 minutes to reach 18the Street. Do you think you can run?" Michael asks me and he eyes my knees concerned. I give him a reassuring smile: "Don't sweat it. We have been beaten up worse the last couple of days. I will be fine."

We start running. It feels weird being back in the Erudite section. I recognize the streets. Sometimes I would help mom and dad deliver packages to other research centrums. Marie would usually join with me. Dad said it was a good way for us to learn our way around the Erudite section. Seeing these familiar places sends a pang of guilt to my stomach. I wonder how mom and dad are doing. I hope they are safe. I hope Marie stays out of trouble as well.

We near the meeting point and I graph Michaels arm. I make him stop running and signal him to be quite. I look for something that can give me the higher ground, to scan the area. An old and broke staircase catches my eyes. It is hidden in the shadows, so whoever is waiting for us will not see me.

"Wait here," I tell Michael and walk to the staircase. I slowly climb on it, trying not to make a sound. When I reach the top, I can see the cross point of 18the and 19the Street. It is the meeting point. One figure is standing there. He seems to be alone. I think it's a man, judging by this body structure. It suddenly downed on me that maybe we sound have brought weapons with us. What if these people attack us? We can only fight with our fists and run. I climb back down and join Michael: "There is one man standing on the cross point, with a black hood. I suspect he is here for us. What should we do?"

"We came all this way. I say we just walk up to him and see what happens," Michael sounds confident. His words make the doubt leave my body and we walk around the corner. Michael whistles and the man turns to face us. He pulls his hood back and it reveals a dark skinned man, with short black hair. We walk closer to him and his clothes reveal that he isn't part of any faction. He's factionless.

"I wasn't sure you would come," the man speaks with a very low voice. He doesn't make any sudden movements. Michael and I eye each other, not knowing what do to now that we made contact.

"We should leave the streets. It's not safe, follow me," the man spoke and he started walking towards a narrow alley, where the factionless used to live before they moved to Abnegation. We follow the stranger at a distant. He leads us to an abandoned warehouse. My eyes keep searching for other people, but we seem to be alone. After a few minutes the man stops at a door. He knocks on it five times, then waits and repeats his actions. The door opens and reveals a short woman, also wearing old and torn clothes. She must be factionless too. I eye Michael nervous. I thought we would meet faction people who were Divergents, not people who are factionless.

The room is small and is only filled with some chairs, a table and a bed that has seen better days.

"Please sit. We would offer you a drink, but unfortunately this meeting place isn't equipped with food," the woman speaks and we do as we are told. She doesn't seem threatening. I scan her face, trying to discover from what faction she used to come.

"Forgive us for all the secrecy, but as you probably already know it's recommended among our kind," the man starts the conversation. I think he used to be part of Candor. He speaks like one of them. Not many factions use the phrase forgive me and he is rather direct in his approach.

"My name is Tabassum and this is Sacha," Tabassum introduces himself and Sacha raises her hand in a greeting manner. I think Sacha used to be part of Amity.

"I am Michael," my friend introduces himself and I follow: "Andy."

"We know," Sacha continues: "We know who you are and what you are. Don't be scared. We are like you, Divergent. That's why we made contact with you two."

"How do you know we are Divergent. I didn't tell anyone," I ask, extremely curious as to how these people found out about us. If factionless people can find out about me and Michael, then it's only a matter of time until the factions, especially Erudite, find out about this.

"Both of you took the aptitude test with an Abnegation woman, am I correct?" Tabassum asks us and we nod. I didn't know Michael also took his test with that woman: "She works with us so don't be afraid that anyone else will find out about you. She is a friend of ours and informed us about your situation the day after the aptitude test. We decided that it would be best to make contact with you quickly."

"Because we didn't know what your opinion was about being Divergent, we decided to contact you the way we did. If you were truly curious about what you are and who we are, then you would come and meet us. If you weren't interested, you wouldn't have come," Sacha explains.

"We also figured that if you weren't interested, that you wouldn't tell anyone," Tabassum finishes the explanation. Michael nods understanding: "Because else we would have to explain why we were contacted and we might risk being discovered by the Dauntless."

"Indeed and I am guessing that you already have noticed that something is wrong in Dauntless," Tabassum asks us and I add: "And Erudite."

"Good, that saves us time. We can't tell you exactly what is going on because we don't know everything yet and we don't know if we can trust you," Tabassum is defiantly from Candor. He is to direct: "Our leaders will decide after a while if you are trustworthy."

"Your leaders? There are more Divergents," Michael asks surprised. I thought that Abnegation woman said that Divergent was extremely rare. Sacha nods: "Of course. We aren't the only Divergents. We have gathered in a group and are trying to find out what is happening to our society. Someone is targeting our kind and we want to know why."

"How many are there? Divergents I mean," I ask. I suddenly don't feel alone, knowing that apparently there were more people like us. A lot more in fact: "I can't give you an exact number, but more than 100."

"100? How can that be? Where do they all live? Are they all factionless?" Michael asks quickly. Tabassum shakes his head: "No, there are a lot off Divergents among the factionless because they felt targeted in their factions, but we also have many spies hidden in the factions. They give us insight to what is going on. When we heard about you two, we had hoped that one of you would stay in Erudite. We need more spies there, because we think that whoever is targeting us is part of them."

"We wanted to meet with you because we want to warn you and ask for your help," Sacha continues. She leans forward like she doesn't want anyone else to hear what she is about to say, even though there is no one here besides us four: "Dauntless isn't safe. We believe they are part of this rebellion against our kind."

"Do you know who?" Michael asks and I immediately think of Eric. He acts suspicious. Why would they let a Dauntless leader supervise our training? Four can handle us perfect on his own. What if Eric supervises us to see if there are any Divergents among our group? It wouldn't be completely insane. I bet he analyses people and situations the most among the Dauntless leaders. And anyone of the initiates could have become Divergent. We are new and they will probably have to analyses us quickly. Eric seems like a logic option.

"We suspect some of the Dauntless leaders, but we don't have any concrete proof. We have three spies in Dauntless, five if you two are up for it. We can't tell you anything more at this moment because you aren't part of our circle yet, but just keep your eyes open. Maybe a fresh pair of eyes is all we need to figure out who is hiding something," Sacha explained. I can't blame them. I wouldn't tell everything to someone I just met. Michael nodded in agreement: "You can count on me. I'll keep my eyes and ears open."

Everyone's eyes turn to me. What will I do? Am I going to help these people? They haven't really told me anything new. Am I going to risk my life for a group of people who say they are like me? And if I don't, what will they do? I can't picture them just letting me walk out of here without a scratch. Maybe I don't really have a choice. Then again, I do want to help these people. I am Divergent, I can't change that fact.

"Count me in as well."


	17. Chapter 17

**I don't own Divergent, I only own my OC's.**

**Please review!**

* * *

**Chapter 17**

Tabassum walked us back to 18the Street after explaining to us how we could contact him and Sacha. He gave us a small device. Michael hide it in his pocket. We could use it to arrange a meeting with Sacha or Tabassum or to send them a message. We have to use certain words in our message so that they would know it was really us sending it. If we would lose the device and someone would find it, Sacha and Tabassum would know immediately. They would send us every week a new set of words.

"I am truly glad to have met you two. You will be a great asset to our cause in the future. You should head back to Dauntless now. Be safe," he told us, shaking our hands and taking his leave. He walked back to the warehouse. For a few minutes Michael and I were silent, not knowing what to say.

"We didn't really learn anything new, did we?" I ask when I couldn't take the silence anymore and we started walking towards the Erudite train station. I could tell that Michael wanted to disagree with me, but he couldn't find a single reason to object. He gave up in the end: "Yeah you're right. However, we did learn that there are more Divergents and now we can contact them."

"Yeah, that's true. It wasn't a complete waste of time," I sigh and I actually feel glad that we took the risk. There is more to this society than I thought and it's not just Erudite. Dauntless is also involved and that surprised me. I thought they were individuals, who were above something like this.

"And we also know about each other now. Even if it's you, it helps surviving this initiation period," Michael confesses and he turns to me. We stop walking. He is right. The thing I really learned tonight, is that I have an alley in Dauntless. Someone who I can talk to about this Divergent stuff, someone who can help me understand it. It's a reassuring feeling.

"I will take that as a compliment, even though it's you," I get back at Michael. He smiles and it's contagious. I lower my eyes and we start walking again, a calm and safe vibe hanging between us. I never in a million years expected to share my biggest secret in the world that could get me killed, with Michael. When I look at him now, he is different. He isn't that annoying prick anymore from Erudite. He is my teammate, who is smart and I with whom I can come up with great plans. He is trustworthy and I think I can rely on him. More than I ever expected.

We take another turn and we can see the Erudite train station up a head, but something else caught our attention. A big black cloud of smoke was rising from an apartment building. It was a building close to Erudite headquarters.

"Is that…," I ask and I am afraid to find out which building is on fire. It couldn't be…

"…our building?" Michael wonders the same thing. His voice is trembling and I see fear in his eyes. It can't be our building. The smoke is so big, it can only be created from a building that's basically completely on fire. Our building is to new, to well taken care of. There's no way a fire could break out in it and not be stopped in time.

Michael starts running towards the smoke. This isn't a good idea. We aren't suppose to be here. If we get caught, we will be into a lot of trouble. But what if it is our building? What if my parents are trapped inside it? What if Marie is hurt? Mom and dad have already been attacked once and that was unsuccessful, maybe whoever is responsible for that has come back to try again. I cannot leave, without making sure my family is safe.

As we run closer to the smoke, we can hear people scream and the street in front of the building is filled with people, ambulances and the fire brigade. As I recognize the street we are in, I look up and see the building where the fire is.

It is my apartment building. It is my home. The place I was born and grew up in and had countless fights with my sister. My home is on fire. The floor my family lives on, had smoke coming from all the windows and I could see red flames trying to escape. People were running out of the building and they were helped by Dauntless soldiers.

I recognized a lot of people in the crowd. Neighbors, kids from school, friends of my sister, school teachers, college's of mom and dad. But I couldn't find the once that mattered at the moment: my family. I kept scanning the faces of the people, while I walked among them but I couldn't find them. Michael was behind me, looking for his dad. No one noticed us, probably from shock or they didn't care that we were there or maybe they didn't question it.

Jeanine Matthews was standing among the crowd. She was talking to someone from Dauntless. A man I didn't recognize. She looked dirty. It was weird, because it is Jeanine. She always looks perfect. Her makeup is flawless and her clothes are always clean. Now her face was dirty from the smoke and her clothes had a grey touché to them. She must have also been inside the building. Why? She doesn't live here. She lives at headquarters.

Maybe she was visiting someone, maybe my parents?

"Dad!" Michael shouts and he starts running towards his father. I had seen him at visiting day. Michael looks a lot like him. They are built the same way, tall and muscular with blond hair and blue eyes. His dad was limping. He must have gotten hurt while getting out of the building. Father and son hugged and I left them. I needed to find my family.

I scanned what felt like millions of faces, but I didn't find the right once. None of those faces belonged to my family. I felt my body get cold, even though the fire made the temperature rise around us. What if something had happened to them? What if the fire caught them? What if they were trapped and the smoke was suffocating them?

"Andy?" A voices calls me and I turn around, hoping it belongs to one of my family members, even though it sounds nothing like them. It is Amber, Eric's girlfriend. She is wearing the Dauntless soldier uniform, with a gun strapped to her hip and gloves covering her hands. It seemed weird to see her like this. I kind of thought she was a joke. A girl who wanted to play with the big boys, but who didn't want to brake a nail. It was a bad thing of me to think of her in such a way, considering I barely know her.

"What are you doing here?" she asks me and one of her hands graphs my arm. I have a hard time focusing on what she is saying. I can't stop scanning the crowd behind her. I feel my body shake slightly and I forget to breathe at moments. The combination of the foil air, my inability to breathe normally and the fact that I didn't know where my family was or if they were even alive was starting to take its toil on me. I started having a panic attack. I have never had one before. I can only describe it as suffocating. But maybe that is a result from all the smoke that is around me. Spots appear in front of me, but I push my body and pull myself lose from Amber's hold. I need to find them.

Mom, dad, Marie, where are you?

I hear Amber yell at me for some reason, but I block her out. In fact, I have somehow blocked out all the noises around me. I don't hear people screaming anymore or the sound of fire. It must be from shock. My vision is starting to fail me. I need to really focus on scanning people's faces. Blue becomes black and black becomes blue. I bump into people, barely registering that I did that.

A sudden explosion makes me lose my balance. The people around me cover their heads and take cover, but I can't find the will to move my feet. I keep looking at people faces. A second explosion makes me look up and my ears start working again. Amber had run up to me and she pulls me with her. I try to get lose, but she is to strong or I am too weak from lack of fresh air.

"Initiate, what are you doing here?" Eric's voice makes me forget about my search for my family for a split second and I think back at what Tabassum and Sacha told me earlier. Dauntless leaders were involved, but which once? Was Eric one of them?

A third explosion is heard. This one is more powerful and I feel a shock wave push me forward. Amber had braced herself and kept her balance, while Eric's arm kept me on my feet. When did it find its way around my waist? Debris from the explosion are flying around. They aren't big, but big enough to knock you out cold, if not kill you. I turn my body away from the building and feel Eric's arm around my head, shielding it from the debris flying around. His other arm keeps me pushed up against his chest. I didn't move for what felt like hours. I didn't mind being pushed up against Eric, in fact it gave me a secure feeling even though I am going to be in trouble later with him because I left the Dauntless compound unsupervised.

When most of the debris was laying on the ground, Eric pulled his arm from above my head and I turn around to see the damage the third explosion had caused. The Dauntless soldiers were guiding the Erudite people away from the building. I could see a few body's laying on the ground. Probably burned to death. Jeanine was helping, signaling to head to headquarters.

"Amber, go help them," Eric ordered the girl and I couldn't help a shiver run down my back at the tone in his voice. He was being serious. There wasn't room for jokes or snide comments. This is a whole different Eric. He was a man people took orders from, a man you listened too. I guess he was made a leader for some reason, beside his physical strength. He sounded powerful in his voice. He barked out more orders, but his voice didn't reach my ears anymore. The world around me became silent. My eyes were focused on the main entrance of the apartment building. A smaller frame was walking out of it, accompanied by three adults, two from Dauntless and one from Erudite. I could make out her face after a few seconds.

Marie.

"MARIE!" my voice sounded strange, must be from all the smoke. It is her. It is my little sister. She is limping and one of the Dauntless soldiers is supporting her. Her face is dirty from the smoke and she seems to be in shock. Marie and the others are walking the opposite direction from us. I want to run towards her, but Eric stops me: "Let me go!"

"No, you stay here! I will get her," his tone was so strong, commanding and final. I didn't find it in myself to protest. Michael showed up at my side, with his dad. Eric says something to Michael, but I can't hear them over all the noise surrounding us. Eric's arms get replaced by Michaels and the man runs towards my sister. I graph Michael's arm for support and I can hear him say soothing words to me, but my mind refuses to listen to him. Marie is the only thing important right now.

Eric catches up quickly with the Dauntless soldiers and they talk. I can tell from Marie her body language that she doesn't trust him. Suddenly he points in my direction. Marie lets go of the Dauntless soldier helping her and starts limping towards me. I don't know where the strength comes from, but I managed to pull myself lose from Michael. It seemed to take me forever to run towards my sister and hold her in my arms. Her small frame seems fragile at the moment and she starts crying while hiding her face in my shoulder. I found myself feeling rather calm the moment I felt my sister's frame against mine. She is alright. She is okay. That is one person I have found.

I pull back and inspect my sister's frame. She is limping, but it looks like she doesn't have any other injuries. Tears are running down her face and I cannot help but wonder if it's because she was afraid or is she knew something about mom and dad.

I toughen up. I cannot become emotional like her now. She needs me. I lay her arm around my shoulder and guide her towards headquarters myself. Michael and his dad follow us. Every now and then Marie makes a face, signaling she is in pain. I try and slow down, but after a while it seems like every step Marie takes is hurting her. She must have sprained her ankle badly. If it was broken, she wouldn't be able to walk at all and she is keeping her weight away from her foot, not her knee. It has to be a sprained ankle.

We don't say much during our walk. I don't know what to say to her. That she is safe, that it will be okay? I cannot guarantee those things. Considering our apartment just went up in flames, I think it's safe to say that she isn't safe. I bet it is the same person who was behind the attack from the factionless.

We reach headquarters and it looks the same as the last time I was here, only now it was filled with dirty people. People covered in grey smoke, whose clothes were ruined. It was a very un-Erudite sight to withhold.

I help Marie sit down and inspect her ankle. It was swollen badly. Michael went to look for a doctor or a nurse who could help my sister. His dad started talking to Marie, to help her out of her state of shock. He was talking about school stuff. It sounded stupid to talk about it. It felt like a lifetime ago since I went to school, even though it has only been a few weeks. The man was asking her questions about her classes. Marie answered them after awhile. The man was patient and seemed to know what he was doing. Maybe he was a scientist who worked in the field of human behavior, like his son wanted to do. I didn't enter the conversation. I suddenly felt very tired. I wanted to sleep next to Marie and wake up to find out this was all a dream. A very bad dream.

"Initiate!" And the dream just keeps getting worse. Eric was standing behind us, one hand holding his gloves and his jacket. His t-shirt showed his muscles well. If I hadn't been dirty from the smoke, I would have tried to hide the blush creeping on my face: "A word, now!"

Eric was still in his leader role and that frightened me for some reason. I didn't know how he would react. This was a new side of him and I didn't know how to hold myself in front of him. I decided to try something new. I obeyed and followed Eric away from the masses. He stopped in a hallway that led to my old classroom. It felt weird standing here as a different person. The last time I was here, I was a student and my life was extremely simple. I had no worries. Now I am a Dauntless initiate, who is in a lot of trouble. Now I am Divergent, hiding my identity because it can get me killed.

"Yes," I asked as politely as possible and wait for Eric's outburst. I wonder what he will say. Would he kick me out of Dauntless because of this? I don't think Eric would mind me leaving, in fact he would probably be the first to applaud the idea.

"What do you think you are doing here?" Eric asks amazingly calm, but I can hear anger in his voice. Why is he holding that back? I had expected that he would have bitten my head off by now. Was it really only a few hours ago that I jumped from that pillar into his arms?

"I came to visit my family. I missed my sister," I answer shortly. It's not because I obeyed that I was going to tell him the truth. I kept my voice even and waited patiently for the man's replay. He analyzed my face, his eyes not letting go mine. He couldn't find a lie in them: "And what was Michael doing with you?"

"I ran into him on my way out. He tried to stop me. I don't know why he decided to come with me. Maybe he missed his old man." It was a possibility that could have happened. I am sure that there are more initiates who do stuff like this. They are probably just smarter and make sure they don't get caught.

"He missed his old man?" Eric asks me, a mocking tone in his voice. I raised one eyebrow at him. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that Eric would mock something as sentimental as missing once family. It seems to fit his character. I wonder if he has seen or spoken to his family ever since he became Dauntless.

"Yes," I answer shortly and I could tell Eric was getting fed up with my short answers. I place my hands in the pockets of my jacket and waited for Eric's reaction: "And what gave you the idea that you were allowed to leave the compound without supervision?"

"Nothing, it's against Dauntless rules," I am surprised by my own ability to stay calm, considering I could tell that Eric was starting to tick: "Then why do it?"

"I already told you, I missed my family," I stated and sighed. Can't he just make his point and scowled me. That way I can leave and go back to Marie: "I also didn't suspect that either you or Four would give me permission to go."

"I might have surprised you," Eric teased me, leaving his angry state of mind behind. It is unnatural how quickly he could switch in moods sometimes. I crossed my arms in front of my chest: "I don't think so."

"Our little pillar adventure doesn't give me the benefit of the doubt?" Eric kept teasing and he took a step forward. I don't think he would have granted me permission. In fact, he would have probably laughed in my face. Tabassum's words kept running through my mind when I looked at Eric.

_Dauntless isn't safe. We believe they are part of this rebellion against our kind. We suspect some of the Dauntless leaders are involved._

"Not really, you don't seem the trustworthy type to be honest," I dared to say and I caught Eric being stunned for a second. I could have answered a lot of things to Eric, but he didn't suspect such a forward answer. Even I hadn't expected it, the words just left my mouth before I could stop them. Eric didn't let my words get to him though. His playful manner stopped and he took another step forward and lowered his head. I had to look up because he was doing a good job of towering over my small frame. I tried not to feel intimidated, but he had a very intimidating figure.

"We head back to Dauntless in ten minutes. Make sure you are ready," he warned me and I could tell from his tone that he dared me to talk back at him. It seemed to be the theme of the day: being in a close proximity with Eric. This was the third time today that his face was this close to mine.

"Yes sir," I answered and walked away from him. I ignored the fluttering feeling in my stomach and walked back to Marie.

"And don't think this is over initiate," Eric called after me. Has he ever called me by my name? I don't think so. He always calls me initiate. I am the only one calls that, I guess I must be special. I didn't stop the blush creep on my face.

"I didn't expect it to be, _sir_," I called back and added as much violence to my voice as he had done. I walked back to Marie, Michael and his dad. A nurse was helping Marie and she seemed to have calmed down. Michael eyed me, but I told him to let it go. He saw Eric walk behind me and got that we probably wouldn't see our beds tonight.

"Michael, can I have a moment with my sister. We have to leave in ten minutes," I asked my friend and he nodded. He helped his dad look around for friends of them, while I sat down next to Marie: "I can't stay long. What happened tonight?"

"I don't know," Marie started in a hushed voice that was shaking. I laid my arm around her and leaned my head against hers, so that we could talk softly: "Mom and dad were home and Jeanine had visited us. They talked for a few minutes and there was screaming involved, but I couldn't understand what they were talking about. But I think…no, I am sure that…that…"

"What Marie?" I asked and tried to stay calm. It wasn't helping that I only had a few minutes and that Eric was watching us like a hawk.

"I am sure that I heard them say…your name. They were talking about…you for some reason. I think Jeanine is really angry that you left Erudite," Marie confessed and I felt cold on the inside. What were they talking about if it involved me? Did Jeanine know? Did mom and dad know? I suddenly felt like everyone was watching me.

"You have to watch out Andy, whatever is happening it somehow involves you. Watch out for Jeanine," Marie begged me and she looked up. I put on a brave face and grinned at her: "Don't worry about me little sis, I will watch my back and I have friends who will help me. You should worry more about yourself at the moment. Do you know where mom and dad are?"

"No, but they weren't in the apartment. When Jeanine left, they came back here, but I don't think they were suppose to do that. They seemed scarred," Marie started shaking again and I tightened my grip on her. So Marie doesn't know where our parents are, but they weren't in the building when the fire started. That's a good sign I guess. I wanted to reassure Marie that they were probably safe and working everything out, when Jeanine Mathews appeared in front of us: "Marie, you are safe! Andrina? What are you doing here?"

Jeanine her tone betrayed that she wasn't concerned about Marie. She must have seen me and wanted to talk about something. What is she up to?

"I wanted to visit my family," I lied and stood up. It didn't seem smart to put myself in a lower position when it comes to Jeanine Mathews. I need to be on even ground with her. She is dangerous.

"I thought the Dauntless didn't allow their initiates to leave the compound and it doesn't sound very Dauntless like to me to visit once family after switching factions," Jeanine told me sweetly, too sweetly. She smiled so innocently. I wonder what this woman is really capable of. I wonder what her dirty little secrets are.

"It has only been two weeks. It will come in time," I answer her flatly and cross my arms. Without knowing it, I had placed myself between Jeanine and my sister. I didn't want this woman anyway near Marie.

"Or it won't. Maybe you choose the wrong faction. I truly was sad when you made the switch," Jeanine told me and I wondered what her interest was in me. I was never really good in my classes and I didn't have any rare talents. I am not super smart like mom and dad. Marie does a lot better in her classes in fact.

"I doubt it considering I just passed the first stage of Dauntless training. I have the green light to go to stage two," I told her, hoping it would stop her. My plan backfires on me apparently. Jeanine seems pleased to hear this piece of information. Why? Why would she want me to pass the first stage? What happens in stage two? Eric and Four told us it would be more of a mental challenge. What does that mean? A mental challenge can be anything.

"Initiate! Let's go!" Eric called, but I kept my eyes fixed on Jeanine. What was she hiding?

"You could have been great in Erudite, under my guidance you could have gone far," Jeanine whispered so that only Marie and I could hear her. I saw Eric's figure walk towards us, he was suspicious of the woman I was talking to. His walk was less firm than usual. Great, if even blockhead Eric can tell something is wrong, then it must be bad.

"I don't think so. There wasn't anything I was interested in learning from you miss Matthews," I answered back and Marie stood up behind me. I didn't want to leave her, especially not at this precise moment but I doubt that Eric would wait for me.

"Jeanine, sorry but we are leaving," Eric interrupted our conversation. I was secretly glad that he turned out to be my savior at this moment. I wanted to get away from Jeanine and I wanted that woman away from Marie.

"Oh I was just checking to see if the youngest Caine daughter was alright, but I didn't expect to find the oldest Caine daughter here," Jeanine kept her sweet tone as she turned to Eric. It sounds weird to see someone talk in such a fashion to Eric. Now that I think about it, Jeanine's way of talking reminds me of a mother who is scowling her children. It sounds wrong that someone talked like that to Eric.

"She will be dealt with," Eric told her and I could tell he felt the same way as I did. He wasn't a fan of Jeanine either. Eric graphed my arm and wanted to pull me away when Jeanine spoke again: "I am sure she will. Keep in touch Andrina."

"Don't count on it," I bite back and take a step forward. My blood was boiling and I really wanted to…wanted to…I don't know…punch her in the face maybe. This woman is bad news and the fact that I have to leave Marie behind with her, frustrated me.

I feel Eric hand graph my elbow and pull me away from Jeanine. My eyes met Maries and we had to say goodbye quickly. I hope she will be alright. She told me she would ask her friends if she could stay with them for a few nights, until mom and dad get back. I assured her that they would be back soon, but I had a bad feeling in my stomach. Where did they go and what do they know about me? I need to find a way to keep in contact with Marie. Maybe I can ask Tabassum and Sacha for help. They might have developed some kind of communication system between the factions. How else do they keep in contact with everyone?

Then again, who says they have to keep in contact with a lot of people. They never mentioned how many people were involved with their rebellion, if you can even call it that. We only know that there are currently more than a 100 Divergents. Who says they are all involved with Sacha and Tabassum?

I let Eric guide me to the other Dauntless soldiers who were also heading back to the compound. Michael was standing among them, along with Amber. I stood next to Michael and waited to be told what to do. Eric was barking orders and Amber kept her eyes on me. What does she want? Her eyes are so blank. I can't make out what she is thinking. Is she feeling sorry for me or is she angry? Michael was thinking the same thing. Our eyes met briefly. I need to inform him about what I told Eric, about why we left the compound. We need to tell the same story, else we're busted. That is if Eric even believes us. He knows I am hiding something and probably suspects Michael to be involved. I need to make sure it is clear to Eric that Michael was not suppose to come with me tonight. But how am I going to do that?

"Amber, take everyone back to the compound. The train will arrive at Erudite station in ten minutes," Amber knotted and took the lead over the group. It amazed me how easily and quickly all the soldiers followed her and did as they were told. These men and woman are usually so loud and I have noticed that they have a hard time keeping their opinions to themselves. It is almost as if these are different people. Everyone is so serious, it makes me feel like a child. I am trying to become a part of them, but I can't even take an order and I have a really bad habit of vocalizing my opinions to everyone who doesn't want to hear them. How am I ever going to pass initiation?

I wanted to follow the Dauntless soldiers, but a hand on my shoulder stopped me. Michael noticed it and stopped too.

"I will deal with you when we are back at the compound Michael. Keep walking," Eric ordered my friend. He eyed me and I knotted. I could handle Eric on my own. Michael ran after Amber and they disappeared into the Erudite station. I didn't move and waited for Eric to speak. I am not sure what he is going to say. He knows that I know that I am not allowed to leave the compound unsupervised and I don't think he is going to tell me what my punishment is either for disobeying those orders. If he would, he wouldn't have send Michael away. What does he want to talk about?

The man doesn't say anything. He simply stood tall and crossed his arms over each other. His eyes were fixated on my body. It unnerved me a little. His gaze was too intense. I recognized his look though. He was analyzing me and I didn't like it. It made me feel like a piece of meat or one of the animals they resurge in the Erudite labs. Eric was waiting for me to say something, but I don't know what he expects me to say. It was starting to frustrate me. My hands were balled into fists and my nails were digging into my skin. I was trying to stay calm, but Eric's analyzing stare was making me lose my usually calm exterior. It didn't take me long before I yelled: "WHAT?"

"What is the deal between you and Jeanine," the man asked me calmly. It didn't feel right with me that he was so calm, while I was panicking for some reason. I tried to stop my knees from shaking. They didn't.

"She works with my parents and I have know her since I was little," I explain. I don't know how I should describe my relationship with that woman. I don't trust her, but I don't have any concrete proof that she is a bad person. All I can do is trust my gut and keep her as far away as possible from me and Marie.

"And…" Eric waited patiently, as he took a step forward. He was slowly closing the proximity between us and the tension that had developed during the few minutes we were standing here, alone, in a dark street were growing. Wait, I don't even know this street? A cold wind made me very aware that I was alone and no one would hear me if I scream for help. Maybe I should haven't let Michael leave with Amber.

"And…what?" I ask, not knowing what Eric wanted me to say. That I don't trust Jeanine? That I don't trust him? That I think Erudite is up to something? That I am meeting factionless people and discussing things I shouldn't be involved in, especially since I am not yet part of Dauntless.

"And what indeed." Eric said the last word slowly and I felt my stomach do a flip. I had to focus on breathing properly. My nails were hurting my skin and I tried to stop myself from blushing when I realized that Eric's body was almost touching mine. I wanted to take a step back, but my brain wasn't sending the message on to my feet. After a few minutes I found my tongue back: "Just get to the point."

"You disobeyed orders tonight," Eric changed the subject. He smirked when I managed to lose my cool for the second time this evening. I don't understand why he changed the subject, but I was glad that he did.

"I think we have already established that we are both aware of that fact," I answer the man and feel myself feel calm as I give him a smart ass replay. We were back in our zone of…of… of whatever we have going on between us. The thought of something going on between us, made me blush and I couldn't cover it. I lowered my eyes and the cold wind made me shiver. I hugged myself and tried to focus on anything but the cold and the man standing in front of me.

"You will be punished for that," Eric continued and I felt my stomach drop. Is this it? Am I going to be kicked out of Dauntless? I just past the first stage of initiation. I had forgotten about the fact that I would become factionless if I was caught sneaking out of the compound. Eric and Four made it very clear what the Dauntless leaders would throw us out if we broke that rule. Maybe that was why Amber was looking at me earlier. She knew this would happen. But why would he sent Michael away. He broke the rule too. He has to throw Michael out as well.

"And I know just the thing that will make you learn to appreciate the rules of our compound," Eric sounded very dangerous for some reason. I felt a shiver run down my back, as the man leaned closer. His face was an inch away from mine and for a split second I wondered what would happen if he leaned closer. I felt really stupid when I busted myself on having such thoughts.

"What? Are you going to hang me again above the chasm again?" I said and took a step back. The smirk on Eric's face grew and I ignored the fluttering feeling rising in my stomach. How can I be feeling these…feelings, when I don't know what this man might do to me?

"No, I have a better idée," Eric said, his voice dropping to a whisper. I took another step away from Eric, but felt my body come in contact with a wall. Eric took a step closer and I was trapped between his body and the wall. Now what do I do? Eric his face was too close to mine and I felt my heartbeat quicken. I tried to keep a calm expression covering my face, but I could tell by Eric's smirk that I wasn't succeeding very well. I didn't know what to do and I couldn't find myself break the tension that was hanging between myself and Eric. I wanted to push him away from my body and to walk away from this place, but for some reason I don't see myself pulling that of.

"And what would that be?" I try to sound nonchalant, but I hear my voice tremble. I don't like this. I don't like this at all. What is he doing? Eric's face was coming closer. I pull my arms up and place my hands against Eric's chest as he leans in. I feel his muscles move beneath my fingers and my cheeks heat up. Eric placed one arm next to my head and he leaned his body forward. My breath gets caught in my throat, when Eric's breath hits my lips.

"It only involves Tori."

After that the man backs up, graphs my arm and pulls me along after him. It took me a few seconds before my brain understood what Eric was talking about. Tori works in a tattoo shop and Eric knows that I am afraid of needles.

He wants me to get a tattoo!


	18. Chapter 18

**I don't own Divergent, I only own my OC's.**

**Please review!**

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**Chapter 18**

When I realized what Eric's plan was, I tried to pull myself lose. I was not going to let this man tattoo my skin. I am not going to get a tattoo just because he says so. I don't care about my punishment, I am not doing it! I caught Eric of guard and managed to escape him. I made a run for it, but I didn't get far. An arm went around my waist and before I knew what was going on, Eric had thrown me over his shoulder and there was no way I was going to get away from him.

"I am not getting a tattoo just because you tell me to, you jackass!" I yell at the man and start pounding my fists on his back. He doesn't flinch and waits for the train to arrive in the station: "Do you want me to kick you out of Dauntless instead?"

I am not lying when I say that I am actually thinking it over. I could survive if I became factionless. I can look for Sacha and Tabassum. They would help me out. Maybe it's even for the better that I leave Dauntless. Eric wouldn't keep his eyes on me anymore and I wouldn't have to be afraid that someone might find out about me being Divergent. There are actually a lot of pro's into becoming factionless. Granted, I will go hungry and I will get cold at night, but I might actually be safer with the factionless. Or at least Sacha and Tabassum. For all I know, the other factionless people might kill me. Even with al it's pro's, I still want to belong in Dauntless. I wouldn't have chosen them, if I didn't want to make it until the end of initiation. I want to stay in Dauntless, no matter what the cost.

It was actually a really stupid thought of mine. I would never survive becoming factionless. How would I find Sacha and Tabassum? They could live on the other side of the city for all I know. And just because I am no longer part of Dauntless, that doesn't mean that Jeanine will leave me alone. I can only assume she knows that I am Divergent and because of that she wants me. For what, I don't know.

"No," I choke out and hit Eric one more time. I can feel him smirk. He lets me go and I feel the ground beneath my feet. The train enters the station. Eric pushes me forward and it only takes us a few seconds before we are sitting in one of the train compartments.

We don't talk. I don't know what to say to this man. What is a topic that is safe between us? A topic that won't tick us off? The weather maybe or Dauntless cake? No one can say anything bad about Dauntless cake. It is the best food I have ever tasted in my life.

Now that I am thinking about it, I don't know anything about Eric, only that he originally comes from Erudite. I don't know what he likes, I can guess who he dislikes or why he took the job as a Dauntless leader or as our trainer. Maybe I can ask him about that. He doesn't seem a teacher-type of person to me. Four is much better cut out for this job. Eric is okay, I guess. He pushes us to our limits, makes us deal with annoying thick headed leaders and he might know a thing or two about fighting.

I want to ask him about it, when a sudden pain shoots threw my knees. I forgot about my near death experience of this evening. Actually to be more precise, my second near death experience of this evening. I can't believe so much as happened in one night: the test, meeting Sacha and Tabassum and the fire at my Erudite home. I am surprised that I haven't passed out from exhaustion.

I roll my pants up. I had borrowed some from Marnie. I anticipated that it would be cold and my shorts wouldn't offer me enough warmth. She didn't ask about it, just made me promise not to ruin them. It's funny how Marnie, Kim and Sarah are into cloths. They actually get up five minutes earlier, to decide what they are going to wear that day. I sleep five minutes longer and end up pulling some random clothes on while I am still asleep. In fact I usually have to pull my hair into a ponytail or a bum, while I am running to the training ground. I should learn to get up earlier.

"What happened?" Eric asks me and I lift my eyes from my knees to his frame. He was sitting across from me. My knees were covered in blood and I had a deep gash in my right knee. I guess the adrenaline of the situation at my Erudite home made me forget about it. I should visit the sickbay tomorrow to let them take a look at my knee.

"Eum…let's just say that trains and I don't agree with each other," I laugh a little at my own comment. I really should practice on jumping on and of a moving train. I am surprised that I was capable of climbing on this train, without Eric's help. I guess I am making progress.

"That doesn't answer my question," Eric says after a minute. He doesn't sound threatening. I would call his tone curious and if I didn't know any better, I would call it worry. I sigh: "I didn't make a jump and nearly ended up falling to my death earlier."

"What?" Eric sits up straighter and his eyes are slightly alarmed. I don't feel like having to explain myself again, I seem to do that a lot with this man, but I don't want to start another fight with him either: "The jump was big and Michael barely made it. I was able to graph the edge of the roof. Michael helped me. I smacked my head and knees into the wall. Now that I mention that, I do kind of have a headache."

"You probable have a concussion then. We shouldn't have taken the train in that case. It won't do your head and your knees any good when you jump of this train," Eric says and I can't help but smile a little. He notices it: "Your Erudite side is showing."

"Watch your tongue and you will see my Dauntless side fast enough," Eric smirks and I focus my eyes back on my knees. I check my wounds for any dirt or small stones that might have gotten stuck in them. Both knees are scratched open, but only my right knee has a deeper cut, that might need stitches. The thought of a needle piercing my flesh sent a shiver down my spine.

"You got it right if you are thinking about needing stitches," Eric vocalized my thoughts and that was kind of weird. How did he know I was thinking that: "It's your own fault? You shouldn't have left the compound unsupervised."

"It's not like I would have gotten permission from you or Four to leave," I answer him and try not to focus on the headache developing inside my brain. It's not helping that we are on a moving train. I am dreading having to jump of this machine. Eric shrugs: "I might have surprised you."

"Don't lie," I answer quickly and harsh. I support my head with my arms and try to block out the throbbing in the back of my head. Eric's oh so calming voice doesn't help: "Watch it, your Candor side is showing."

He was right. I don't want to admit it, but these last couple of days I have noticed that I show more than just my Erudite and Dauntless side. I help my friends to much, even in sacrifice of my own goals. Taking on the Dauntless born initiates as a team was extremely risky. We could have lost and then I would never have made the cut. But I didn't want to leave my friends behind. It was an act of Abnegation. I need to watch out with that. I already show my Erudite side constantly. Everyone has probably noticed it by now. I don't need them noticing another side of me.

"So? Maybe that was my result on the aptitude test," I answer, thinking that maybe I can throw him of by mentioning the test. It is true. No one knows what my result was. I could have easily scored Candor, Amity or Abnegation as Erudite and Dauntless. Eric doesn't seem impressed: "You didn't score Candor. You lie to easy for them."

He is trying to lure me out. I manage to bite my tongue and not yell out that I don't lie. It would have been very obvious to him that that would have been a lie. I sigh and try to relax: "Maybe."

"You either scored Erudite or Dauntless," Eric continued the subject. I need to watch out. He could be setting up a trap for me. He might know that I am Divergent. Jeanine already knows and I think my parents do as well. Maybe Eric knows too. Tabassum did warn me that Dauntless leaders were planning with Erudite leaders. That means that someone is talking to Jeanine. I don't think Eric is planning something with Jeanine behind closed curtains thought. He seemed on his guard around her earlier.

"What about you? I am guessing you scored Dauntless," I reply and look at the lights flashing past the door of the train compartment: "Although it wouldn't surprise me if you also scored Erudite. You don't seem to be as stupid as you make others believe sometimes."

"Did you just call me stupid?" Eric asks me, but he stays rather calm. My eyes meet his: "You just made my point. It is quite annoying that you make me repeat myself a lot, when I know you heard what I said the first time."

"I guess I should thank you for the compliment then," Eric smirks and I can tell he is slightly surprised that I picked up on his habit of making people repeat themselves, to appear less smart then he really is. The question is why he does it. I can't stop myself from asking that question out load. Eric eyes me suspiciously. I seem to have asked a question that I shouldn't have. I wait for Eric's oncoming outburst.

"If you show people all your cards, you will be quickly out of the game," Eric replays after a few minutes. His shoulders are hanging lower than usual. He looks tired. His eyes catch mine: "Make sure you always have some tricks up your sleeve. That way people will never really know who you are and it will be easier to impress the right people when the time comes."

"Is that what you did when they asked you to become a Dauntless leader?" I ask curiously. Eric's answer got me thinking that he hides probably a lot of things. I wonder what made him that way. It sounds to me like he doesn't trust people easily. Maybe he has trust issues.

"Exactly."

"That sounds like a lonely life if you ask me," I think out load and close my eyes. My headache is making it hard for me to concentrate on Eric's words, over the noise of the train. He probably doesn't have a lot of friends. I don't think I have seen him ever hang around with people, just for the fun of it. I have seen him with Amber and Four, but I am pretty sure that Eric and Four don't really get along.

"We can't all be popular," Eric states and he gets up. He walked over to the door of the train compartment. He graphs a pole and leans his head out of the compartment. He looks towards our destination. It seems our conversation has somehow gotten a lot more serious than I had anticipated. I never thought I would have this kind of conversation with Eric. His comment makes me laugh though. It hurts my head and I graph it, hoping my hands will somehow heal my head. Sadly it doesn't work.

"I never thought that anyone would call me popular. I am not even sure how I managed to become it," I wipe some tears out of my eyes and Eric walks over to my sitting frame. He doesn't follow my train of thought: "I wasn't exactly every once favorite girl in Erudite. In fact I was the girl sitting in the corner, that no one took notice of."

"What changed?" Eric asks me and I shrug. I don't know what changed. Well, everything changed I guess. Maybe I wanted to become someone else in Dauntless. Someone who voiced her opinions and who helped others. That was something I missed in Erudite. I always had the feeling I had to do everything alone. Maybe that was a result of me not having any friends.

"I guess you bring out the best in me," I reply and smile. My eyes catches Eric's and for a minute I forget that I don't trust this man and I am grateful to have had this opportunity to get to know him a little bit better. Maybe he isn't as ugly on the inside, as I thought he was. It wouldn't surprise me if in a few years I end up working beneath him or something. That is if I pass initiation.

"Come on, time to jump," Eric says and offers me his hand. I look at it and then back at him. Maybe he has more to offer than I had first wanted to see. My opinion about Eric was changing, but that didn't take the away the uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. I take Eric's hand and he pulls me up. My legs and knees are sore. They will hurt in the morning. I hope we aren't going to do much physical training, but I somehow doubt that.

"Try to land on your side, spare your knees," Eric tells me and the roof of the Dauntless compound came into view. It was the same roof as the one when I jumped on when I arrived at this compound. The roof I had to jump off to prove that I was being serious about becoming a Dauntless member.

I nod and Eric jumps first. I follow him a second later and manage to land on my feet, but my knees can't hold my weight, so they buckle. I bite my tongue to stop myself from screaming. Unfortunately I bite my tongue hard: "Damn it!"

"You okay?" Eric asks me. He landed perfectly on his feet and I am surprised he didn't laugh at my undignified landing. I sit up and lick my hand to see if my tongue is bleeding: "I bit my tongue."

"Ha!" Eric starts laughing after that and I end up kicking him in is shines. It only made him laugh harder, because I managed to hurt myself in the process: "Can't this just count as my punishment. I am already going to need stitches."

"You should have thought about that before you decided to sneak off. The next time you plan something like this, you can remember your punishment," Eric says and walks over to the edge of the roof. He climbs on and waits for me. The darkness of the nights swallows the entire space between the buildings, making it impossible to see where the entrance hole is preciously. It's kind of risky to jump like this. You can't aim for the middle.

"Are you scared?" Eric asks me and I grin at him. Before he can react, I push him of the roof and he disappears into the darkness. I hope for him that he lands in the net. Okay, maybe I am hoping that for me as well. I follow Eric ten seconds later. I roll out of the net with his help, what surprised me. He graphs my elbow before I fall out of the net. Before I can thank him, he flicks me in my forehead.

"Damn you," I say thru gritted teeth. I follow Eric thru the hallways of Dauntless. I would have gotten lost if I was alone. I don't think I have come in this aria, except for when I arrived here. There are a few lights burning throughout the halls, but there was no one to be seen. Everyone was sleeping. I hadn't noticed before how tired I was. I want to lie down on my bed and sleep for a day. What time is it anyway?

"You can't wake Tori up at this hour. It would be cruel," I try to bring Eric to reason. He cannot be serious about me getting a tattoo as punishment. He can't make me do that. I have rights! I think? I actually don't even know what my rights are. For all I know, Eric can do whatever he wants with me. I stop the blush that is threading to cover my cheeks.

"I don't plan to get on her bad side," Eric answers me and we take a left. After two turns I am completely lost. Where are we going? I decide to stay quiet and try to orientate myself. We are walking thru short hallways. And we took a lot of turns to the left. So we must be in the west side of the compound. After some more turns I recognize where we are.

"Why are we here?" I ask and stare at the door of my sleeping quarters. I don't understand. Does he want to get Michael and come up with some ridicules punishment for him as well?

"The medical centre is probably closed, so you will just have to try and sleep for now. We can visit them tomorrow, after that we will visit Tori," Eric answers me and I feel an uncomfortable feeling rising in my body. He is actually going to make me get one, isn't he? Before I can answer, Eric leans closer to me and his hand sets itself on my shoulder. He is standing close again. My heart skips a beat. That can't be healthy.

"Don't sweat it initiate. If you are really scared, I will hold your hand," Eric whispers and winks. I really want to punch him in his stupid face, but I manage to keep my fist next to my body. I give him an evil grin: "Good to know, muscles."

Eric leaves after that. I open the door of my sleeping quarters and see that everyone is sleeping. Michael is lying on his bed, still wearing his cloths. He was probably waiting for me. I graph his blanket and cover him with it. I am thankful that everyone is sleeping. I did not look forward to having to explain myself to them as well. I want to sleep and try to ignore the pain in my head and knees.

I change my clothes and crawl into bed. Rob is slightly snoring next to me and his mouth is hanging open. When he sleeps, he can be entertaining to watch. Sometimes he makes noises, like he is talking to someone in a strange language. The downside of his little show is that it makes it hard to fall asleep.

I have to find a way out of this mess. I am not going to give this gorilla the satisfaction of seeing me scared and in pain at the same time. I also cannot forget to tell Michael what I told Eric. We need to tell the same story, else Eric will know for sure we are lying.


	19. Chapter 19

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**Chapter 19**

I end up sleeping until noon. When I wake up I am alone. The others were probably training. I am surprised that they hadn't woke me up. Maybe Eric or Michael told them to let me sleep. I am guessing it was Michael in that case. I slowly get out of bed. My head still hurts, but the pain has numbed down. My knees are another story. I limp to the shower and the wounds sting a lot when I stand under the water. This isn't good. I won't be able to practice at all with these wounds. I can't run. Walking is too painful. I won't be able to practice any fighting routines and with the concussion I probably have, it wouldn't be smart to practice with weapons either.

I stand for a long time under the shower, letting the water clean my wounds and take away the stress from last night. I should sent a message to Tabassum and Sacha and ask them if they know what happened at Erudite. Maybe they know something about where my parents are. I hope Marie is alright and that Jeanine has left her alone.

"Andy, are you in here?" A voice suddenly calls me out of my mind palace. Who's there? My heart starts pounding faster as I realize that I am naked and this person can open the door of the shower anytime. I quickly graph my towel and as I am wrapping it around me the door of the shower opens: "Andy are you… Oh."

"What the hell is your problem? Can't you hear the shower? That usually means someone is in the shower and it's a safe assumption to make that they are probably naked, Four!" I bite the man's head of and a blush is covering his cheeks. It makes him look a lot younger. He doesn't move. I guess he is too surprised: "Get out of here you pervert!"

Four quickly closes the door and I can feel myself relax. I cannot believe that he just walked in on me while I was in the showering. What is his problem? He could have knocked! Thank god that I had graphed my towel in time. What if he had seen me naked? The thought send a shiver down my spine. Maybe I should be grateful it's him and not Eric who came looking for me. Although maybe he might have been smart enough to knock before entering.

I dry myself of and then realize that my clothes are still lying on my bed. My pants, t-shirt and underwear are lying there, spread out like some gallery thing. This is so embarrassing. What did I do to deserve this?

"Four are you still there?" I ask and notice that my voice is trembling from embarrassment. I don't want him to get my clothes, but I also don't want to walk out and get them myself: "I need my clothes, so can you please wait outside while I get dressed and act like this never happened?"

"No problem," Four answers me and I notice that his voice is scratchy. At least I am not the only one who is embarrassed. I leave the shower room when I hear the door of my sleeping quarters close. I limp, whit my small towel around my naked frame, to my bed, graph my clothes and then limp back to the shower room. My knees didn't like the sudden action. I quickly get dressed and pull my wet hair into a bum. While I walk towards the door where Four I waiting, I try to relax and stop my brain from cursing the man into oblivion. It was an accident and we will never speak of it again. No one will find out about it.

As I open the door I see Four leaning against a wall, his face still crimson red. When my eyes meet his, I feel myself blush and I realize that it's going to take a while before I can shower in peace again. I lift my finger at Four: "If you ever speak of this to anyone, I will throw you of the roof of this building and I will make sure there isn't a net to catch you. Are we clear on that?"

"Yes ma'am," Four replies and I close the door behind me. I should head over to the medical center for those stitches. I am not waiting for Eric to show up, so that he can laugh while I get them. I can picture myself biting my tongue to stop myself from screaming out in pain and fear. Why is that when you are afraid of something, it always feels extra painful when you have to deal with it? There is no logic in it.

"Okay, so beside you wanting to walk in on me in the shower, why were you looking for me?" I ask and see Four focus. He straightens his back and the blush covering his face disappears: "I heard about last night."

"I figured," I reply and start walking towards the sickbay, well limping is more like it. With every step I take, it's like a knife piercing thru my right knee. Four walks besides me: "I wanted to check up on you."

"Please, don't lie. You wanted to see if Eric didn't kill me and after that you want to scowl me for leaving the compound," I say and try to figure out where the sickbay is actually located in this compound. Four points it out for me. Why does everyone seem to know what I am thinking lately?

"What were you thinking? You know you aren't allowed to leave this place, at least not without supervision. Why didn't you ask me or Eric," Four starts his scolding. I knew it. Well, it's not like I will get away from it, might as well just listen to him: "Come on Four, Eric would have never let me go and frankly I didn't expect you to give me permission either."

"You could have still tried. Maybe I would have surprised you," Four says and I am strangely reminded of Eric's words from yesterday. He said the same exact thing: "Now you almost got yourself killed. You were lucky Michael was there and that Amber and Eric found you. What if the factionless found you instead? They could have killed you and no one would know."

"I figured and I thought I could handle it," I answer and see a sign up ahead that informs me that the sickbay is down that corridor on the right. I follow it and Four stalks after me. I really wished he would go away: "And as you can see, I am psychically regretting my actions of last night."

"I don't think you understand the seriousness of the situation Andy. You could have been kicked out of Dauntless. For all we know, you might still get kicked out of Dauntless by the end of tonight," Four's words make me stop. Wait, I am still not sure I actually get to stay. I thought Eric had decided on that matter. Is he taking it back?

"Eric has to give a damn good reason why you and Michael should be allowed to stay and knowing Eric I am not betting my money on him to safe your ass," Four warns me. But the gorilla said that we were cool yesterday. I thought I was out of the fire, now I am back into the frying pan?

"He is talking with Max as we speak about this matter," Four tells me and my thoughts are going into overdrive. Eric didn't really tell me I could say. He said that if I didn't get the tattoo, he would kick me out, but he didn't specifically say that I was allowed to stay after I got the tattoo. Maybe he just wanted to mess with me one last time, taking advantage of my fear. Why would he keep me around? It's not like I am the best combat fighter among the initiates. I am smart, but that isn't a Dauntless trait exactly. He has been keeping his eye on me since that night on the roof and he has never liked me. There is nothing stopping him from throwing me out of Dauntless.

What am I going to do?

First things first. If I am going to get kicked out, I will need my head and knees fixed. I doubt the factionless have medication and I can't rely on Abnegation for taking care of me. They probably have more wounded people to take care of. After the sickbay, I'll graph some food and clothes and make a bag. I can hide it somewhere outside. At least that way Michael and I will have something to eat. If they throw me out, they have to throw him out as well. I also have to make sure I graph the communication device. We can use that to contact Sacha and Tabassum and ask them for help.

"Then I will see what happens, but right know I need stitches," I tell Four and walk over to a Dauntless nurse. I show her my wounds and she tells me to lay down on one of the beds. With my mind going into overdrive, I hardly realize that this woman is about to pierce my flesh with a needle. She cleans the wounds with some water. Her hands aren't gentle. They aren't gentle at all. I guess that could have been expected from a Dauntless woman.

"I am going to…" the woman warns me but I interrupt her: "Just do it and hurry up. I hate needles."

I feel the needle press thru my skin and I bite my teeth. There is nothing to worry about. This woman knows what she is doing and it will all be over soon. I try to think about something else, but all my brain could focus on was the needle going thru my skin. Thank god I only have one cut that needs stitches. It takes the woman a minute to stitch my knee up. When she says she is done, I let go of the breath I had been holding without knowing.

"You need to take it easy the next couple of days. Try to put most of your weight on your left leg and no combat training for you, you hear me," the woman warns me and gives Four a threading glare. He knots: "I will make sure that she takes it easy. Thank you."

Four is always so polity. It doesn't sound very Dauntless like. In fact I don't I have ever heard him say anything mean, like Eric does constantly. He makes jokes, but he knows perfectly well when to stop and he never hurts your feelings. He is nice, maybe to nice. I wonder from what faction he comes, because he is defiantly not a Dauntless born.

"What about my headache?" I ask the woman and divert my attention from Four. I'll figure out later where he comes from, if I have time for that. The nurse turns around and graphs some pills from a closet: "Take these, twice a day with your dinner. No more. Take them until the bottle's empty."

"Thanks," I say and want to take the pills from her, but Four snatches them away from her: "Will she survive with one pill a day?"

"Yes, but it won't be comfortable," the nurse replies and seems to understand what Four is aiming at. He takes out one pill and gives it to me: "You get one pill a day, maybe that will make you learn to follow the rules. Now go and eat."

I bite my tongue from asking '_anything else sir_', but it's visible in my eyes what I am thinking. It might have been a stupid move in their eyes, but I don't regret it and neither does Michael. We needed to meet those people and our families were in danger. What did they expect us to do, turn the other way and hope they were alright? My sister could have died in that fire.

I walk slowly towards the dining hall. None of my friends are in sight. Where are they? They can't be training, considering that Eric is talking to Max and Four was just talking to me. Maybe we got a day of because of Michael and my stunt or because what happened yesterday at Erudite. I will admit that I am secretly pleased about not having to train for a few days. I graph a plate and fill it with muffins and toast. My stomach is completely empty. I haven't eaten since last night, before I left the compound.

I had graphed some extra muffins and two pieces of Dauntless cake. I will hide them under my bed, while I go look for a bag and some extra clothes. Maybe I will run into Michael and we can form a plan together. When I am finished eating, I start my mission of gathering stuff that we might need when we become factionless. I have no clue what Eric would say to Max. After our conversation of last night, I thought he wasn't as bad as I thought, but now that my life in Dauntless is hanging in his hands, I am not so sure anymore.

"Andy!" I am hiding the food under my bed when Michael walks in our sleeping quarters. He is alone and out of breath. Has the verdict been called? Are we factionless: "I have been looking for you everywhere. Four told me you went to the dining hall, but you weren't there."

"Yeah, I ate quickly and came here to hide these," I explain and show Michael my hidden food: "It might come in handy later, if they decide to kick us out."

"Yeah, you heard huh. What happened last night with Eric? I waited for you, but well I guess I fell asleep," Michael says and pulls a bag out from underneath his bed. Apparently he has been having the same thoughts as I have: "I started packing right after Four told me that Eric went to talk with Max. The others don't know what is going on and Four sent them out with a patrol to keep them busy."

"Good, I don't feel like explaining myself for the millions time today. Besides, there is nothing they can do. It all depends on what Eric tells Max," I say and put some clothes and the food in Michaels bag. I tell him what happened between Eric and me last night and what the story was that I gave Eric: "You have to tell him the same thing. Else he will know we are lying."

"I know," Michael says and he graphs some of his clothes as well. Another thought crossed my mind: "If we are allowed to stay Michael, you have to keep your distance from me. I think Jeanine knows about me being you know what. She might have spies watching me."

"Why do you think she knows?" Michael asks me stunned, but he understands that it's for his own safety. We haven't been the best of friends during our initiation, so it would be weird if we suddenly always hang out together. People might ask questions and the wrong people might make conclusions out of our sudden friendship.

"I might have a spy in Erudite," I explain and sit down. My knee is throbbing and the stress of the whole situation is making my headache worst. I thought these stupid pills were supposed to help me? Michael grins: "Marie?"

"I am not responding to that with a dignified answer," I tell the boy and try to relax. It seems that trying to relax has been the theme of my life these last couple of days. Maybe I take to many risks: "You kind of just did, Caine."

"Whatever Michael."

We stay in our room. There is no where we can go. We have to wait until we hear what our punishment will be. I wonder what we have to do, if we get to stay. I guess it doesn't matter, as long as I, I mean we, get to stay. I am not abandoning Michael if he gets thrown out, but I don't. Not like that is likely to happen. The other way around maybe: "Let's make a deal. In case that only one of us get's thrown out, the other stays here okay. There is no point in becoming both factionless, if they allow one of us to stay."

Michael thinks it over. I don't plan to follow my own deal, but I want Michael to stay if they give him the change. We can make it past Dauntless initiation, I am sure of it. Michael sighs: "Okay, but that counts for you as well, Andy."

"Deal," I lie and fall asleep. My dreams are a jumble. I dream about my parents and about the fire of last night. I dream that I didn't find Marie and that Eric didn't let me come back to the compound. I dream that Sacha and Tabassum turn against me and that Michael leaves me behind when they attack us.

When Michael wakes me up a few hours later, I have a massive headache and I have to focus hard on Michaels words: "Four is here. We have to go see Max."

A nasty feeling stirrers inside my stomach. They have come to a verdict. We get to stay or we become factionless. I have no clue which one they will pick. How serious do they think our actions were? They only know we went to Erudite to see our families and we ended up witnessing the fire. Maybe they will take pity on us, because our families could have died last night. I still don't know where mom and dad are. Maybe they are…

"Let's go you too, we shouldn't keep Max waiting," Four pulls me out of my thoughts and we walk towards Max his office. Four guides us towards it. I have no clue where Max his office is or where any of the offices or sleeping quarters of the Dauntless leaders are. I should know that though. You never know when it might come in handy. What if I needed Eric or Four for that matter? I wouldn't know where to start looking for them.

We walk slowly because of my limp, but we still arrive too soon at Max's office. I feel my heart pounding like I had just run 10 miles and my legs were heavy to lift. Four knocked on the door. Everything seemed to go in slow motion. It took Max basically like forever to respond and it took Four even longer to open the door. I look at Michael and our eyes meet.

This is it. Will our actions lead us to our downfall or will they give us a second change?

I have only seen Max three times. The first time was at our welcoming ceremony and the other two times was in the dining hall. I have never spoken to him though. He is sitting in his chair, behind a desk. It seemed a little weird to me: a Dauntless leader sitting at a desk. He should be standing and looking at cameras or something like that. Not sitting at a desk with paper in front of him.

"You can leave Four," Max says and he looks up from his papers. Four does as he is told. He gives us one reassuring look and then closes the door behind him. He really cares about us, even though he is mad at us. It's like he doesn't wants us to get thrown out of Dauntless. Maybe he used to be part of Amity, they are really friendly and carrying people.

Michael and I stand, while Max finishes writing something down. I feel nervous. I don't know what this man will say. I have no clue how to judge him. Max is not a really tall man. He is maybe an inch taller than Michael, but both Four and Eric are taller than him. He doesn't seem as intimidating as Eric does. Maybe that is not a good thing, because it will make people underestimate you.

"I have heard that you two left the compound last night, without supervision or permission," Max says as he closes a file and leans back in his chair. His dark eyes are looking us over. He is trying to deduce something from our bodies, but he doesn't have the analyzing abilities that the Erudite do. I am glad that I do. I can tell by his posture that he hasn't completely made up his mind yet about is. Maybe there is still hope.

"Yes sir, I wanted to visit my family. Michael tried to stop me. He came with me to make sure I wouldn't get hurt," I explain and try to keep my sentences short. This isn't the place to beat around the bush. Michael nods in agreement next to me. I try to let my body take a relaxed position, but the stress of the situation doesn't allow it: "Without him I would have probably died."

"I heard about that. I assume you went to the sickbay to take care of it," Max asks me and I knot. The man stands up and looks out the window behind him. It oversees the pit. His hands are resting behind is back: "You know the rules and what the consequences are for breaking them and yet you still broke them. Tell me why I should allow you to stay."

"Because we scored the highest in the initiations ranking. We took down, together, the Dauntless born initiates. We could become very valued members of Dauntless one day, if you let us stay," Michael says boldly. He is right, but I am not sure that I would have used those words to plead for our stay in this compound. On the other hand he did seem extremely confident. Maybe that's why our teachers always loved him. He can pursued people with his confidence.

"So I should forget about it because you are the best in your group?" Max says and Michael shakes his head: "No sir, you shouldn't. Punishment is completely understandable and we will do whatever you tell us to do. I am saying that throwing us out of Dauntless is a mistake and judging from your words and body language, you agree with me."

I was perplexed. I never knew Michael was so…so badass. I am starting to believe his speech. He can be very convincing. How does he do that? And he is not even lying? He is using facts that are all true. Maybe he has a hidden Candor side. I follow Michaels lead: "He is right sir. If you wanted to throw us out, you would have done it by now. You also shouldn't throw Michael out. He wanted to protect me and needed to break a rule for that. I believe that fits in with the Dauntless morals."

Max thinks it's over. I feel confident that he isn't going to throw us out, but I don't understand completely why he would let twee teenagers, who broke the rules, make their case. We are children, why does he listen to us?

"You are right," Max says after three very long minutes. He is agreeing with us: "Michael you did what I expect from every other Dauntless men in this compound. I should reward you instead of punishing you, but you are an initiate and you should have called for help instead of going after Andy. You will be punished for that, but it won't be as bad as Andy's punishment. You, young lady, broke the rules and brought a fellow initiate in danger. We live according to a saying Andy, faction before blood, not the other way around. If you want to survive in this compound, I suggest you start living according to this saying. You will be put on probation. Your score from the initiation test will be whipped clean and you will start the second stage with a score of zero. You will also work in your free time for this compound, to make it up to us. Every day you will report to Eric and he will keep an eye on you. Is that understood?"

"Cristal sir."

"You may take your leave then. Starting tomorrow, you will both help in the kitchen," Max dismisses us and we take our leave. Four isn't waiting outside for us. We walk back to our sleeping quarter and don't speak say a word on our way. Inside our room, we sit down on Michael's bed and our minds are thinking the same thing.

Max doesn't have an actual reason to let us stay. We broke the rules, we should have been kicked out or at least I should have been kicked out. Max kept us here for a reason and it sounds very convenient that Eric has to watch over me during this probation.

Could Max be one of the Dauntless leaders who are an enemy?


	20. Chapter 20

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**Chapter 20**

"Wake up Andy, time for work!" Michael's annoying voice calls at me while he gets dressed. I still can't get used to getting up at five in the morning. We both have to help out in the kitchen because of our punishment. It's been three days since Max decided that Michael and I could stay and that we figured out that we don't trust him. He has kept a close eye on both of us, usually checking in with us around 6:30 in the dining hall. I don't feel safe around him. Sometimes he tries to be nice while at other times he is very strict. He switches between moods so fast, I can't predict how he will react to anything I say. For that reason I keep my conversations with the man short and simple. Michael feels the same way about Max. His eyes follow our leader whenever he is around.

Besides our morning work, Michael and I barely spend time together. He usually hangs out with Sarah, Victor and Marc, while I talk with Lucas, Annie and Rob. Conversations with Marnie and Kim are our even grounds.

When the others came back from their work the evening that Max decided to let us stay, we had a lot of explaining to do. They were generally angry at us, mostly at me. It's understandable. We couldn't tell them the truth, so we repeated the lie we had told everybody else. Kim scowled us, but was pleasantly surprised that I managed to have a decent conversation with Eric. I didn't tell her the contents of the conversation, but she was secretly proud none the less.

Because of what happened at Erudite, our training has been post pound for four days. A lot of Dauntless soldiers were needed to help out the families whose houses were destroyed. They needed to move, so the Dauntless could start repairing their homes. Eric, Four and Lauren were gone most of the time to help out. Eric checks up on me in the morning and evening when he gets back from Erudite. I usually end up having to warm his food. Bloody prick.

Four and Eric haven't mentioned my escape since it was announced that Michael and I were to stay. I am very pleased with that, but I can tell by Fours posture that he is biting his tongue every time he sees me. My conversations with Eric are too short to give him an opportunity to talk about it. Besides no one knows what was said inside Max his office. Everyone basically believes that he decided that a punishment would be enough. What Michael and I said wasn't publically announced. Maybe that's for the better. I am already in enough trouble as it is and Four and Kim would scowl me for my rudeness.

"I am coming," I say and literally drag myself out of my bed. It isn't easy getting up this early, knowing that I only went to bed at 12 pm. In the evening I also help out in the kitchens, but at night I have to do the dishes in the bar. It's really hard work. I basically only wash glasses, but the pile never gets smaller and I never get a break. Not that I complain. Charlotte and Scott are the owners of the bar and they are good friends with Max. I try to stay out of their way as much as possible.

As Michael and I walk towards the kitchen, I notice that my knee isn't healing as fast as I liked it to be. During the day I stand a lot on my feet. It isn't good for my knee. I should be taking it easy with my wound, but I only complain about it in front of Michael. I think that if I complain in front of anyone else, they would laugh and make me work harder. The physical pain is a double punishment. My headaches are starting to go away. Usually they act up in the evening, because I am suppose to take my second pill then, but Four only gives me one a day. It's an extra punishment. That man can be a mean prick. I thank whatever gods are up there every night when Charlotte tells me I can leave. She is a lot nicer than Scott. If he could, he would let me work while he went to bed.

"Two more days and we finally find out what stage two of our training is. Are you excited?" Michael asks me while we begin our morning ritual of making muffins. The only upside of this job is that we get to eat as much muffins and Dauntless cake as we like: "Yeah, I am curious as to how they are going to test us emotionally. I heard in Erudite they were working on some kind of machine to perfect stage two of Dauntless initiation, but I didn't hear what it exactly does. I guess we won't be doing any physical stuff anymore."

"I am secretly pleased with that," Michael whispers and we try to make the best out of our job, without it seeming that we are having too much fun. The only thing that makes this job bearably is knowing that Michael will be there and I can have some sneaky fun with him. Like throwing flour at each other or eating whip cream from the bottle when no one is looking.

"How are the rebels of our group doing?" Kim asks us when they came for their breakfast. After having them make me prepare their breakfasts three mornings in a row, I can guess what they all eat in the morning. When we see them coming, usually one of us starts gathering the stuff our friends eat. We try to suck up to them this way.

"Peachy as always. The world of cooking is fascinating," I joke and offer Kim her tree toasts, jam and one muffin. She grins at me: "Well at least now we can get free food whenever we want."

"Free food? Since when are we paying for anything?" Marnie asks Kim and the other girl rolls her eyes: "You know what I mean stupid."

Marnie and Kim start bickering. That has been going on a lot lately. I wonder what got between them. They hang out less with each other and we can almost announce when they are going to fight. It's getting annoying.

"How are you holding up? Not yet tired of the routine?" Lucas asks me, as he graphs some juice to go with his breakfast: "No, it's actually nice having such a tight schedule. I can predict when I will have to talk to people. I'll show you, its 8:00 AM, that means that Eric will be here in three, two, one…"

"Initiate, where is my breakfast?" the voice of the load and still obnoxious Dauntless leader yells from across the dining hall. Amber and two other guys' are walking behind him. They are packed to head out to Erudite. I wonder if Eric finds it weird to go back there.

"You mean second breakfast?" I answer the man and he grins. He eats every morning at 7:00 am and comes back at 8.00 am to graph some food for on the way. He also comes back to secretly annoy me, although he has admitted that out load so I guess it's not a secret. I graph him three muffins and some dry toast.

"Are you behaving, _limpy_?" the man asked me and uses his favorite new nickname for me. Thank you knee injury. I smile as politely as possible, while giving the man his breakfast: "Yes sir."

"Are you working hard?"

"Of course sir."

"Not annoying anyone?"

"I only annoy you sir."

"Good to know, _limpy_. Stay out of trouble. Make sure my dinner is warm when I come and check up on you again tonight," Eric says and takes his leave with Amber and the two men. Amber is wrapped up in a conversation with one of the two men. She was constantly touching him or herself: on his arm, shoulder, whipping her hair over her shoulder and so on. Is she flirting with that man?

"Yes sir," I call after Eric and secretly picture myself throwing muffins at the man's fat head. This conversation has been going on since I first started working here. I know his questions by now. I try to keep my answer short to avoid making a scene, but that is not easy. His ego grows whenever I call him _sir_: "Dickhead. See what I mean Lucas."

Before my friend can answer, Eric is back and says he forgot something. I should have seen it coming, but I guess my brain is still half sleeping. He flicks my forehead and grins: "That's for calling me a dickhead, initiate."

I am to dumbstruck to pretend that I didn't call him that and Eric walks away. He couldn't have heard me call him that. He was almost on the other side of the room and I didn't say it loud, just loud enough for my friends to hear. How could he have…?

"You are predictable initiate," Eric tells me and he has his trusty grin plastered across his face. He leaves after that. He knew I would call him a dickhead? Am I that transparent? Michael and Lucas stop me from throwing muffins at the man's oversized head. Stupid gorilla!

My day is very uneventful and I end up sleeping most of the day. Michael goes off to practice with the others. It has been announced who of the Dauntless born initiates were allowed to stay and who became factionless. The Dauntless born initiates who were allowed to stay have started training a lot together. They have learnt their lesson and they won't underestimate us again. Whenever I see them they walk together and they send mean glares my way. I don't think they are planning on becoming our friends. Four and Amber told me that they had never seen such rivalry between the initiate groups. I can't wait until stage two of our training begins and we have to train with them. I give it one hour until we jump at each other's throats.

While the others are practicing, I retreat to our room. I could use a power nap before my evening shift in the kitchen. It might help with my upcoming headache. I lie down on my bed and let my thoughts wander. I have contacted Sacha and Tabassum about the fire at Erudite and my parents. They told me they would let me know if they could find out anything, but they assured me that the factionless were not involved. That means that someone from Erudite must have started the fire, but who would do something like that? They endangered the lives of a lot of families. Children could have died. Is Jeanine capable of doing something like that? Or was it maybe one of the Dauntless leaders who are conspiring with her?

So many questions and no one can answer them for me. It is very frustrating. I hope I hear soon from them. They would contact my sister and look around for my parents. Maybe Marie will send on a message. It would be nice to hear how she is doing. It worries me that I don't know if she is alone or if mom and dad are back yet.

I wake up just in time for my evening shift in the kitchen. I have to wash and cut vegetables. It is a very boring job. I am allowed to eat with my friends though. Afterwards I just have to go back and help Maggie, the head of the kitchen, clean up.

"I am so ready to take this second stage on," Marc says while stuffing his face with meat. Marnie looks at him disgusted: "You are such a pig! Ever heard of eating with your mouth close?"

"I am more curious to the Dauntless born initiates. I wonder how we will do in practice together. We are bound to clash with each other," Rob avoids an argument between Marnie and Marc. They have also been acting weird. They used to get along fine, but now they bicker consonantly. It seems that Marnie is fed up about something and that makes her lash out easily. Kim and Marc are her usual victims.

"Me too. I wonder how strong they are," Victor continues and his brother agrees. I always thought they looked fierce, but that doesn't mean they are actually strong. I see them every morning and evening when they come to the dining hall to eat. They aren't really friendly, but I guess that is understandable. They always talk bad about my friends, but because of my probation I try to ignore them. It would probably end badly if I did say something about it. One time one of them was accidently dropping food on the ground. He was sneaky about it. Anyone who hadn't heard their conversation would think it really was an accident. I heard the conversation and knew better. He did it so that I had to clean it up. While I was on my knees the guy spoke to me: "Get used to scraping food of the floor, by the end of initiation it will become a permanent habit for you, _trash_."

"Pretty big words coming from a guy who lost to this _trash_," Eric's voice spoke from behind the kid and he paled. He was afraid from Eric. Understandable considering that Eric was putting up his though front and he was as intimidating as ever. He has his arms crossed in front of his chest and that made his muscles look bigger, especially his arms: "Beat it."

The guy quickly left with his friends and they didn't bother me for the rest of the day. When they came to breakfast this morning they were all quite when they passed me, but their eyes were still killing me with daggers. Whatever, I still had to clean his mess up and Eric enjoyed it: "Clean up the mess initiate."

"Jackass."

"It doesn't matter how strong they are. We have proven once we could take them on, we can do it again," Sarah says and Kim and Annie cheer for our little group. I wonder if they are really entering stage two of our initiation with those thoughts. I am not sure we will be able to lean on each other during the next stage. It will test us emotionally. Everyone is different when it comes to that. I think the training will be more individual from now on and that worries me. I won't be able to ask the others for help. I can't count on Michael to watching my back.

The others head out to the pit, while I retreat to the kitchen. Eric will probably show up in 15 minutes and expect his meal to be warm. It's moments like this I remember my mother tell my father he should warm up his own dinner and get of his lazy ass. It was funny when mom and dad fought, because one of them would give up at some point and would start to stutter and say incoherent words. It was always funny to witness.

I help Maggie clean up the kitchen and the dining hall: doing the dishes, cleaning the counters, taking out the trash and mobbing. Doing the dishes is the worst. Dauntless people can be very messy. I forget about time and an hour passes quickly. Eric still hadn't shown up.

"Maggie are you sure I don't have to help you with anything else?" I ask the older woman. She is the oldest person in this compound. She is allowed to stay, despite her age, because she used to be a Dauntless leader (and a really good one so I have heard) and she is an amazing cook. Apparently she is the only one in this compound who can handle the pressure of a kitchen that has to provide the Dauntless people of food. They tend to get very mean when they are hungry.

"That's alright dear, I will manage. You have a long shift ahead of you at the bar. You should rest, it might help your headache," the woman assured me. She is very friendly. Her white hair reminds me of my grandmother. Maybe she knew her? My grandmother was older, but it could be possible. I feel her ring rest on my chest, beneath my t-shirt.

"It's fine. I am getting used to the headache," I say and take out the last of the garbage. When I return, Maggie is making a plate for someone. She places it in the fridge, along with a bear. She catches me staring: "Your friend has yet to come graph his diner."

"Yes, he is really late," I say and look at the clock. 8:30 pm. Eric usually comes to eat around 6:30 pm. I have noticed these last couple of days that he is a very punctual man. I can almost count down the seconds when Eric comes to graph his breakfast and dinner. It's weird that he is so late. Maybe something happened at Erudite again?

"Don't worry dear, he will show up. Every man needs his dinner," Maggie says and starts checking the ingredients we will need tomorrow. Every night she has to chart the ingredients we have in the kitchen and pass on what we need for the next day. It amazes me how much this woman works: "Oh I am not worried. He can handle himself."

"Yes he can. It amazes me how strong he is," Maggie says and her tone sounds weird. She has a small smile hanging on her lips. She catches me staring again: "You have to admit dear, that he looks nice."

"Maggie!" I laugh and I don't know what to say to that. The man is not bad to look at, but the idea of voicing that thought was to horrifying. A blush does find its way to my cheeks.

"I can always count on my Maggie for making my day better," Eric's voice enters the kitchen and Maggie laughs and a small blush cover her pale cheeks. Eric drops his bag at the door and sits down at the counter. He winks at Maggie and she smiles back. I feel really uncomfortable.

"Andy, can you graph the plate I just made for Eric? I need to give my order for tomorrow to the supply guy's," Maggie says and she takes her leave. I do as the woman asked me to do. When I give Eric his bear, I sit down in front of him and stare at him. He eyes me: "Can I help you?"

"You got a new girlfriend you want to tell me about?" I joke and Eric grins.

"Are you jealous?"

"Extremely, I thought I was the only one."

Eric drinks his bear. The man looks tired. Must have been working hard at Erudite or whatever he does all day.

"I thought I asked you to have my dinner warm when I came to eat it," Eric says.

"Your dinner was warm at the hour that you usually come to eat," I replay and place his plate in front of him. Eric digs in and it only takes him a few minutes to eat everything: "You really did that?"

"Yes, sometimes I am able to find the will in myself to do as you ask of me," I reply and watch Eric finish his plate. I don't know why I stay and sit with him. I should go to my room and rest, but I don't move. I place my head on my hand and enjoy the silence. It doesn't help my headaches that I have to work in the loud kitchen and dining hall.

"How is the head?" Eric asks me when he finishes. I place his plate in the dishwasher and sit back down. The effect of my pill is lessening. Stupid Four, making me suffer: "I think it's throwing a party in celebration of your arrival."

"Have you gone to the sickbay to get more pills," Eric asks me and finishes his bear. I don't understand why people drink alcohol? I taste a bear once and it tasted so foul: "Like I am going to do that. I should take two a day, but that stupid prick only gives me one a day."

"Who?"

"Your lovely companion," I answer and open one eye to look at Eric. He needs a few seconds to think it over who I could be referring to. Apparently Eric doesn't even think of Four as a friend, if he can't even figure out that I am referring to the guy he spends most hours of the day with: "Wait, Four?"

"Exactly," I reply and close my eye again. The light in the kitchen is very bright and it hurts my eyes. Eric laughs at the thought that Four would do something like that. It's nice of him to enjoy my pain: "Ha, I never thought he would do something like that."

"Well he does. I am starting to dislike him almost as much as I dislike you," I say and get up. I should take a nap if the light is starting to hurt my eyes. Else I will never survive my shift in the bar. Eric grins: "As long as you _dislike_ me the most, I am fine with it."

"I figured you would be," I sigh and take my leave from the kitchen. I am done for the day and Maggie will probably take her time with the supply guy's, considering she always has a laugh with them. She is like the mother of this entire compound. Everyone loves her and will do whatever she asks them to do. She is secretly still in charge of the compound, Max is just blinded by her sweetness if you ask me.

Eric walks with me towards the pit. We walk in silence and it bugs me. It is not a comfortable silence. I can tell Eric wants to say something, but he doesn't. Why? I search for a subject to talk about: "How was work at Erudite?"

"Tedious, they are so damn obnoxious. No wonder you left them," Eric says and sighs. The Erudite can be that when they want to be, but in all fairness, a lot of them they don't realize they do that. Anyway, Eric is one to talk: "So are you. You are insufferable."

"I am tolerable," Eric says with a slightly raised voice. His eyes warn me not to push it. He seems to have learned my way of sarcasm. During our first days together he would get angry immediately. Now he can handle it better. It makes pushing his buttons so much more enjoyable: "Barely."

"Watch it _limpy_. I might not want to help you out next time you get yourself into trouble," Eric warns me, but his smirk tells me he is joking as well. He makes it sounds like I own him a lot. He only saved me once, okay maybe twice. Eric seems to know what I am thinking: "You owe me a lot more. You wouldn't even be here if I hadn't pulled you on the train on choosing day and you wouldn't be here anymore if I hadn't talked Max out of kicking you out of Dauntless. And I saved your ass twice during the test. You really own me a lot, initiate."

He does kind of have a point. Wait, he talked Max out of kicking me out of Dauntless. Why would he do that? We can't stand each other. I make fun of him a lot and I end up doing the opposite of what he tells me to do. I am probably the most un- respectful initiate ever. Why would he want to keep me around? I thought he would be the one to cheer Max on when he decided to kick me out of Dauntless.

"Why did you do that? Talk Max out of throwing me out?" I ask and stand still. Eric turns around. I can't think of anything that could explain why he would want to keep me around. Maybe he thinks I have what it takes to become Dauntless. They are people who voice their opinions and who don't let others walk over them. I kind of do that, maybe not always in the best situations or in the most favorable ways, but I still do it.

"I would get bored if you are not around to annoy," Eric answers me after a few seconds. I don't believe that he is telling the truth. He might enjoy our little fights, but not enough to change Max is opinion. I don't voice my thoughts. Who knows what his true thoughts were. The nasty feeling I get when I think about Eric being the traitor, shows its head in my stomach. I go along with Eric: "Are you getting off on it?"

"Absolutely," Eric answers and he grins. His expression makes the nasty feeling go away and I feel at ease again around the man. I walk up to him and punch him in the arm: "You pervert! Why are all you trainers such perverts?"

I hadn't directed that last part towards Eric, but he heard it none the less. I cursed my own existents for saying it. I didn't want to bring it up, I didn't want to think about it and I most certainty did not want to explain myself towards Eric, of all people. That didn't mean though that he was going to let it go. He graphed my arm before I could escape him and he had some kind of death grip on it. I tried to pull myself lose, but he only pulled me closer and before I knew it his arm was around my waist and it didn't allow me to move away from the man: "Are you really thinking you can say something like that and just walk away from me without an explanation?"

"Eum…I…kind off," I stutter and Eric's grin grows. I don't like this. I don't like this at all. I am not going to tell him what happened with Four and I don't want him to hold me this close to his body. I suppress the urge to blush at the lack of space between our bodies. It reminded me of my jump from the pillar during the test.

"You are blushing and stuttering. I didn't think it was possible for you to do those things," Eric states. I can't control the blush anymore and it leaks out. I feel very stupid and this man is enjoying it. I try again to escape the man's arms and I curse every single soul that lives in this compound that has decided to not walk down this corridor. Why can't someone show up and help me?

"Let me go, you oversized gorilla," I answer him, slightly angry. I do not want to be here anymore. It is to embarrassing and I don't like how my heart is beating faster at the thought of Eric's body pressed up against mine. It is unnatural. And wrong. He should let me go.

"Oh no, I think…" Eric starts to say something, but my snappy mouth interrupts him: "Since when do you think?"

Eric's grin drops and I can feel his body get tense. The air between us is shifting. This embarrassing thing that happened between Four and me has somehow managed to start another argument between Eric and me. Eric finds his voice again: "Are you giving me attitude?"

"Are you deaf?" I answer quickly and I pull my arms lose and push them against Eric his chest, trying to make him let me go. I ignore the feeling of his muscles beneath my hands. The man's arm around my waist tightens: "Do you want to hang above the chasm again, initiate."

"Are you really that thick headed that you cannot remember my name," I spit back and without realizing Eric pulls me closer and I can feel his heartbeat rise beneath my fingers. My eyes have been avoiding his, but he manages to catch them: "Do you want to say that again with me, _initiate_?"

He emphasized the last part and I could feel my anger rise. It really annoys me that he keeps calling me initiate. I am a person and I have a name. I can deal with people calling me nicknames every now and then, but he consistently calls me initiate or _limpy_. He can remember all the other initiates their names, so he should stop calling me that.

"Like I asked before, are you…" I stop mid sentence. My body freezes and I could tell by the way Eric's body froze that he realized it too. Our faces were very close. I am glad that I was blushing from earlier. Eric couldn't tell I was blushing because of our close proximity. My breath was stuck in my throat and I couldn't find the will or the concentration to start breathing properly again.

One of my hands had somehow placed itself on Eric his shoulder and I could feel his hands on my back. It didn't feel horrible. I want the moment to end tough. I want to move my body away from Eric's, but my brain has shut down apparently. I can't seem to think straight anymore and all I can do is wait for Eric to let me go, but he stands still. I can't make out what he is thinking. My eyes are caught by his and I can't seem to draw them away from his grey eyes.

After the initial shock was starting to disappear, my brain started rebooting itself. I was slowly able to think again and I busted myself on thinking that it wasn't that bad being stuck in this man his arms. I have felt safe in them before, but now I don't know what I am feeling. We aren't in danger, like last time. We are just standing in a hallway that is deserted, pressed up against one and other.

Eric his heartbeat is starting to slow down and I manage to pull my eyes away from his. I lower them, but that wasn't the smartest idea. My eyes land on his lips and I wondered what would happen if I leaned closer. It must have been some outer force that made me move closer.

But it was an inner force that snapped us out of it. A loud bang, coming from the pit, made me pull away from Eric and his arm let me go slowly. It was almost like he didn't want to let me go or maybe I didn't want him to let me go. What is happening to me?

We didn't say anything and we went our separate ways.


	21. Chapter 21

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**Chapter 21**

My heart is beating fast. My breath is stuck in the back of my throat. I want to scream, but I seem to have lost my voice. My legs are trembling. My skin feels ice cold, but on the inside I am burning up. The arm around my waist pulls me closer and tightens its grip on my body. I feel small inside those arms, not intimidating, just small. My left arm is wrapped around the man's neck, while my right hand feels his heart beat fast beneath it. I am stuck in a trance, but at the same time I am extremely aware of everything that is happening around me. A cold breeze makes me push myself closer to him and I wonder how much more his arm can tighten its hold on my frame before it will snap.

The man leans down and his breath hits my lips. They were slightly parted. My hand around his neck moved up and found its way into his hair. His free hand cupped my cheek. I pushed myself up, making me stand on the tip of my toes. Only an inch apart. I wanted to close that inch and my heart started skipping beats. I leaned in closer and…

I woke up from a sudden fall and my body making contact with the ground. My eyes needed a few minutes to adjust and my brain needed even longer to realize what had happened. Rob was sitting on his bed, looking at me with a smug expression: "Having pleasant dreams, are we?"

"More like heavenly nightmares," I reply and my voice sounds very strained as I say that. I was lying on the ground. I must have rolled out of my bed. My blanket was lying beneath me. I stand up and lay back down on my bed. Rob was the only one awake. He was reading something. I look at the clock. 4:50 am. Time for my kitchen shift. I wake Michael up and we get ready for our shift.

I cannot believe I dreamed about kissing…him. My brain has been more damaged by that concussion then I realizes at first. I hadn't told anyone about last night and I never will. This is a secret I am taking to my grave. After the incident yesterday, I came back here to relax and take a nap. Unfortunately the incident kept me tossing and turning in my bed and it made me very agitated. Charlotte, from the bar, had noticed it and asked me about it. I had a hard time lying to her. That it was nothing just exhausted from my work and the headaches. She let me leave an hour earlier than usual. Scott didn't mention it. I didn't get to feel guilty about it. In fact I was extremely pleased when Charlotte told me I could leave.

The main factor of my current problem had been at the bar. He stood outside most of the night, but he came to the counter a couple of times. Seven in total. I counted, I couldn't help it. I needed to know where he was, so that I could be somewhere else, preferable as far away as possible. One time I couldn't avoid him. He was talking to Scott, while waiting for the drinks he had ordered. I was doing my usual job, when Charlotte asked me to fill the fridge beneath the bar. I couldn't get around it. I didn't have an excuse why I couldn't do that at that exact moment, without raising suspicion with Charlotte. I carried the boxes to the fridges, without raising my eyes. I didn't want to see if Eric was still standing there. I suspected he was, because Scott was still talking to someone. I didn't want to look at him. I didn't want my eyes to meet his. I didn't know why, but I was afraid of what I mind there: shame, fear, confusion, mockery… Who know what he was thinking during the incident.

The day seemed to be very uneventful for me until Michael got a message from Sacha and Tabassum on our communication device. They wanted to talk to us and it was urgent. The messages didn't say more. I wondered if they had news about my parents. Maybe it was bad news if they wanted to meet with us quickly. Michael made arrangements with them. They answered us around noon:

_Follow the blue brick road, so that the scarecrow can find his brain. It has a face and arms, but no legs or hands. There is few of you and more of them who took a risk. _

It was a riddle. They could not put in concrete information, because you never know who might get this information. We were supposed to answer Sacha and Tabassum back in a riddle, using the words they used were referring to in their riddle. We went for a run after lunch. It would be a slow one considering my knee injury, but I had to start training it. Tomorrow the second stage of initiation will begin. I need to be ready.

We ran to the practice roof. It was abandoned. Michael stood at the door, making sure no one would hear us. I sat down and stretched: "Okay so the riddle has tree parts. The blue brick road, the face and arm thing and the reference to the Dauntless transfer initiates."

"How do you know they were refereeing to us?" Michael asked me and he sat down next to the door. I give him the water bottle I had taken with me. After sitting still for four days, I was bound to be out of shape considering I have been training my body every day since I made the transfer: "There is few of you and more of them who took a risk. The risk is refereeing to the transfer we made. The first bit of the sentence is referring to you and me and the second part is referring to the others. So that means two and eight, so I am guessing they want to meet us around 10:00pm. The answer to the second riddle is a clock. A clock has a face and arms, but no legs or hands."

"Impressive," Michael compliments me and I smile. It is still weird sometimes that I share this deep secret with him. If you had told me that this would happen a month ago, I would have never believed it. Michael and I were just too different at that time. He throws the bottle back at me: "What about the first part: "Follow the blue brick road, so the scarecrow can find his brain. What does that mean?"

I think it over. I don't understand the scarecrow part. Well I guess scarecrows don't have brains, but why would one want to look for a brain? Michael seems to know the answer to my question: "I think they are referring to an old story, called the Wizard of Oz. My dad used to tell it to me when I was younger."

I don't know the story, so Michael tells it to me: "It is about a girl, named Dorothy. She magically ends up in the Land of Oz She goes on this journey to find the Wizard of Oz to ask him for his help. She wants to go home and his magic can help her. On her way to the castle, she meets three friends: a lion without courage, a tin man without a heart and a scarecrow without a brain. They decide to join Dorothy and ask to Wizard to give them courage, a heart and a brain."

"But what does that have to do with us?" I ask. It is a nice story, but what is the meaning behind it in Sacha and Tabassum their message: "I think that they are referring to us as the scarecrows and they are our brain. They have information that we need. The blue brick road must be where they want to meet us."

"Blue? There are no blue brick roads in the Dauntless compound and they didn't mention anything that could lead us outside the compound," I think out load. Talking in riddles is not my thing. I like to receive the message loud and clear and in words I understand. I didn't read fiction books as a child and my parents never told me any stories like this Wizard of Oz story.

"Could it mean the chasm? That is the only blue thing in this compound and there is a small and might I add dangerous road that leads down next to it. I don't know to where though, but it doesn't look like a road that a lot of people would use," Michael says and it makes sense. They could be referring to the chasm. Now that he mentions it, I have seen the road they are talking about. It is small and the stones are wet from the water that splashes up. It must be a slippery road: "Maybe they want to meet there because it is a slightly dangerous road and I am suspecting that the road of Dorothy and her companions was dangerous as well."

"Yes, so we have to be at the chasm at 10 o'clock tonight," Michael states. I hope the next time Sacha and Tabassum send us a riddle, it won't be so farfetched: "What are we going to answer them? We have to use the words clock, scarecrow and refer to the chasm in code."

"The scarecrow will be on his way to the Wizard. He will use a clock as a guide," Michael suggests after a few minutes. It is simple and I understand the meaning of the message. We only need to add the chasm in it. The chasm is a river, water, boats: "And a ship to transfer him."

"Perfect, so the scarecrow will be on his way to the Wizard. He will use a clock as a guide and a ship to transfer him. I'll send them the message," Michael says and he pulls the device out of his pocket. We head back to the others after that. Michael heads goes with Lucas, Marc and Victor to practice some fight moves, while I stay with the girls and Rob in our room.

After my shift in the evening, Michael I meet up at the chasm. People are walking around, so we can't leave direct, but we have time. It's only 9:30pm and if we are early at the meeting spot, we can hide and wait for the others to arrive.

Most people are starting to head to the pit for some evening fun as Amber would call it. She talks to me every time when I work in the bar. She is good friends with Charlotte. She comes to entertain me for awhile so that I don't get too lonely. It is really nice of her, but after what happened last light, I do not want to be around her. I almost… No, I can't even say it. Because of the incident, I don't want to face her.

"What do you think? The coast seems clear," I say when the corridor was empty besides Michael and me. Michael gets up and walks around casually, eyeing the connecting hallways. He knots after a few seconds and I follow him down the path: "Hurry up! Someone might see us."

Michael was fast and he disappeared quickly in the shadows the rocks provided. I was about to follow him when a voice called my name: "Andy! I need to talk to you."

I freeze out of fear that it could be Eric, but I quickly realize that the voice doesn't sound anything like the man. I turn around and see Max. Why does he want to talk to me? Please don't let him have seen Michael: "Were you going somewhere?"

I think he hasn't seen Michael but he defiantly can tell that I was about to go down this road. I can't deny it: "I am curious to where this road leads. I need to know, so please tell me. My friends keep telling me to forget it, but my brain won't let it go."

Max takes my lie and smiles, but his smile doesn't seem real. It seems forced. What does he want to talk about with me? Max walks up to me and looks down the corridor Michael just disappeared into. I pray to whatever god is out there that my friend doesn't come back to see what is taking me so long. Max interrupts my prayers: "It leads to some old storage rooms. We don't use them anymore because it is difficult to transport our goods down this path. We have lost members of Dauntless because they were reckless and fell into the chasm."

"So there is no way out of it? This is the only way in and out?" I ask too quickly, but it doesn't raise suspicion within Max. He turns around: "No, so if you are thinking about leaving the compound again…"

"I assure you I have learned my lesson. I really hate getting up at 5:00 am in the morning and I hate doing the dishes. I just wanted to quite the Erudite side of my brain," I assured the man. I am still on probation so I have to make sure this man trusts me.

"Erudite side of your brain?" Max asks me while he starts walking towards the pit. I assume he wants me to follow him: "Eum yes sir, I have only been here for a few weeks, while I have lived in Erudite for sixteen year. You cannot expect me to change my way of thinking in a few days. It is a bit deeper rooted into my brain I am afraid."

"I can tell. You think like an Erudite. Have you ever wondered if you made the right decision?" Max asks me and I wonder if it is a trick question. Does he want me to tell him the truth or lie and say that I am completely comfortable in my new home? It sounded fake to my ears. I decide to tell the truth: "I think everyone wonders that at some point during their initiation, but Erudite couldn't offer me the knowledge that I seek."

"And what kind of knowledge is that?" Max asks me and seems pleased with my answer. We walk up the stairs next to the pit, towards Max his office. I see people fighting each other in the center of the pit. Four is one of them. He is fighting a dark skinned man I don't recognize. People were cheering them on. I see Scott and Charlotte walk towards the bar: "The knowledge to survive. Sir, I don't mean to be rude, but my shift at the bar starts in fifteen minutes. I don't have much time."

"You are not working tonight. I talked it over with Charlotte," Max informs me and I feel very heavy all of a sudden. It can't be good news. Working in the bar is a punishment and Max would never give me the night of if it wasn't for a serious reason. I feel very uneasy when I walk into Max his office: "Please sit down."

"I think I would rather stand sir," I say and he can tell that I know he is going to tell me something bad. My feelings are starting to clash with each other. I don't know what to feel: scared, angry, maybe it's not that serious. Max his eyes tell me different. He stands behind his desk and he is searching for the right words: "I have received a call from Jeanine Mathews earlier. She had some bad news. I came to find you afterwards, but it took me awhile to find you and…"

"Please just say what you have to say sir." Max understood my rudeness. He sighed and his shoulders are hanging low. I feel like I am going to throw up: "I am sorry to have to inform you, but some Erudite members found the bodies of your parents this morning. I am afraid they are dead."

The world seems to stop spinning when Max finished his sentence. My parents are dead? My parents…are…dead? Mom? Dad? They are gone? I will never see them again? A sudden guilt washes over me. Why hadn't I said goodbye to them after the choosing ceremony? That was the last time I could have seen them, but I was afraid of meeting their eyes. I didn't want to know if they approved my decision.

What an extremely selfish thought.

The heavy feeling inside my stomach comes up and I am capable of graphing the trashcan that was standing besides Max his desk. I throw up. My entire stomach empties itself and I feel my body start to panic. No! I cannot and will not break down in front of this man. I refuse to let him see me like this.

"The doctors think they died from burn wounds. They must have been inside the building when the fire…" Max explains, but I barely hear his words. I get back some control over my body and I stop throwing up. I whip my mouth and try to stand up. My legs are shaking and my injured knee is bleeding. My head hurts from the sudden outburst of my stomach and the information Max just told me.

My parents can't be dead. They are at home with Marie, making sure she is safe. Where is Marie now? Who is with her when they break the news to her? I try to block out the thoughts that are swirling thru my head and I look at Max. I need to get out of here.

"I informed Charlotte that you wouldn't work today, so that you can deal with this. I suggest you head back to your sleeping quarters," Max suggest and I am thankful for not having to work at the bar tonight. I wouldn't have been able to work anyway. I gather whatever self-control I have inside my body: "Thank you sire. Can I go now?"

"Yes of course," Max says and I take the trashcan with me: "I'll… eum…take this...," I stutter not knowing what I should do with the trashcan. Should I leave it here and let Max clean the mess? Maybe it would be safe to take it with me. I don't know how long I will be able to keep the rest of my stomach on the inside. Max understands and says it's okay. He walks to the door with me: "If there is anything I can do, just let me now. I am truly sorry for your lose."

"Is there…maybe…some other way away from your office? I rather not walk across the pit right now," I ask. Max nods and leads me down an unknown corridor. He doesn't say much and he doesn't lay his arm around my shoulder. I don't want anyone to touch me right now. I just want to be left alone. We stop at a staircase: "Follow these. They will lead you to your corridor."

I nod in understanding and take my leave. I walk faster than normal and stop in front of the door of my sleeping quarter. I could hear Marnies laugh on the other side. They were having fun. I didn't want to be a part of that. I turn around and walk towards the roof practice grounds. I don't run into anyone, so I don't receive any weird stares from people who see me hugging a trashcan. I probably also look like a complete mess at the moment.

I run up the stairs. I feel suffocated inside this compound at the moment and I break down on the roof of the building. I cry. I cry hard. My body is shaking and I end up throwing up again. I stop when there is nothing left inside my stomach. The muscles in my stomach are already sore from throwing up. I wrap my arms around my frame and feel guilt eat me up on the inside. I should have said goodbye. I should have looked for my parents after I found Marie during the fire. I should have never transferred to Dauntless. I should have stayed in Erudite and become like my parents. They would have been safe that way. Why do I have to be Divergent! Why can't it be someone else! Why does it have to be me? I don't want to be it! I want to go home and have my parents wait for my arrival. I want to see Marie and tell here everything will be alright. I want to believe that everything will be alright. A sudden huge responsibility falls upon my shoulders. I have to protect my sister, but how can I do that when I am stuck here in Dauntless? I need to get back to Erudite. I need to see Marie. I need to see that she is alright, that she is alive.

Wait a minute. Marie told me that mom and dad weren't inside our building that night of the fire. They had left and gone to head quarters after their fight with Jeanine. But Max told me the doctors think that they died from burned wounds. Mom and dad weren't inside the building when the fire started and they would never have rushed inside a burning building. The conclusions of the doctor's are wrong. They lied about my parents their death! Why would they do that? Unless they didn't die from a natural cause. They must have been…killed. Jeanine has been angry at me and my parents lately, but she always liked them. She wouldn't have… She couldn't have…could she?

I pass out on the roof from exhaustion.


	22. Chapter 22

**Read & Review please**

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**Chapter 22**

I wake up hours later. I could see the first raise of sunlight pass the horizon and it leaves me memorized. I have never witnessed it before, but it was a very beautiful sight to behold. They sky around the sun was yellow, orange, pink and red and it was slowly pushing the dark sky away from me. For some reason it felt symbolic. Even in times of great terror or fear or sadness, you can always count on the sun to push those bad feelings away. It helped for a minute or two, until I realized that the emptiness inside wouldn't be filled by some beautiful image. It could never be filled by anything else. My parents are gone and someone is responsible for that. I will find out whom and I will make them pay.

My body was sore from sleeping on the ground, but amazingly my knee injury isn't hurting and I don't have a headache anymore. My body doesn't feel cold either. It must have been a warm night. I get up and sit down on the edge of the building, watching the sun cover the city in its light and let my thoughts wonder. There is no point in avoiding any thoughts about my parents and there is no point in bottling my feelings on the inside. I let tears stream down my face and I don't bother to wipe them away.

I wonder if Max told my friends about my parents. I wonder if he told Four and Eric. The thought about them knowing made me feel uncomfortable, but I didn't want to be the one who had to tell the news. I don't want people to get all sad and caring about it. I am not like that. I have never been like that. I deal with things on my own and I like it when the people around me act normal. I don't think I can expect that happening when it comes to my friends. We have been each other's rocks since we got here. They are going to want to support me and I am going to have to deal with that.

I am not good at dealing with emotions in front of other people. I am not a public crier. Never have been and never will be. That always makes people think something is wrong with you. When my grandmother passed away, I didn't cry at her funeral and I didn't cry when my parents told me. I cried when I was alone in my room. People kept telling me I was in shock, but I really wasn't. I just don't feel comfortable to express my emotions in front of other people and I don't know how to deal with people who do. I am the last person you should run to when you are sad and crying. I don't know what to say and I don't know how to act. I can handle Marie, but that is because she is my sister and right now I am the only family she has left and I am the only one who understands what she is going thru.

I end up sitting on that roof, watching the sun for a couple of hours. I don't want to go downstairs and have to deal with everyone's sympathy. I just want to eat and start the second stage of my initiation, so that I can pass that and get one step closer to becoming a full member of this compound. That way I can visit my sister frequently and find out what happened to my parents. They were nice, honest, smart and good people and they did not deserve to die!

"Here you are," I snap out of my thoughts and turn my head. Eric was standing at the door. He seemed to be out of breath. He probably ran up the flight of stairs that connects the pit to this roof. He places something in the opening of the door so that it won't close behind him. Great, I really don't feel like dealing with people and I especially do not feel like dealing with Eric right now. My thoughts go back to what happened two days ago, but I decide it is a stupid thing to worry about. Everything seems stupid right now. The only thing that matters is surviving training, becoming Dauntless, protect Marie and find out what happened to my parents. Even being Divergent seems unimportant at this moment.

I turn my head back and my eyes look up at the blue sky above me. I ignore Eric, maybe that will make him go away. He doesn't unfortunately. He walks up to me and stands on the edge of the roof, searching the sky for whatever I am looking at. When he doesn't find it, he sighs: "I guess I won the bet."

"What bet?" I ask after a few seconds. The sunlight is starting to hurt my eyes, so I close them. Eric sits down next to me. I feel his leg brush past mine. It sends a shiver down my spine, but my brain dismisses it: "When we couldn't find you yesterday, we made a bet."

"Who is we?" I ask. Why would they make a bet about me? I had expected that my friends would come looking for me. I guess they know about what happened. I wonder what Max told them. Did he tell them the same lie he told me? Does he even know he told a lie? Maybe the doctors lied to him and he is just the messenger, but maybe he knows the truth.

"The transfers, Four, Amber and I," Eric explains and he lies down too. The clouds are drifting slowly over our heads, minding their own business. The sun hides behind them sometimes. It promises to be a cloudy day. Eric continues: "Everyone thought you left the compound. They figured you went to see your sister."

"And what made you think I didn't leave?" I ask, truly curios as to why he was the only one he gave me the benefit of the doubt. I will admit that I had wanted to visit Marie, but I didn't have the energy to go: "I think you are smart enough to know that it could mean your immediate departure from Dauntless. You are still on probation. Even with the current circumstances you are not to leave the compound without a guard."

"Maybe," I sigh and realized that the man had a point. If I am going to visit my sister I have to get someone to come with me or I have to make sure I don't get caught this time. I highly doubt though that I can pull that off. Maybe it is a good thing I didn't leave the compound.

"Four went over to Erudite to look for you there," Eric continues explaining. Four? Why would he go over there? He doesn't know Erudite like Eric knows it. He should have been the one to look for me there. Eric seems to be reading my mind: "I figured you were still here on the compound, somewhere so I didn't see the point in going to Erudite. I guess I should have known you would come up here. It seems to be the place you come to hide," Eric explains and I feel uncomfortable that he seems to know me better than I expected. He must keep a closer eye on me then I even realized. I should watch out for that.

We don't talk after that for awhile. I feel strangely comfortable lying here with Eric, on the edge of a roof. I open one eye and scan Eric's face. He seems to be calm. His eyes are closed and he is breathing calmly. He feels my eye on him and he also opens one. His grey eye holds my green one. I don't feel the need to speak. I don't know what to say anyway. I am glad that Eric hasn't brought up the subject that is painfully hanging above our heads. I do not want to talk about it. My thoughts must have been transparent in my eyes. Eric turns his head back and closes his one eye again. I follow his lead and let my mind go blank underneath the sky filled with white clouds. I don't flinch when I felt a big hand touch mine. The texture of the hand was hard, but it spoke of a hidden gentleness. Eric didn't say anything and neither did I. His hand spoke words though. It gave me more comfort than I expected from him and it made me forget the pain in my heart for just a few seconds. His hand was strong and his grip was firm. I didn't pull away.

I don't know how long we lay there, but the moment stopped when my stomach growls. Loudly. I can hold back my laughter until Eric says: "I think your stomach has something to say."

"Yeah I think so to," I say after a fit of giggles has left my body. I feel slightly embarrassed by the sudden sound coming from my stomach, but it is understandable. I haven't eaten since diner last night and everything I did eat came back out the wrong way in Max his office. I probably missed breakfast, but maybe I can slip into the kitchen and look for some leftovers. I feel suddenly light because of the laughing, like it helped take some dark weight out of body. Maybe I can face everyone downstairs now.

Eric stands up and his hand pulls me up next to him. The sudden action made me lose my balance when I tried to stand on my feet. Eric's arm held my body up and he was standing close again. I seem to keep finding myself in close proximity to this man. I didn't mind it though. It didn't feel horrible this time. My heart was calm, my breathing even and my body didn't frees. It felt relaxing feeling Eric's arms around my waist. It felt nice. I decided not to think about it. I leaned in closer and the arm around my waist pulled me closer. My head placed itself against the man's chest and his other arm laid itself around my shoulders. I could hear his heart beat into my ear. It was beating steady and calm. Eric's head was resting on top of mine. My arms went slowly around his body and my hands felt the muscles on his back relax. I closed my eyes and let the hug heal whatever it could heal inside my heart.

Minutes passed. I don't know how many. But Eric pulled me back to reality. He lowered his head and I felt his breath touch my ear: "You should head down and eat. Training will be resumed in an hour."

I was glad he didn't say anything other than that. I didn't want him to point out what had just happened. I wanted to let it be and just pretend like this never happened once I walk down those stairs. I lower my arms and feel Eric do the same thing. I keep my eyes lowered and want to walk away when Eric's hand graphs my wrist and he makes me stop. I turn around, not knowing what to expect. Eric is pulling something out of his pocket. A little orange tube. It was filled with pills. Wait, are those my pills?

"You are going to need them today and tomorrow," Eric says and gives them to me. I take them and I am flabbergasted that Eric got them from Four. I am amazed he went out of his way to talk to Four about it or maybe he went to the medical center and got them there. He is a leader, they wouldn't question him. Whatever, it doesn't matter. What matters is that I have them and I can take two pills a day now. That should reduce my headaches.

I lift my eyes, but my words cling to my tongue. Eric knots his head towards the door, telling me to go eat. I do as he say and take my leave. I forget about the trashcan.

I do as Eric told me and I head over to the kitchen. Maggie had made me a plate and it was waiting for me in the fridge. That woman is a saint. I didn't run into a lot of people. The once I did run into nodded at me when my eyes met theirs. I guess news travels around quickly and this must be the way the Dauntless show their sympathy. I nod back in acknowledgment.

While eating my breakfast my thoughts linger back to my parents and the sunset I saw this morning. It was really beautiful and peaceful. Maybe now it is time for me to get a tattoo, to remind me that after every dark cloud is a shining sun. My parents might be gone, but I still have a lot in my life and I will not let their death be the downfall of me. I will figure out what they were protecting and from who they were protecting it from.

After my breakfast I had over to the tattoo shop. I don't look around me and pry that my friends don't see my right now. I have to do this and I have to do this alone. Tori is reading something on her computer. She nods at me and I nod back: "How can I help you?"

"I want to get a tattoo," I say and I explain what kind of tattoo I want. I ignore my wildly beating heart. I have to do this. I am going to do this. Tori understands and she doesn't question my request. I sit down in one of her tattoo chairs. I take my shirt of and she closes the curtains around us. Thirty minutes later I walk out of the tattoo shop, a white bandage covering the upper side of my left breast, covering my heart. Beneath it was my first tattoo. Tori had tattooed a rising sun above my heart, with an owl flying with its wings spread wide. Its eyes were staring towards what was to come. The sun reminds me of what I learned this morning and the owl symbols my family, my Erudite family.

I was walking to the practice room, when someone graphed my arm and pulled me into a dark ally. I wanted to punch whoever had graphed me, slightly panicking. My fist is intercepted by Michael. He looks worried and his eyes are slightly red. He looks like he hasn't slept at all last night. I completely forgot about our meeting with Sacha and Tabassum. What did they want to talk about?

"We need to talk now and we only have a few seconds. The others were following me," Michael talked fast, while looking around us to make sure no one was watching or following us. He seemed to be panicking slightly. Please don't tell me he is going to bring me more bad news. He had my full attention as he continued: "The second stage of initiation involves some kind of simulation. Sacha and Tabassum know some Divergents who were discovered during this stage. Apparently it is really risky for us, but we can pass it. What did you think during the aptitude test when you were faced with the dog and the man on the train?"

"I…eum…I don't know what I…wait…it wasn't real. I attacked the dog because it wasn't real," I remember and Michael nods. He must have thought the same thing: "Divergents are really good during this second stage because we are capable of thinking like that during the simulation, others can't. We will outshine the others easily because we are Divergent. The point of the simulation is to survive situations that threaten our lives and can paralyze us with fear. Understood?"

I nod and Michael continues: "Tabassum advised us to think like Dauntless and not like a Divergent. We have to face whatever we see in the simulation. Damn, the others are here. Remember what I told you when you go into the simulation... Hey guy's, look who I found."

Our friends walk over to us and I can tell by the looks on their faces they want to share their condolences with me. I put on my brave face and push the information I just received into the back of my mind. I am very grateful that Michael told me this before the beginning of our second stage, else I would have acted the same why as during the aptitude test. That would have made Eric even more suspicious of me. Maybe it would have been all the conformation he needed, that is if he is working alongside the people who are a threat to Divergents, like me.

I accept my friends their support and let them say words of encouragements. Marnie and Annie give me a hug and Lucas places an encouraging hand on my shoulder. I thank them and I give them whatever smile I am capable of giving them at the moment. My eyes feel dry during the whole process and I am thankful for that. I don't want to cry here. I hate crying in front of others.

Our moment is interrupted when Lauren walks over to us. She nods to me and I accept it. She tells us to follow her to the practice ground because we will receive information from Max concerning the second stage of initiation. We look at each other and follow the woman.

Four, Eric and the Dauntless born initiates, who were allowed to stay, were waiting for us. All eyes turned to our group and I ignored the eyes that crossed with mine. I didn't feel like answering them. Max was standing in front of the group. We joined the other initiates. They still eyed us dirty. We are with more now though, we didn't let them intimidate us. In fact, we took it a step further. We didn't place ourselves across them. We walked over to them and stood among them. To an outsider we looked like one group, but we could tell the Dauntless initiates didn't know what to do.

Max didn't acknowledge it. He looked at us, one by one. His eyes lingered a second longer on me and I didn't like it. I felt Michael stand behind me and he leaned his elbow on my shoulder. Sacha and Tabassum must have told him something involving Max. Maybe it involves my parents as well.

"Let me first graduate you all for passing the first stage on our initiation. Before we head on to the second stage of initiation, we will show you your ranking. During the test and your training, your initiators kept a close eye on you. They gave you points for your achievements according to your progress and how good you are in comparison to your fellow initiates. All of you have been compared to each other and here are your results," Max informed us and our names appeared on a scoreboard.

I didn't look for my name. I knew where it would be. A part of my punishment was that I would begin the second stage of initiation with a score of zero points. I was curious to how my friends had scored in comparison to the Dauntless initiates.

Michael

Skander

Tyra

Lucas

Kane

Victor

Marc

Sigrid

Kim

Marnie

Annie

Rob

Andrew

Luissa

Sarah

Andy

Sixteen initiates. We started with twenty-five. I hadn't expected that there would be so many of us left after the first stage of initiation. Then again, there were ten transfer initiates who would automatically stay and only six of the Dauntless born initiates were allowed to stay. Maybe that isn't so much. Nine people became factionless a few days ago. I feel very lucky that my group won capture the flag.

I was surprised to see Annie score so high. She was even standing above Rob. She has grown a lot these last couple of weeks. I had expected to see Michael, Lucas and Victor in the top five, well six. They are the obvious strongest guy's of our group. The Dauntless born initiates have scored high in the rankings. Four out of the six are in the top ten. I shouldn't underestimate them just because we beat them during the test. They will not make the same mistake twice. I guess I have my work cut out for me during this second stage. I need to score points to get higher in the rankings, but I have to watch out that they don't notice me being Divergent.

"The next stage of initiation is different though. You will not be able to lean on one another. You will face a simulation on your own. Your job is to survive it. You will get points based on how well you do in the simulation. Fear is a very powerful thing. It can paralyze even the best trained soldier, but it can also make the weakest soldier stronger. You will learn to deal with your own fears during this stage of initiation," Max explained what was waiting for us.

_Learn to deal with your own fears_? What does that mean? What are my fears? I am afraid of needles, but I don't know how they can make me deal with that in some kind of simulation. Besides that I don't really know what I am afraid of. People finding out that I am Divergent? Something happen to Marie? Someone finding out my secrets?

How will they use them in a simulation? What if someone finds out that I am Divergent?

"Eric, Lauren and Four will oversee your training together. You will enter the simulation once a day for the next seven days. In that time you have to prove your own worth. You will begin today. You will go in according to your ranking," Max continued and he wished us good luck during the second stage on initiation.

We follow our trainers to some kind of waiting room. I sit down. I will have to wait a long time considering I am last. Michael follows Four, Skander follows Eric and Tyra follows Lauren. I look at the other initiates. They don't sit next to each other. No one is talking. Everyone seems to be in deep concentration. They are probably thinking about what fears they might be encountered within the simulation. I wonder how Michael is doing. I hope he can find a way to not make Four suspicious of him.

A boy sits down next to me suddenly. I must have been lost in my thoughts, that I hadn't notice him get up and walk over to me. He has a creamy skin color, like Tyra. Maybe they are family. They both have raven black hair and dark brown eyes: "Hallo, I am Kane, Tyra's older brother."

"Older brother?" I question and Kane explains that he is born in January and that Tyra is born in November: "I am Andy."

"I know, you are quite the talk of the town," Kane says and I raise an eyebrow at his comment, not knowing if he meant it to insult me or to just be friendly. He smirks: "The brainy girl who made us Dauntless born initiates bite the dust. I didn't dare to look my parents in the eye when I came back to the compound that night."

"I can imagine that we might have made you look stupid. You were way too confident," I say and grin myself. Sigrid joins our conversation: "We know. We won't make that mistake again, I can promise you that."

"That sounds promising," Victor answers and he introduces himself and his brother: "Maybe we can leave behind what happened at the test and start over. We will probably need each other to face this stage on initiation."

"Why would we lean on you? Why would we even lean on each other?" the girl named Luissa said. Bold words spoken by the 14the ranked person. I would have thought she would be jumping to this opportunity. It can only help her get better. She is already at the bottom of the list, along with Sarah and me. Sarah was agreeing with my thoughts: "Because you could learn a thing or two from the people standing above you on the list."

"And we don't know what we are going to face in there. It will be different for every one of us. You might be glad at the end of the day when we are willing to give you some support," I continue and Luissa doesn't seem impressed. I can tell she is going to be a hard cookie to deal with. Her next sentence made that painfully obvious: "Why don't _you_ find some support with your so called friends. You are the one who needs it."

It was like she slapped me in the face without using a hand. No one said anything and I was about to launch myself at the girl, because of the mocking smile hanging on her pink lips when Kane stretched his arm in front of me. He spoke to Luissa: "I would watch out Luissa. I heard she is the one who took Skander out during the test. You will be alone with her here when we have all gone into the simulation. Who knows what she might do to do."

That is where I recognized the name from. He is that guy I shot during the test, while I was hiding with Eric in an abandoned building. The guy who was with him hadn't made it to the second round on initiation. Maybe he left on his own because Eric scared him so much. He did look like he was about to soil himself that time.

"Yeah," Lucas says and he gets up. His brother follows his moves. They stand next to me and they have a very serious look in their eyes: "Who knows what her friends might do to you when you are alone…"

"… and your friends won't always be around to watch your back," Victor finished his brother's sentence. The two brothers looked very intimidating at this moment. I would have taken them serious. Luissa doesn't say anything, but she doesn't show them that she is intimidated by them.

I felt my heart swell with pride, seeing these people stand up for me, threatening someone because she insulted me and threw a very painfully fact in my face. Annie, Marc, Kim and Marnie were also eyeing the girl with warning eyes. The other Dauntless born initiates gave her angry looks. I guess this girl is not very popular among her group.

The heavy tension that was hanging in the room was broken when Skander walked out of the room he disappeared into with Eric. His face was very white, it was almost unnatural and he was slightly shaking. He seemed to be in shock. Kane and Sigrid walked over to him, but he didn't acknowledge them. Skander was allowed to go to his room and rest. Eric was standing in the door opening. He noticed something was going on. He directed his eyes to me. My mind wondered for a split second back to this morning and the roof: "What did you do this time initiate?"

"Me? I didn't do anything," I answer and feel insulted that he automatically expects that I did something. He should at least have given me the benefit of the doubt. Then again, he has admitted that he likes to rile me up. Dickhead. I wanted to yell at the man's stupid head, but Kane interrupted me: "She didn't do anything, sir."

I couldn't let it go. I really could not ignore the fact that some guy just called Eric _sir_ and was completely serious about it. It was too weird. I laughed, hard: "You did…not…just…call…him…"

I was laughing so hard I couldn't end my sentence. I lay down on my side and I felt tears blur my eyes. It was too funny to handle. I could see some of my friends try to suppress their laughter. They were also having a hard time, but I wasn't sure if they were laughing with me or with Eric. The man was looming over my figure and I could not avoid his hand. I stopped laughing when he flicked my forehead: "Auw!"

I need to learn to predict when he is going to do that. I should have learned it by now.


End file.
